When Disappointment Takes Up Residence | Bryan Loritts

By far, one of the most poignant scenes, By far, one of the most poignant scenes, maybe the most emotional scene in sitcom maybe the most emotional scene in sitcom maybe the most emotional scene in sitcom history, history, history, I'm going to take you back late '80s, I'm going to take you back late '80s, I'm going to take you back late '80s, early early '90s, Fresh Prince of early early '90s, Fresh Prince of early early '90s, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Bel-Air. Bel-Air. I'm sure that wasn't on your bingo card I'm sure that wasn't on your bingo card I'm sure that wasn't on your bingo card when you were thinking about church when you were thinking about church when you were thinking about church today. today. today. But this is one particular episode that But this is one particular episode that But this is one particular episode that just gets me every time. just gets me every time. just gets me every time. >> [clears throat] >> [clears throat] >> [clears throat] >> Will Smith, >> Will Smith, >> Will Smith, his dad, biological dad, is in town. his dad, biological dad, is in town. his dad, biological dad, is in town. He's been estranged from his father for He's been estranged from his father for He's been estranged from his father for the better part of his whole life. the better part of his whole life. the better part of his whole life. His biological father just pops up. His biological father just pops up. His biological father just pops up. And boy, for most of this this And boy, for most of this this And boy, for most of this this particular episode, you can just see the particular episode, you can just see the particular episode, you can just see the joy and excitement on Will's face. joy and excitement on Will's face. joy and excitement on Will's face. They're spending time together. They're They're spending time together. They're They're spending time together. They're reconnecting. reconnecting. reconnecting. It's beautiful. It's phenomenal. It's beautiful. It's phenomenal. It's beautiful. It's phenomenal. They go to an amusement park. Um they're They go to an amusement park. Um they're They go to an amusement park. Um they're they're having great times. Will is even they're having great times. Will is even they're having great times. Will is even stepping out there, and he does the stepping out there, and he does the stepping out there, and he does the unthinkable. He calls him dad. unthinkable. He calls him dad. unthinkable. He calls him dad. The the the reconnecting is so great The the the reconnecting is so great The the the reconnecting is so great that his his dad actually invites him on that his his dad actually invites him on that his his dad actually invites him on a trip that summer with him. And boy, a trip that summer with him. And boy, a trip that summer with him. And boy, Will, you can just see him grow another Will, you can just see him grow another Will, you can just see him grow another foot taller.

foot taller. foot taller. He's on cloud nine. He's on cloud nine. He's on cloud nine. And then at the 11th hour, his dad bails. his dad bails. Ghosts him. Ghosts him. Ghosts him. And you can just see the And you can just see the And you can just see the the excitement just leak out of him. And the disappointment And the disappointment take up residence. take up residence. take up residence. In a moving scene, In a moving scene, In a moving scene, Will's Uncle Phil checks in on him. Will's Uncle Phil checks in on him. Will's Uncle Phil checks in on him. And initially, Will hides behind a And initially, Will hides behind a And initially, Will hides behind a facade of bravado, facade of bravado, facade of bravado, acting as if it's no big deal. acting as if it's no big deal. acting as if it's no big deal. Look at what he says. Look at what he says. Look at what he says. No, you know what, Uncle Phil, I'm I'm No, you know what, Uncle Phil, I'm I'm No, you know what, Uncle Phil, I'm I'm going to get through college without going to get through college without going to get through college without him. I'm going to get a great job him. I'm going to get a great job him. I'm going to get a great job Without him, I'm going to marry me a Without him, I'm going to marry me a Without him, I'm going to marry me a beautiful honey, and I'mma have me a beautiful honey, and I'mma have me a beautiful honey, and I'mma have me a whole bunch of kids. I'll be a better whole bunch of kids. I'll be a better whole bunch of kids. I'll be a better father than he ever was. And I sure father than he ever was. And I sure father than he ever was. And I sure don't need him for that, cuz there ain't don't need him for that, cuz there ain't don't need him for that, cuz there ain't ain't a thing he can ever teach me about ain't a thing he can ever teach me about ain't a thing he can ever teach me about how to love my kids.

I I share this story for several I I share this story for several reasons. reasons. reasons. One is I I know that there's a group of One is I I know that there's a group of One is I I know that there's a group of you this story you this story you this story hits really close to home. hits really close to home. hits really close to home. You you you know exactly what Will is You you you know exactly what Will is You you you know exactly what Will is feeling. You you grew up in a home where feeling. You you grew up in a home where feeling. You you grew up in a home where your dad just your dad just your dad just he wasn't there. Either he wasn't there he wasn't there. Either he wasn't there he wasn't there. Either he wasn't there physically and or emotionally. He punted physically and or emotionally. He punted physically and or emotionally. He punted on his responsibilities to you, and here on his responsibilities to you, and here on his responsibilities to you, and here you are a decade couple decades later, you are a decade couple decades later, you are a decade couple decades later, and then you're on this manhood journey, and then you're on this manhood journey, and then you're on this manhood journey, and it feels as if you are walking in and it feels as if you are walking in and it feels as if you are walking in the dark making it up as you go along. the dark making it up as you go along. the dark making it up as you go along. You maybe you're just entering into You maybe you're just entering into You maybe you're just entering into fatherhood, and you're like, man, I I fatherhood, and you're like, man, I I fatherhood, and you're like, man, I I feel like I'm doing this without the feel like I'm doing this without the feel like I'm doing this without the GPS. My dad should have been that GPS. My dad should have been that GPS. My dad should have been that blueprint, and and you feel overwhelmed blueprint, and and you feel overwhelmed blueprint, and and you feel overwhelmed and lost. And I don't say this to and lost. And I don't say this to and lost. And I don't say this to flatter you at all. I'm telling you the flatter you at all. I'm telling you the flatter you at all. I'm telling you the absolute truth. Some of the best men, absolute truth. Some of the best men, absolute truth. Some of the best men, some of the best dads, especially, that some of the best dads, especially, that some of the best dads, especially, that I've ever met in my life are those dads I've ever met in my life are those dads I've ever met in my life are those dads who who came from fatherless homes, who who who came from fatherless homes, who who who came from fatherless homes, who in their own way just at some point IN in their own way just at some point IN in their own way just at some point IN THEIR LIVES GO, MY kids will never know THEIR LIVES GO, MY kids will never know THEIR LIVES GO, MY kids will never know that pain that I felt.

And many of these dads now are followers And many of these dads now are followers of Jesus Christ. They're like, MAN, BUT of Jesus Christ. They're like, MAN, BUT of Jesus Christ. They're like, MAN, BUT BY THE SPIRIT OF GOD, THE GENERATIONAL BY THE SPIRIT OF GOD, THE GENERATIONAL BY THE SPIRIT OF GOD, THE GENERATIONAL curse stops with me. curse stops with me. curse stops with me. I'm turning a page. I'm I'm I'm just I'm turning a page. I'm I'm I'm just I'm turning a page. I'm I'm I'm just going to write a new legacy. going to write a new legacy. going to write a new legacy. And that's my word to you. And that's my word to you. And that's my word to you. Write a legacy. Write a legacy. Write a legacy. THAT WHEN FATHER AND MOTHER deserts you THAT WHEN FATHER AND MOTHER deserts you THAT WHEN FATHER AND MOTHER deserts you as as David wrote, the Lord will take as as David wrote, the Lord will take as as David wrote, the Lord will take you up. you up. you up. Lean into him. Lean into him. Lean into him. But others of you, this this hits close But others of you, this this hits close But others of you, this this hits close to home because you don't so much to home because you don't so much to home because you don't so much identify with the son.