Don't Let Father Wounds Define Your Future

I want to do one more thing before we I want to do one more thing before we go, and partly cuz it's a part of our go, and partly cuz it's a part of our go, and partly cuz it's a part of our our time together on these podcasts. I our time together on these podcasts. I our time together on these podcasts. I introduced you to my dad a few months introduced you to my dad a few months introduced you to my dad a few months ago, ago, ago, and he has been gracious enough to sit and he has been gracious enough to sit and he has been gracious enough to sit in for a handful of podcast and share a in for a handful of podcast and share a in for a handful of podcast and share a bit of his story. bit of his story. bit of his story. Well, we did another episode of that, Well, we did another episode of that, Well, we did another episode of that, not in a podcast, but Sunday morning not in a podcast, but Sunday morning not in a podcast, but Sunday morning for Father's Day at church. for Father's Day at church. for Father's Day at church. A little slightly different um A little slightly different um A little slightly different um part of the story, but it reminded me of part of the story, but it reminded me of part of the story, but it reminded me of some biblical principles. some biblical principles. some biblical principles. And I wanted to take a minute before we And I wanted to take a minute before we And I wanted to take a minute before we wrap this up today and invite you into wrap this up today and invite you into wrap this up today and invite you into that. I want to read a passage of that. I want to read a passage of that. I want to read a passage of scripture. It's from the New Testament. scripture. It's from the New Testament. scripture. It's from the New Testament. It's in Ephesians chapter 6. It's in Ephesians chapter 6. It's in Ephesians chapter 6. And Paul is quoting to the the the And Paul is quoting to the the the And Paul is quoting to the the the church at Ephesus a portion that comes church at Ephesus a portion that comes church at Ephesus a portion that comes from the Old Testament, the Hebrew from the Old Testament, the Hebrew from the Old Testament, the Hebrew Bible. Bible. Bible. Folks, you need both the Old Testament Folks, you need both the Old Testament Folks, you need both the Old Testament and the New Testament. God's character and the New Testament. God's character and the New Testament. God's character didn't change when he finished Malachi. didn't change when he finished Malachi. didn't change when he finished Malachi. But in Ephesians 6, he said, "Honor your But in Ephesians 6, he said, "Honor your But in Ephesians 6, he said, "Honor your father and mother, which is the first father and mother, which is the first father and mother, which is the first commandment with the promise, commandment with the promise, commandment with the promise, that it may go well with you and that that it may go well with you and that that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy a long life on earth.

you may enjoy a long life on earth. you may enjoy a long life on earth. Fathers, don't exasperate your children. Fathers, don't exasperate your children. Fathers, don't exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training Instead, bring them up in the training Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." and instruction of the Lord." and instruction of the Lord." Biblical command, not a suggestion, not Biblical command, not a suggestion, not Biblical command, not a suggestion, not a hint, not a prompt, not a good idea, a hint, not a prompt, not a good idea, a hint, not a prompt, not a good idea, not some subtle point of theology, not some subtle point of theology, not some subtle point of theology, one of the fundamental commandments of one of the fundamental commandments of one of the fundamental commandments of God to his people in every generation is God to his people in every generation is God to his people in every generation is that we honor our father and mother. Uh that we honor our father and mother. Uh that we honor our father and mother. Uh I don't know an escape clause on that. I don't know an escape clause on that. I don't know an escape clause on that. If we want the blessings of God fully in If we want the blessings of God fully in If we want the blessings of God fully in our lives, we've got to make that our lives, we've got to make that our lives, we've got to make that choice. It doesn't start with an choice. It doesn't start with an choice. It doesn't start with an emotion, it starts with a choice. emotion, it starts with a choice. emotion, it starts with a choice. God gave us all an earthly father. God gave us all an earthly father. God gave us all an earthly father. And then he told us to honor our father And then he told us to honor our father And then he told us to honor our father and our mother. Seems more poignant to and our mother. Seems more poignant to and our mother. Seems more poignant to me this year. In a couple of weeks, me this year. In a couple of weeks, me this year. In a couple of weeks, it'll be the 2-year anniversary when my it'll be the 2-year anniversary when my it'll be the 2-year anniversary when my mom went to heaven. mom went to heaven. mom went to heaven. And um she's still greatly missed in my And um she's still greatly missed in my And um she's still greatly missed in my life and in the lives of many of the life and in the lives of many of the life and in the lives of many of the people that I'm traveling with. people that I'm traveling with. people that I'm traveling with. So, I'm very aware that our fathers and So, I'm very aware that our fathers and So, I'm very aware that our fathers and mothers represent to us mothers represent to us mothers represent to us a part of God's provision. a part of God's provision. a part of God's provision. Uh for some of us, they were a great Uh for some of us, they were a great Uh for some of us, they were a great gift.

gift. gift. For some of us, they were pretty For some of us, they were pretty For some of us, they were pretty significant obstacles. significant obstacles. significant obstacles. The brokenness in their own lives The brokenness in their own lives The brokenness in their own lives brought brokenness to us and introduced brought brokenness to us and introduced brought brokenness to us and introduced pain to us. pain to us. pain to us. Uh no perfect people, therefore there's Uh no perfect people, therefore there's Uh no perfect people, therefore there's no perfect parents no perfect parents no perfect parents any more than we were perfect children. any more than we were perfect children. any more than we were perfect children. We all have fathers and they've parented We all have fathers and they've parented We all have fathers and they've parented us in varying degrees of effectiveness. us in varying degrees of effectiveness. us in varying degrees of effectiveness. Um but still we're called to honor them Um but still we're called to honor them Um but still we're called to honor them by God, whether they did a great job or by God, whether they did a great job or by God, whether they did a great job or a very poor job. a very poor job. a very poor job. Now, how we respond to our earthly Now, how we respond to our earthly Now, how we respond to our earthly fathers, I have come to under after fathers, I have come to under after fathers, I have come to under after years of ministry, my observation is years of ministry, my observation is years of ministry, my observation is that how we respond to our earthly that how we respond to our earthly that how we respond to our earthly fathers has a significant bearing on how fathers has a significant bearing on how fathers has a significant bearing on how we respond to our heavenly father. we respond to our heavenly father. we respond to our heavenly father. And if your earthly father was And if your earthly father was And if your earthly father was particularly broken, doesn't keep you particularly broken, doesn't keep you particularly broken, doesn't keep you from knowing your heavenly father. from knowing your heavenly father. from knowing your heavenly father. Jesus came Jesus came Jesus came to reveal to us our heavenly father to reveal to us our heavenly father to reveal to us our heavenly father in the same way he came to reveal to us in the same way he came to reveal to us in the same way he came to reveal to us God's redemption. And if you can know God's redemption. And if you can know God's redemption. And if you can know his redemption in such a his redemption in such a his redemption in such a transformational way that it changes transformational way that it changes transformational way that it changes your eternal destiny, Jesus is your eternal destiny, Jesus is your eternal destiny, Jesus is sufficient with the help of the Holy sufficient with the help of the Holy sufficient with the help of the Holy Spirit to help you know your heavenly Spirit to help you know your heavenly Spirit to help you know your heavenly father even though your earthly father father even though your earthly father father even though your earthly father may have been destructive.

may have been destructive. may have been destructive. Don't allow the enemy to give you that Don't allow the enemy to give you that Don't allow the enemy to give you that position of a deficit. It doesn't position of a deficit. It doesn't position of a deficit. It doesn't originate with God. originate with God. originate with God. He will help you. God chose our parents. He will help you. God chose our parents. He will help you. God chose our parents. I know, awkward. I know, awkward. I know, awkward. We certainly didn't choose them, God We certainly didn't choose them, God We certainly didn't choose them, God did. did. did. You know, I have come to the realization You know, I have come to the realization You know, I have come to the realization in my own life and in in walking with in my own life and in in walking with in my own life and in in walking with others that you can others that you can others that you can honor someone without approving of honor someone without approving of honor someone without approving of everything that they do. everything that they do. everything that they do. Don't get caught up in that, "Oh, well, Don't get caught up in that, "Oh, well, Don't get caught up in that, "Oh, well, I can't honor them. They did these I can't honor them. They did these I can't honor them. They did these things that were horrible." We honor things that were horrible." We honor things that were horrible." We honor people and we don't approve of all they people and we don't approve of all they people and we don't approve of all they do. We know that's true with athletes or do. We know that's true with athletes or do. We know that's true with athletes or politicians or politicians or politicians or um celebrities or actors or people of um celebrities or actors or people of um celebrities or actors or people of influence, people who you respect for influence, people who you respect for influence, people who you respect for musical ability or artistic talent or musical ability or artistic talent or musical ability or artistic talent or creativity, all sorts of things that you creativity, all sorts of things that you creativity, all sorts of things that you respect them for, but respect them for, but respect them for, but not approving of everything they do. So, not approving of everything they do. So, not approving of everything they do. So, you can show honor to your fathers, you can show honor to your fathers, you can show honor to your fathers, since we're in this Father's Day season, since we're in this Father's Day season, since we're in this Father's Day season, without giving approval to everything without giving approval to everything without giving approval to everything they've done.

they've done. they've done. Now, I want to bring this to a close by Now, I want to bring this to a close by Now, I want to bring this to a close by coming back to that question, what can coming back to that question, what can coming back to that question, what can we do? we do? we do? And I'm going to invite you to say one And I'm going to invite you to say one And I'm going to invite you to say one or two prayers with me. or two prayers with me. or two prayers with me. Um, one is all of us have fathers. Um, one is all of us have fathers. Um, one is all of us have fathers. Everybody listening's got a dad. Everybody listening's got a dad. Everybody listening's got a dad. Um, you may even have had a borrowed Um, you may even have had a borrowed Um, you may even have had a borrowed dad. dad. dad. Jesus had a borrowed dad, Jesus had a borrowed dad, Jesus had a borrowed dad, and he managed to complete his and he managed to complete his and he managed to complete his assignment. assignment. assignment. Um, so the fact that your family system Um, so the fact that your family system Um, so the fact that your family system or your family of origin was less than or your family of origin was less than or your family of origin was less than perfect does not hold the power to keep perfect does not hold the power to keep perfect does not hold the power to keep you from God's best or God's purposes you from God's best or God's purposes you from God's best or God's purposes for your life, for your life, for your life, unless you give it that power. unless you give it that power. unless you give it that power. So, what I want to invite you to do is So, what I want to invite you to do is So, what I want to invite you to do is to say a little prayer with me, to say a little prayer with me, to say a little prayer with me, a prayer of forgiveness for our fathers. a prayer of forgiveness for our fathers. a prayer of forgiveness for our fathers. You may have had an amazing dad. You may You may have had an amazing dad. You may You may have had an amazing dad. You may have a the best dad. You may have had a have a the best dad. You may have had a have a the best dad. You may have had a godly dad. But, there's still wounds godly dad. But, there's still wounds godly dad. But, there's still wounds that come through family and family that come through family and family that come through family and family systems, in the best of families. systems, in the best of families. systems, in the best of families. We are broken people, and even when we We are broken people, and even when we We are broken people, and even when we do our best, we hurt one another. do our best, we hurt one another. do our best, we hurt one another. And so, it's a great time to clean that And so, it's a great time to clean that And so, it's a great time to clean that up and offer forgiveness before God to up and offer forgiveness before God to up and offer forgiveness before God to our fathers.

our fathers. our fathers. Um, I'm going to just I'm going to say a Um, I'm going to just I'm going to say a Um, I'm going to just I'm going to say a little prayer a phrase at a time. You little prayer a phrase at a time. You little prayer a phrase at a time. You can repeat it after me. can repeat it after me. can repeat it after me. And if you if it's meaningful to you, go And if you if it's meaningful to you, go And if you if it's meaningful to you, go back and transcribe it. It's only three back and transcribe it. It's only three back and transcribe it. It's only three or four sentences. It's not a big heavy or four sentences. It's not a big heavy or four sentences. It's not a big heavy lift. lift. lift. But, you pray it. The forgiveness begins But, you pray it. The forgiveness begins But, you pray it. The forgiveness begins as a decision within us. It's not an as a decision within us. It's not an as a decision within us. It's not an emotion. emotion. emotion. If you wait for your emotion, you'll If you wait for your emotion, you'll If you wait for your emotion, you'll probably never begin. probably never begin. probably never begin. You know, if I waited for the emotion to You know, if I waited for the emotion to You know, if I waited for the emotion to lose weight, I would never start. Cuz if lose weight, I would never start. Cuz if lose weight, I would never start. Cuz if you put ice cream and Oreos in front of you put ice cream and Oreos in front of you put ice cream and Oreos in front of me, my emotions are always going to go me, my emotions are always going to go me, my emotions are always going to go absolutely. absolutely. absolutely. I have to make a decision to change my I have to make a decision to change my I have to make a decision to change my diet because I want to get to a diet because I want to get to a diet because I want to get to a healthier outcome. healthier outcome. healthier outcome. And you and I have to make a decision to And you and I have to make a decision to And you and I have to make a decision to cooperate with biblical principles to cooperate with biblical principles to cooperate with biblical principles to get to a spiritually healthier place. get to a spiritually healthier place. get to a spiritually healthier place. So, I want to invite you to join me So, I want to invite you to join me So, I want to invite you to join me to forgive our dads. I'm going to pray to forgive our dads. I'm going to pray to forgive our dads. I'm going to pray another prayer, but let's pray this one another prayer, but let's pray this one another prayer, but let's pray this one first. You can just repeat it after me. first. You can just repeat it after me. first. You can just repeat it after me. God, I need your help. God, I need your help. God, I need your help. There's a hurt that I cannot outrun or There's a hurt that I cannot outrun or There's a hurt that I cannot outrun or ignore. ignore. ignore. In obedience to your word, In obedience to your word, In obedience to your word, I forgive my father.

I forgive my father. I forgive my father. I thank you for his life. I thank you for his life. I thank you for his life. I choose to bless him today. I choose to bless him today. I choose to bless him today. Thank you now for your freedom Thank you now for your freedom Thank you now for your freedom in my life, in my life, in my life, for your peace, for your peace, for your peace, for your love and care. for your love and care. for your love and care. In Jesus' name, In Jesus' name, In Jesus' name, amen. amen. amen. You take that prayer if you have wounds You take that prayer if you have wounds You take that prayer if you have wounds from your family or from your father. from your family or from your father. from your family or from your father. You You can have wounds that remain even You You can have wounds that remain even You You can have wounds that remain even if your dad has already stepped into if your dad has already stepped into if your dad has already stepped into eternity. eternity. eternity. But your willingness to forgive will But your willingness to forgive will But your willingness to forgive will write a new future for you. write a new future for you. write a new future for you. Now, I want to add one more prayer, and Now, I want to add one more prayer, and Now, I want to add one more prayer, and that's a prayer of forgiveness that's a prayer of forgiveness that's a prayer of forgiveness for fathers. for fathers. for fathers. I I think the devil is very effective at I I think the devil is very effective at I I think the devil is very effective at reminding us of our failures. And none reminding us of our failures. And none reminding us of our failures. And none of us parent perfectly. of us parent perfectly. of us parent perfectly. None of us do relationships perfectly. None of us do relationships perfectly. None of us do relationships perfectly. It's impossible. It's impossible. It's impossible. Even when we intend to do the best, we Even when we intend to do the best, we Even when we intend to do the best, we disappoint, we cause pain, disappoint, we cause pain, disappoint, we cause pain, and without the help of God, and without the help of God, and without the help of God, we will be diminished by that because we will be diminished by that because we will be diminished by that because our adversary consistently reminds us of our adversary consistently reminds us of our adversary consistently reminds us of it.

it. it. So, I want to invite all the fathers to So, I want to invite all the fathers to So, I want to invite all the fathers to say a prayer with me. say a prayer with me. say a prayer with me. A prayer from God asking forgiveness. A prayer from God asking forgiveness. A prayer from God asking forgiveness. The greatest assignments of our lives, The greatest assignments of our lives, The greatest assignments of our lives, men, are as husbands and fathers. men, are as husbands and fathers. men, are as husbands and fathers. I I think whatever we do before the Lord I I think whatever we do before the Lord I I think whatever we do before the Lord will come secondary to those roles as will come secondary to those roles as will come secondary to those roles as husbands and fathers. husbands and fathers. husbands and fathers. And we've certainly have have seasons when we have failed in have have seasons when we have failed in those assignments. those assignments. those assignments. So, I'm going to ask you to say this So, I'm going to ask you to say this So, I'm going to ask you to say this prayer with me. Same idea. I'm going to prayer with me. Same idea. I'm going to prayer with me. Same idea. I'm going to give it to you in little short phrases. give it to you in little short phrases. give it to you in little short phrases. You can repeat them after me. If your You can repeat them after me. If your You can repeat them after me. If your words aren't exactly the same as mine, words aren't exactly the same as mine, words aren't exactly the same as mine, my words aren't holier than yours. But, my words aren't holier than yours. But, my words aren't holier than yours. But, we're going to express an attitude to we're going to express an attitude to we're going to express an attitude to the Lord of repentance and ask for his the Lord of repentance and ask for his the Lord of repentance and ask for his mercy. mercy. mercy. So, let's pray this again. So, let's pray this again. So, let's pray this again. All right? Here we go. God, you've given All right? Here we go. God, you've given All right? Here we go. God, you've given me an assignment. me an assignment. me an assignment. Help me to complete it well. Help me to complete it well. Help me to complete it well. Forgive me for my failures. Forgive me for my failures. Forgive me for my failures. I need your wisdom and courage as a man. I need your wisdom and courage as a man. I need your wisdom and courage as a man. I need your wisdom and courage as a I need your wisdom and courage as a I need your wisdom and courage as a husband.

husband. husband. And I need your wisdom and courage as a And I need your wisdom and courage as a And I need your wisdom and courage as a father. father. father. I believe that what you called me to do, I believe that what you called me to do, I believe that what you called me to do, I believe you can enable me to fulfill. I believe you can enable me to fulfill. I believe you can enable me to fulfill. I am not a failure. I am not a failure. I am not a failure. In Christ Jesus, I am victorious. In Christ Jesus, I am victorious. In Christ Jesus, I am victorious. Amen. Amen. Amen. Now, if you'll take those two simple Now, if you'll take those two simple Now, if you'll take those two simple little prayers, and you'll incorporate little prayers, and you'll incorporate little prayers, and you'll incorporate them into your devotionals for a bit, them into your devotionals for a bit, them into your devotionals for a bit, I believe the spirit of God will bring I believe the spirit of God will bring I believe the spirit of God will bring new freedom to you. new freedom to you. new freedom to you. Folks, God's moving in the earth. Folks, God's moving in the earth. Folks, God's moving in the earth. Even the Europeans that didn't like us Even the Europeans that didn't like us Even the Europeans that didn't like us have rolled up and found the amazing have rolled up and found the amazing have rolled up and found the amazing blessing of Walmart and Buc-ee's. blessing of Walmart and Buc-ee's. blessing of Walmart and Buc-ee's. If we'll allow the spirit of God, he'll If we'll allow the spirit of God, he'll If we'll allow the spirit of God, he'll help us see our lives and our worlds help us see our lives and our worlds help us see our lives and our worlds with a new perspective. with a new perspective. with a new perspective. Don't miss out on that. Invite the Don't miss out on that. Invite the Don't miss out on that. Invite the spirit of God to help you. He is waiting spirit of God to help you. He is waiting spirit of God to help you. He is waiting and willing [music] and able. and willing [music] and able. and willing [music] and able. God bless you. And we'll talk soon.