From Emptiness to Fullness in Jesus

My name's Kennaia. I'm in 10th grade and My name's Kennaia. I'm in 10th grade and I attend the BG in Elizabethtown at I attend the BG in Elizabethtown at I attend the BG in Elizabethtown at Southeast Christian Church. Me and my family stopped going to church Me and my family stopped going to church when I was around like six. We had moved when I was around like six. We had moved when I was around like six. We had moved from Michigan to Kentucky and my mom from Michigan to Kentucky and my mom from Michigan to Kentucky and my mom just never really found a church. just never really found a church. just never really found a church. [music] And when I moved here, I wasn't [music] And when I moved here, I wasn't [music] And when I moved here, I wasn't really friends with anybody cuz I was really friends with anybody cuz I was really friends with anybody cuz I was really quiet. So, I would just kiss up really quiet. So, I would just kiss up really quiet. So, I would just kiss up to people just to be liked or to be to people just to be liked or to be to people just to be liked or to be heard or be seen so heard or be seen so heard or be seen so >> [music] >> [music] >> [music] >> I didn't miss out on anything. Had a >> I didn't miss out on anything. Had a >> I didn't miss out on anything. Had a really bad FOMO. I was chronically on really bad FOMO. I was chronically on really bad FOMO. I was chronically on TikTok TikTok TikTok >> [music] >> [music] >> [music] >> and I would just see people who knew >> and I would just see people who knew >> and I would just see people who knew this man who saved them. It was like a this man who saved them. It was like a this man who saved them. It was like a trend to me, I guess. I went upstairs trend to me, I guess. I went upstairs trend to me, I guess. I went upstairs and I got a Bible. It was the King James and I got a Bible. It was the King James and I got a Bible. It was the King James version so I couldn't understand it. And version so I couldn't understand it. And version so I couldn't understand it. And every time I prayed, I just I didn't every time I prayed, I just I didn't every time I prayed, I just I didn't feel anything. I didn't hear anything. feel anything. I didn't hear anything. feel anything. I didn't hear anything. It was just kind of like backhanded like It was just kind of like backhanded like It was just kind of like backhanded like anytime that I wanted something, I would anytime that I wanted something, I would anytime that I wanted something, I would be like, "Hey Jesus, can you help me be like, "Hey Jesus, can you help me be like, "Hey Jesus, can you help me with this or can you help me with that?" with this or can you help me with that?" with this or can you help me with that?" Or like, "Can you help me get this Or like, "Can you help me get this Or like, "Can you help me get this friendship back?" Just things that I friendship back?" Just things that I friendship back?" Just things that I wanted. My friend GG was kept asking me, wanted. My friend GG was kept asking me, wanted. My friend GG was kept asking me, "Kennaia, come to camp. Kennaia, come to "Kennaia, come to camp. Kennaia, come to "Kennaia, come to camp. Kennaia, come to camp. Kennaia, come to camp." And I was camp. Kennaia, come to camp." And I was camp. Kennaia, come to camp." And I was just like, "No." And then my eighth just like, "No." And then my eighth just like, "No." And then my eighth grade year, I was like, "Fine, like I'll grade year, I was like, "Fine, like I'll grade year, I was like, "Fine, like I'll go to camp." When I was leaving, I just go to camp." When I was leaving, I just go to camp." When I was leaving, I just thought that I was going to just have thought that I was going to just have thought that I was going to just have fun with my friends. I wasn't really fun with my friends. I wasn't really fun with my friends. I wasn't really expecting to [music] get something major expecting to [music] get something major expecting to [music] get something major out of it. I had a little bit of fun, out of it. I had a little bit of fun, out of it. I had a little bit of fun, but it wasn't like this is really but it wasn't like this is really but it wasn't like this is really benefiting me. Like I'm just walking benefiting me. Like I'm just walking benefiting me. Like I'm just walking miles and miles and I'm just so tired.

miles and miles and I'm just so tired. miles and miles and I'm just so tired. I'm sleepy and I feel like I, you know, I'm sleepy and I feel like I, you know, I'm sleepy and I feel like I, you know, dehydrated. [music] dehydrated. [music] dehydrated. [music] So, I was just so irritated. On day So, I was just so irritated. On day So, I was just so irritated. On day three, I'm kind of like, "Okay, like three, I'm kind of like, "Okay, like three, I'm kind of like, "Okay, like I've had a little bit of fun. Let's just I've had a little bit of fun. Let's just I've had a little bit of fun. Let's just get this week over with." But on day get this week over with." But on day get this week over with." But on day three, I had went back into the dorm three, I had went back into the dorm three, I had went back into the dorm room room room and [music] I had cried cuz I was ready and [music] I had cried cuz I was ready and [music] I had cried cuz I was ready to go home. I had text my mom that I to go home. I had text my mom that I to go home. I had text my mom that I wanted to go home. I remember we went to wanted to go home. I remember we went to wanted to go home. I remember we went to worship. Still didn't feel anything. worship. Still didn't feel anything. worship. Still didn't feel anything. Still was just like a little bit Still was just like a little bit Still was just like a little bit irritated, ready to go home. And I just irritated, ready to go home. And I just irritated, ready to go home. And I just remember they turned on I this song is remember they turned on I this song is remember they turned on I this song is called I Need Jesus and I just remember called I Need Jesus and I just remember called I Need Jesus and I just remember crying and my friend looks over at me. crying and my friend looks over at me. crying and my friend looks over at me. She's like, "Are you crying?" And I'm She's like, "Are you crying?" And I'm She's like, "Are you crying?" And I'm just like, "I am crying." And I would just like, "I am crying." And I would just like, "I am crying." And I would just remember wipe my face and I just just remember wipe my face and I just just remember wipe my face and I just started crying and bawling and bawling. started crying and bawling and bawling. started crying and bawling and bawling. Then after that, I felt, you know, a Then after that, I felt, you know, a Then after that, I felt, you know, a little tiny hand on my shoulder and I little tiny hand on my shoulder and I little tiny hand on my shoulder and I look back and it's from Ms. Rebecca look back and it's from Ms. Rebecca look back and it's from Ms. Rebecca holding a cloth. You know, we hug and holding a cloth. You know, we hug and holding a cloth. You know, we hug and everything and I'm [music] just like, "I everything and I'm [music] just like, "I everything and I'm [music] just like, "I don't know. I just I feel different. I don't know. I just I feel different. I don't know. I just I feel different. I feel like this emptiness [music] feel like this emptiness [music] feel like this emptiness [music] is just it's gone."

When I went back to the dorms, I waited When I went back to the dorms, I waited for my friend to get out of the shower for my friend to get out of the shower for my friend to get out of the shower and get in the shower cuz I've never and get in the shower cuz I've never and get in the shower cuz I've never really prayed in front of anybody. I really prayed in front of anybody. I really prayed in front of anybody. I didn't want to like say the wrong things didn't want to like say the wrong things didn't want to like say the wrong things or anything. I said these exact words. I or anything. I said these exact words. I or anything. I said these exact words. I was just like, "Jesus, if you can hear was just like, "Jesus, if you can hear was just like, "Jesus, if you can hear me, I don't want to disappoint you me, I don't want to disappoint you me, I don't want to disappoint you anymore. I don't want to disappoint anymore. I don't want to disappoint anymore. I don't want to disappoint myself anymore. Could you please change myself anymore. Could you please change myself anymore. Could you please change me?" And [music] actually, after that, me?" And [music] actually, after that, me?" And [music] actually, after that, the next day, I don't remember who it the next day, I don't remember who it the next day, I don't remember who it was, but they were talking about taking was, but they were talking about taking was, but they were talking about taking the mask [music] off and letting Jesus the mask [music] off and letting Jesus the mask [music] off and letting Jesus see who you really are. Like not hiding. see who you really are. Like not hiding. see who you really are. Like not hiding. I remember I was like, "I prayed that I remember I was like, "I prayed that I remember I was like, "I prayed that prayer today." You know, like this can't prayer today." You know, like this can't prayer today." You know, like this can't just be a coincidence. That really like just be a coincidence. That really like just be a coincidence. That really like changed how I seen things. changed how I seen things. changed how I seen things. I remember on the last day, Mr. Ruble I remember on the last day, Mr. Ruble I remember on the last day, Mr. Ruble was talking about, "When you go home, was talking about, "When you go home, was talking about, "When you go home, it's not going to be cupcakes and it's not going to be cupcakes and it's not going to be cupcakes and rainbows." And then I went home and it rainbows." And then I went home and it rainbows." And then I went home and it was so bad. was so bad. was so bad. I told my mom I wanted to get baptized I told my mom I wanted to get baptized I told my mom I wanted to get baptized and she wasn't like the most supportive and she wasn't like the most supportive and she wasn't like the most supportive of it. When I went to school, it wasn't of it. When I went to school, it wasn't of it. When I went to school, it wasn't any better because like none of my any better because like none of my any better because like none of my friends at school really went to camp. friends at school really went to camp. friends at school really went to camp. My heart was just like, "Something My heart was just like, "Something My heart was just like, "Something [music] ain't right. And I know it's not [music] ain't right. And I know it's not [music] ain't right. And I know it's not me." I got baptized. I was a little me." I got baptized. I was a little me." I got baptized. I was a little scared cuz my friend GG was like, "This scared cuz my friend GG was like, "This scared cuz my friend GG was like, "This is a like big commitment and it's not is a like big commitment and it's not is a like big commitment and it's not going to be easy, but I'm glad I did going to be easy, but I'm glad I did going to be easy, but I'm glad I did it." After camp, really everyone was it." After camp, really everyone was it." After camp, really everyone was talking about it. Everyone talking about it. Everyone talking about it. Everyone was talking about how hard it is to was talking about how hard it is to was talking about how hard it is to separate ourselves from the way camp has separate ourselves from the way camp has separate ourselves from the way camp has changed us versus [music] how they still changed us versus [music] how they still changed us versus [music] how they still think we are and trying to separate think we are and trying to separate think we are and trying to separate ourselves from who we used to be to who ourselves from who we used to be to who ourselves from who we used to be to who we are now. I want them [music] to feel we are now. I want them [music] to feel we are now. I want them [music] to feel what I felt, to not feel like they're what I felt, to not feel like they're what I felt, to not feel like they're alone, [music] or feel like that they alone, [music] or feel like that they alone, [music] or feel like that they have to act a certain way. And I also

have to act a certain way. And I also have to act a certain way. And I also want people to just get to know Jesus, want people to just get to know Jesus, want people to just get to know Jesus, or get to know us. It all starts just by or get to know us. It all starts just by or get to know us. It all starts just by saying yes. saying yes. saying yes. But you don't have to be perfect. Once But you don't have to be perfect. Once But you don't have to be perfect. Once you [music] reach the point where Jesus you [music] reach the point where Jesus you [music] reach the point where Jesus can finally meet you, everything will can finally meet you, everything will can finally meet you, everything will fall into place. Not as you planned, but fall into place. Not as you planned, but fall into place. Not as you planned, but as he planned. He's [music] going to as he planned. He's [music] going to as he planned. He's [music] going to make the footsteps while you walk in make the footsteps while you walk in make the footsteps while you walk in them. Take these few days to let them. Take these few days to let them. Take these few days to let everything go, to let your ears be everything go, to let your ears be everything go, to let your ears be attentive to the things around you. attentive to the things around you. attentive to the things around you. Before Jesus, I [music] was really mean, Before Jesus, I [music] was really mean, Before Jesus, I [music] was really mean, and like I didn't really care about me and like I didn't really care about me and like I didn't really care about me or other people. Because of Jesus, I'm or other people. Because of Jesus, I'm or other people. Because of Jesus, I'm now I'm more open to being vulnerable now I'm more open to being vulnerable now I'm more open to being vulnerable and available for those who need me. and available for those who need me. and available for those who need me. Now, instead [music] of leaning on Now, instead [music] of leaning on Now, instead [music] of leaning on others for my happiness and to depend on others for my happiness and to depend on others for my happiness and to depend on them, now I depend on Jesus, my best them, now I depend on Jesus, my best them, now I depend on Jesus, my best friend.