Already in Motion | 1 Samuel 9

This is Spider-Man. [laughter] Like This is Spider-Man. [laughter] Like >> I mean kind of. Yeah. Is Spider-Man. >> I mean kind of. Yeah. Is Spider-Man. >> I mean kind of. Yeah. Is Spider-Man. That's a hot take on this story, guys. That's a hot take on this story, guys. That's a hot take on this story, guys. This is my brain. [laughter] Leave me This is my brain. [laughter] Leave me This is my brain. [laughter] Leave me alone. alone. alone. >> Well, no. Kind of. No. No. No. It is >> Well, no. Kind of. No. No. No. It is >> Well, no. Kind of. No. No. No. It is because Saul didn't expect any of this. because Saul didn't expect any of this. because Saul didn't expect any of this. He's suddenly given like power and He's suddenly given like power and He's suddenly given like power and responsibility and authority and he's responsibility and authority and he's responsibility and authority and he's just a dude. King. just a dude. King. just a dude. King. >> Anyways, we're moving on. >> Anyways, we're moving on. >> Anyways, we're moving on. >> This is the Crossroads Daily. No >> This is the Crossroads Daily. No >> This is the Crossroads Daily. No experts, no perfect people, just honest experts, no perfect people, just honest experts, no perfect people, just honest conversations about what happens when conversations about what happens when conversations about what happens when the Bible shows up in real life. >> Welcome to Crossroads Daily. My name is >> Welcome to Crossroads Daily. My name is Caleb. Caleb. Caleb. >> I'm Alex. >> I'm Alex. >> I'm Alex. >> I'm Mo. >> I'm Mo. >> I'm Mo. >> I'm Kirsten. >> I'm Kirsten. >> I'm Kirsten. >> And today we're looking at 1 Samuel >> And today we're looking at 1 Samuel >> And today we're looking at 1 Samuel chapter 9. So the chapter before chapter chapter 9. So the chapter before chapter chapter 9. So the chapter before chapter 8, God's people asked for a king. God 8, God's people asked for a king. God 8, God's people asked for a king. God didn't really want to give it to them, didn't really want to give it to them, didn't really want to give it to them, but he was accommodating to their but he was accommodating to their but he was accommodating to their request. request. request. >> How kind. How kind is [laughter] >> How kind. How kind is [laughter] >> How kind. How kind is [laughter] so nice? so nice? so nice? >> Chapter nine, uh, we find out who that >> Chapter nine, uh, we find out who that >> Chapter nine, uh, we find out who that king is. It's a It's a really handsome, king is. It's a It's a really handsome, king is. It's a It's a really handsome, tall guy named Saul.

tall guy named Saul. tall guy named Saul. >> We love that. >> We love that. >> We love that. >> Don't we love handsome [laughter] and >> Don't we love handsome [laughter] and >> Don't we love handsome [laughter] and tall? Just like Mo tall? Just like Mo tall? Just like Mo and tall. What a stud [laughter] over and tall. What a stud [laughter] over and tall. What a stud [laughter] over there. Uh, yeah. Chapter nine, Samuel or there. Uh, yeah. Chapter nine, Samuel or there. Uh, yeah. Chapter nine, Samuel or uh Saul is out uh Saul is out uh Saul is out >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> looking for his father's sheep. has no >> looking for his father's sheep. has no >> looking for his father's sheep. has no idea what's about to happen idea what's about to happen idea what's about to happen >> and uh comes in contact with Samuel the >> and uh comes in contact with Samuel the >> and uh comes in contact with Samuel the prophet and he's going to end up being prophet and he's going to end up being prophet and he's going to end up being anointed the first king of Israel. anointed the first king of Israel. anointed the first king of Israel. >> Um and I was I was was thinking about >> Um and I was I was was thinking about >> Um and I was I was was thinking about that about that this this morning and that about that this this morning and that about that this this morning and that saying like it's easier to uh steer that saying like it's easier to uh steer that saying like it's easier to uh steer a moving ship, you know? So, uh Saul is a moving ship, you know? So, uh Saul is a moving ship, you know? So, uh Saul is out doing something else and God makes out doing something else and God makes out doing something else and God makes God has him pivot right from looking for God has him pivot right from looking for God has him pivot right from looking for these lost animals to these lost animals to these lost animals to >> you are the king of Israel. Yeah. Yeah. >> you are the king of Israel. Yeah. Yeah. >> you are the king of Israel. Yeah. Yeah. >> So, it's easier to steer a moving ship >> So, it's easier to steer a moving ship >> So, it's easier to steer a moving ship than like a stationary one. than like a stationary one. than like a stationary one. >> Yeah. Stationary ship you can't steer at >> Yeah. Stationary ship you can't steer at >> Yeah. Stationary ship you can't steer at all. Stuck in. Yeah. But if it's but all. Stuck in. Yeah. But if it's but all. Stuck in. Yeah. But if it's but [laughter] if it's moving, the little [laughter] if it's moving, the little [laughter] if it's moving, the little tiny rudder can move left or right and tiny rudder can move left or right and tiny rudder can move left or right and then you can move it. But if it's then you can move it. But if it's then you can move it. But if it's moving, moving the rudder doesn't do moving, moving the rudder doesn't do moving, moving the rudder doesn't do anything. Or if it's still moving, the anything. Or if it's still moving, the anything. Or if it's still moving, the rudder doesn't do anything. rudder doesn't do anything. rudder doesn't do anything. >> Um, >> Um, >> Um, >> so where's a time in your life where >> so where's a time in your life where >> so where's a time in your life where you've been moving a certain direction you've been moving a certain direction you've been moving a certain direction and you feel like God asked you to pivot and you feel like God asked you to pivot and you feel like God asked you to pivot a different way? What did that look a different way? What did that look a different way? What did that look like, feel like? What was the outcome of like, feel like? What was the outcome of like, feel like? What was the outcome of that?

that? that? Well, I know I've shared with some of Well, I know I've shared with some of Well, I know I've shared with some of you all before, um that my husband and you all before, um that my husband and you all before, um that my husband and I, this was a while ago, felt really I, this was a while ago, felt really I, this was a while ago, felt really specifically called by God through some specifically called by God through some specifically called by God through some other people and through some prayer other people and through some prayer other people and through some prayer time between the two of us to be foster time between the two of us to be foster time between the two of us to be foster parents. And so, we decided to pursue parents. And so, we decided to pursue parents. And so, we decided to pursue that. We were like moving in that that. We were like moving in that that. We were like moving in that direction like you were saying. We were direction like you were saying. We were direction like you were saying. We were taking classes and we were meeting with taking classes and we were meeting with taking classes and we were meeting with other people who were foster parents. other people who were foster parents. other people who were foster parents. And um at the time I had shared with a And um at the time I had shared with a And um at the time I had shared with a few other people that that was something few other people that that was something few other people that that was something that we were going to do. that we were going to do. that we were going to do. >> And um we got a call one day. We were >> And um we got a call one day. We were >> And um we got a call one day. We were not certified at this point. like we not certified at this point. like we not certified at this point. like we were probably months down the road from were probably months down the road from were probably months down the road from being in a situation where we were ready being in a situation where we were ready being in a situation where we were ready to accept kids, but we got a call from to accept kids, but we got a call from to accept kids, but we got a call from the county saying that there were three the county saying that there were three the county saying that there were three kids from a woman that I knew that I had kids from a woman that I knew that I had kids from a woman that I knew that I had told um that we were pursuing foster um told um that we were pursuing foster um told um that we were pursuing foster um parenting and asked if we could take her parenting and asked if we could take her parenting and asked if we could take her kids before we were certified. And so kids before we were certified. And so kids before we were certified. And so that was uh we were moving in this that was uh we were moving in this that was uh we were moving in this direction and I I don't even know what direction and I I don't even know what direction and I I don't even know what direction that was but I guess it was direction that was but I guess it was direction that was but I guess it was kind of in the same direction but it kind of in the same direction but it kind of in the same direction but it felt like a total we were unprepared. We felt like a total we were unprepared. We felt like a total we were unprepared. We were not ready. It was not the ages. It were not ready. It was not the ages. It were not ready. It was not the ages. It was three kids at once. Um, and we just was three kids at once. Um, and we just was three kids at once. Um, and we just felt like we had a yes in our heart to felt like we had a yes in our heart to felt like we had a yes in our heart to accept these kids and we did and it was accept these kids and we did and it was accept these kids and we did and it was crazy. But that felt like a total pivot crazy. But that felt like a total pivot crazy. But that felt like a total pivot from, well, I thought my mind was here

from, well, I thought my mind was here from, well, I thought my mind was here and we can do all of these classes and and we can do all of these classes and and we can do all of these classes and prepare really well, right? And then all prepare really well, right? And then all prepare really well, right? And then all of a sudden, we just had three kids in of a sudden, we just had three kids in of a sudden, we just had three kids in our [laughter] house and we had to learn our [laughter] house and we had to learn our [laughter] house and we had to learn >> how to be parents. >> how to be parents. >> how to be parents. >> And they were like older kids, right? >> And they were like older kids, right? >> And they were like older kids, right? Like knowing your story. Yes, they were Like knowing your story. Yes, they were Like knowing your story. Yes, they were um 8, 13, and 17 at the time that we um 8, 13, and 17 at the time that we um 8, 13, and 17 at the time that we took them. And I was like, I don't know, took them. And I was like, I don't know, took them. And I was like, I don't know, 20 something, 26. And I was 20 something, 26. And I was 20 something, 26. And I was >> going to parent a 17-year-old who >> going to parent a 17-year-old who >> going to parent a 17-year-old who certainly thought that they were also 26 certainly thought that they were also 26 certainly thought that they were also 26 or older. or older. or older. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> So, that was crazy. >> So, that was crazy. >> So, that was crazy. >> It's like a big sister mom. Like, >> It's like a big sister mom. Like, >> It's like a big sister mom. Like, [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> sure. >> sure. >> sure. >> Right. That's a huge pivot. Yeah. I >> Right. That's a huge pivot. Yeah. I >> Right. That's a huge pivot. Yeah. I think that's a really good example too think that's a really good example too think that's a really good example too of like the um what you shared earlier of like the um what you shared earlier of like the um what you shared earlier about the um steering the ship that's about the um steering the ship that's about the um steering the ship that's already in motion because you being in already in motion because you being in already in motion because you being in motion doing that actually positioned motion doing that actually positioned motion doing that actually positioned you to be you know steered in you to be you know steered in you to be you know steered in >> and we had already some resources and >> and we had already some resources and >> and we had already some resources and people who were in our corner that we people who were in our corner that we people who were in our corner that we were preparing were preparing were preparing >> we were already preparing for something >> we were already preparing for something >> we were already preparing for something that we knew God was going to do and but that we knew God was going to do and but that we knew God was going to do and but I think that in my mind I was like well I think that in my mind I was like well I think that in my mind I was like well I want everything to be ready. Yeah.

>> God more than maybe if I felt super >> God more than maybe if I felt super prepared and we have all the things in prepared and we have all the things in prepared and we have all the things in place and we're really highly equipped, place and we're really highly equipped, place and we're really highly equipped, which I I assure you I was already which I I assure you I was already which I I assure you I was already overconfident for what we overconfident for what we overconfident for what we >> what we were. [laughter] Yes, >> what we were. [laughter] Yes, >> what we were. [laughter] Yes, >> I really was. But it it it forced us to >> I really was. But it it it forced us to >> I really was. But it it it forced us to trust God. trust God. trust God. >> That's a very that's a very God thing. >> That's a very that's a very God thing. >> That's a very that's a very God thing. He uh doesn't care too much about our He uh doesn't care too much about our He uh doesn't care too much about our checklist of like I need to do all these checklist of like I need to do all these checklist of like I need to do all these things before this happens. He's like no things before this happens. He's like no things before this happens. He's like no >> what if you just relied on me >> what if you just relied on me >> what if you just relied on me >> right totally. >> right totally. >> right totally. >> Which I can't imagine Saul felt a >> Which I can't imagine Saul felt a >> Which I can't imagine Saul felt a similar way of like I'm not supposed to similar way of like I'm not supposed to similar way of like I'm not supposed to be king. be king. be king. >> I want to read this verse here. This is >> I want to read this verse here. This is >> I want to read this verse here. This is uh this is chapter chapter 21. Um uh this is chapter chapter 21. Um uh this is chapter chapter 21. Um >> yeah Saul Saul says that he's like am I >> yeah Saul Saul says that he's like am I >> yeah Saul Saul says that he's like am I not a Benjaminite from the smallest of not a Benjaminite from the smallest of not a Benjaminite from the smallest of Israel's tribe? And isn't my clan the Israel's tribe? And isn't my clan the Israel's tribe? And isn't my clan the least important of all the tribes? like least important of all the tribes? like least important of all the tribes? like he's like why why are you saying these he's like why why are you saying these he's like why why are you saying these important things to me? I'm the least important things to me? I'm the least important things to me? I'm the least important person in the least important important person in the least important important person in the least important tribe in all of Israel, right? Feeling tribe in all of Israel, right? Feeling tribe in all of Israel, right? Feeling super unqualified. So, I'm sure we can super unqualified. So, I'm sure we can super unqualified. So, I'm sure we can all think of times whether it felt like all think of times whether it felt like all think of times whether it felt like a huge pivot or not where we felt a huge pivot or not where we felt a huge pivot or not where we felt unqualified for something that we felt unqualified for something that we felt unqualified for something that we felt like God wanted us to do, whether it was like God wanted us to do, whether it was like God wanted us to do, whether it was being a foster parent. My story is being a foster parent. My story is being a foster parent. My story is shifting from I was a high school shifting from I was a high school shifting from I was a high school science teacher science teacher science teacher >> into like a full-time ministry gig and >> into like a full-time ministry gig and >> into like a full-time ministry gig and student student pastoring.

student student pastoring. student student pastoring. >> Um I know you guys have things as well. >> Um I know you guys have things as well. >> Um I know you guys have things as well. What what's something that you felt What what's something that you felt What what's something that you felt unqualified for? And what was it like unqualified for? And what was it like unqualified for? And what was it like following God into it? What was the big following God into it? What was the big following God into it? What was the big faith move for you? C faith move for you? C faith move for you? C >> can I just say real quick, I just keep >> can I just say real quick, I just keep >> can I just say real quick, I just keep picturing Tom Holland. Like the man is picturing Tom Holland. Like the man is picturing Tom Holland. Like the man is me and my husband agree. He's fine. He's me and my husband agree. He's fine. He's me and my husband agree. He's fine. He's fine. He's married to Zena. fine. He's married to Zena. fine. He's married to Zena. >> We got to love some. I'm just like like >> We got to love some. I'm just like like >> We got to love some. I'm just like like his spider like Spider-Man story is just his spider like Spider-Man story is just his spider like Spider-Man story is just that's what I keep picturing is like that's what I keep picturing is like that's what I keep picturing is like >> you know this little >> you know this little >> you know this little >> like New York City kid and I just keep >> like New York City kid and I just keep >> like New York City kid and I just keep giggling cuz whenever I read stories giggling cuz whenever I read stories giggling cuz whenever I read stories that just remind me of that just remind me of that just remind me of >> pop culture things I'm like oh my gosh >> pop culture things I'm like oh my gosh >> pop culture things I'm like oh my gosh this is Spider-Man [laughter] this is Spider-Man [laughter] this is Spider-Man [laughter] >> like >> like >> like >> I mean kind of yeah Spider-Man that's a >> I mean kind of yeah Spider-Man that's a >> I mean kind of yeah Spider-Man that's a hot take on this story [laughter] guys hot take on this story [laughter] guys hot take on this story [laughter] guys this is my brain leave me alone this is my brain leave me alone this is my brain leave me alone >> well no kind of No, no, no. It is >> well no kind of No, no, no. It is >> well no kind of No, no, no. It is because Saul didn't expect any of this. because Saul didn't expect any of this. because Saul didn't expect any of this. He's suddenly given like power and He's suddenly given like power and He's suddenly given like power and responsibility and authority.

responsibility and authority. responsibility and authority. >> I mean, just a dude. King, >> I mean, just a dude. King, >> I mean, just a dude. King, >> let's jump. Anyways, [laughter] we're >> let's jump. Anyways, [laughter] we're >> let's jump. Anyways, [laughter] we're moving on. Um, do you like the Velcro moving on. Um, do you like the Velcro moving on. Um, do you like the Velcro shoes, by the way, that I had to bring shoes, by the way, that I had to bring shoes, by the way, that I had to bring them up at some point in this podcast. them up at some point in this podcast. them up at some point in this podcast. Okay, this is Okay, this is Okay, this is >> we're done with the side the side >> we're done with the side the side >> we're done with the side the side tangents. I just had to get it out of my tangents. I just had to get it out of my tangents. I just had to get it out of my brain. um a time you mentioned your brain. um a time you mentioned your brain. um a time you mentioned your calling into ministry and we don't talk calling into ministry and we don't talk calling into ministry and we don't talk about it a ton but that was totally a about it a ton but that was totally a about it a ton but that was totally a time God was like in my life because I time God was like in my life because I time God was like in my life because I had done five years at University of had done five years at University of had done five years at University of Cincinnati for construction management. Cincinnati for construction management. Cincinnati for construction management. I was a boss woman. I was like a girl a I was a boss woman. I was like a girl a I was a boss woman. I was like a girl a girly in STEM girly in STEM girly in STEM >> and I loved it. I was like obsessed. So, >> and I loved it. I was like obsessed. So, >> and I loved it. I was like obsessed. So, I was like, I'm going to be the I was like, I'm going to be the I was like, I'm going to be the best construction management um best construction management um best construction management um construction manager anyone's ever seen. construction manager anyone's ever seen. construction manager anyone's ever seen. Like, I'm going to trailblaze for women. Like, I'm going to trailblaze for women. Like, I'm going to trailblaze for women. All the things. Like, I had the vision. All the things. Like, I had the vision. All the things. Like, I had the vision. I had And I thought God wanted that for I had And I thought God wanted that for I had And I thought God wanted that for me. Like, I would walk around job sites me. Like, I would walk around job sites me. Like, I would walk around job sites and crane operators would be like, "Hey, and crane operators would be like, "Hey, and crane operators would be like, "Hey, come here." I'm like, "Oh my gosh."

come here." I'm like, "Oh my gosh." come here." I'm like, "Oh my gosh." Like, if you are a woman with a pink Like, if you are a woman with a pink Like, if you are a woman with a pink hard hat, I bedazzled mine walking hard hat, I bedazzled mine walking hard hat, I bedazzled mine walking around the job site. You did. [laughter] around the job site. You did. [laughter] around the job site. You did. [laughter] you get called for all kinds of reasons, you get called for all kinds of reasons, you get called for all kinds of reasons, but so I'm just like gh eye roll. And I but so I'm just like gh eye roll. And I but so I'm just like gh eye roll. And I walk up and he's like, "Hey, do you walk up and he's like, "Hey, do you walk up and he's like, "Hey, do you follow Jesus?" And I'm like, follow Jesus?" And I'm like, follow Jesus?" And I'm like, >> "Yeah, I do." And he's like, "I can tell >> "Yeah, I do." And he's like, "I can tell >> "Yeah, I do." And he's like, "I can tell just by the way you just by the way you just by the way you >> walk around job sites." And so that was >> walk around job sites." And so that was >> walk around job sites." And so that was like moments like that were so affirming like moments like that were so affirming like moments like that were so affirming of like I'm where I'm supposed to be. of like I'm where I'm supposed to be. of like I'm where I'm supposed to be. >> I'm doing like the mission that God >> I'm doing like the mission that God >> I'm doing like the mission that God called me to. And then I love to say God called me to. And then I love to say God called me to. And then I love to say God speaks to me in a few ways. And it's speaks to me in a few ways. And it's speaks to me in a few ways. And it's through scripture, through through scripture, through through scripture, through circumstances, and through people I I circumstances, and through people I I circumstances, and through people I I trust. trust. trust. >> Um, and that's like exactly what happens >> Um, and that's like exactly what happens >> Um, and that's like exactly what happens when he pivots me in my life is, okay, when he pivots me in my life is, okay, when he pivots me in my life is, okay, I'm reading scripture that's supporting I'm reading scripture that's supporting I'm reading scripture that's supporting things in my life. Like, okay, I'm not things in my life. Like, okay, I'm not things in my life. Like, okay, I'm not thriving in construction. Why? Because I thriving in construction. Why? Because I thriving in construction. Why? Because I was a year ago. Whatever. Oh, people in was a year ago. Whatever. Oh, people in was a year ago. Whatever. Oh, people in my circles are sending me job my circles are sending me job my circles are sending me job applications to come work in ministry at applications to come work in ministry at applications to come work in ministry at Crossroads like the same day that I'm Crossroads like the same day that I'm Crossroads like the same day that I'm having like a crisis of like am I doing having like a crisis of like am I doing having like a crisis of like am I doing what I'm supposed to?

what I'm supposed to? what I'm supposed to? >> And then the >> And then the >> And then the >> jobs just open up. You know, this was >> jobs just open up. You know, this was >> jobs just open up. You know, this was like months before co so it was so crazy like months before co so it was so crazy like months before co so it was so crazy that I started working full-time that I started working full-time that I started working full-time ministry right before people weren't ministry right before people weren't ministry right before people weren't hiring at all. hiring at all. hiring at all. >> Um and so I just love that. I love how >> Um and so I just love that. I love how >> Um and so I just love that. I love how God like will turn you, but he makes the God like will turn you, but he makes the God like will turn you, but he makes the path right. Like path right. Like path right. Like >> the sheep from Saul probably were found >> the sheep from Saul probably were found >> the sheep from Saul probably were found like I don't know. I like to think that like I don't know. I like to think that like I don't know. I like to think that they were just found right away and he's they were just found right away and he's they were just found right away and he's just wandering around like let's go see just wandering around like let's go see just wandering around like let's go see this like dude. And you're like why? You this like dude. And you're like why? You this like dude. And you're like why? You don't know him. But um yeah, God's cool don't know him. But um yeah, God's cool don't know him. But um yeah, God's cool like that. So like that. So like that. So >> yeah, >> yeah, >> yeah, >> it's fun. >> it's fun. >> it's fun. >> Yeah, that's great. Uh Mo, just I know >> Yeah, that's great. Uh Mo, just I know >> Yeah, that's great. Uh Mo, just I know you. I know a little part of your story you. I know a little part of your story you. I know a little part of your story um spent some time in prison. um spent some time in prison. um spent some time in prison. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Are there is that is feeling qualified >> Are there is that is feeling qualified >> Are there is that is feeling qualified for what you're doing now. Is that for what you're doing now. Is that for what you're doing now. Is that something that you had to wrestle with something that you had to wrestle with something that you had to wrestle with coming out of prison? coming out of prison? coming out of prison? >> Oh, absolutely. Um in a number of ways. >> Oh, absolutely. Um in a number of ways. >> Oh, absolutely. Um in a number of ways. Like that would be Yeah, in a number of Like that would be Yeah, in a number of Like that would be Yeah, in a number of ways, but I think particularly for the ways, but I think particularly for the ways, but I think particularly for the role that I'm in now, um I I literally role that I'm in now, um I I literally role that I'm in now, um I I literally when it was first presented to me, I when it was first presented to me, I when it was first presented to me, I went down a list in my head of people went down a list in my head of people went down a list in my head of people who I thought would be more qualified who I thought would be more qualified who I thought would be more qualified for this. like God maybe and I almost for this. like God maybe and I almost for this. like God maybe and I almost text Grant back and say hey text Grant back and say hey text Grant back and say hey >> if you want you know if you decide you >> if you want you know if you decide you >> if you want you know if you decide you know between now and then the next time know between now and then the next time know between now and then the next time we're supposed to connect that you know we're supposed to connect that you know we're supposed to connect that you know maybe you should go in another direction maybe you should go in another direction maybe you should go in another direction like don't don't feel like you have to like don't don't feel like you have to like don't don't feel like you have to be obligated to me like be obligated to me like be obligated to me like >> for people who don't know what do you do >> for people who don't know what do you do >> for people who don't know what do you do now now now >> I lead the prison ministry >> I lead the prison ministry >> I lead the prison ministry >> yeah at the um at our church and it yeah

>> yeah at the um at our church and it yeah >> yeah at the um at our church and it yeah dealing with feeling unqualified and dealing with feeling unqualified and dealing with feeling unqualified and that and and I still do it still hits me that and and I still do it still hits me that and and I still do it still hits me I remember coming on staff before coming I remember coming on staff before coming I remember coming on staff before coming on staff Um Chuck told me he said that on staff Um Chuck told me he said that on staff Um Chuck told me he said that um he said when you come on staff you're um he said when you come on staff you're um he said when you come on staff you're going to have a moment where that's going to have a moment where that's going to have a moment where that's actually you're going to feel like um actually you're going to feel like um actually you're going to feel like um imposter syndrome imposter syndrome imposter syndrome that's what it was and he's like and I that's what it was and he's like and I that's what it was and he's like and I want you to know that that's absolutely want you to know that that's absolutely want you to know that that's absolutely normal normal normal >> and I'm like oh yeah sure okay cool yeah >> and I'm like oh yeah sure okay cool yeah >> and I'm like oh yeah sure okay cool yeah that'll be you know that'll be you know that'll be you know >> but then I didn't I wasn't prepared for >> but then I didn't I wasn't prepared for >> but then I didn't I wasn't prepared for exactly what that would feel like exactly what that would feel like exactly what that would feel like >> and all of this joy that I had initially >> and all of this joy that I had initially >> and all of this joy that I had initially coming on staff and I was just excited coming on staff and I was just excited coming on staff and I was just excited around February towards the end of around February towards the end of around February towards the end of January ruary, February, that started to January ruary, February, that started to January ruary, February, that started to shift and I felt so unqualified in every shift and I felt so unqualified in every shift and I felt so unqualified in every room I would walk in. I would almost room I would walk in. I would almost room I would walk in. I would almost like feel like I need to preface like, like feel like I need to preface like, like feel like I need to preface like, "Hey, I'm the I'm the least qualified in "Hey, I'm the I'm the least qualified in "Hey, I'm the I'm the least qualified in this room, so have grace." Like, I was this room, so have grace." Like, I was this room, so have grace." Like, I was just always like that in and I was so just always like that in and I was so just always like that in and I was so unsure of my footing. unsure of my footing. unsure of my footing. >> And I would go home and I'm like, "Why >> And I would go home and I'm like, "Why >> And I would go home and I'm like, "Why did you even say that earlier?" Like, did you even say that earlier?" Like, did you even say that earlier?" Like, "What is what is this? What are you "What is what is this? What are you "What is what is this? What are you feeling?" feeling?" feeling?" >> And and I I wasn't shy about it. Like, I >> And and I I wasn't shy about it. Like, I >> And and I I wasn't shy about it. Like, I would share with people like, "I'm would share with people like, "I'm would share with people like, "I'm struggling right now." Yeah.

struggling right now." Yeah. struggling right now." Yeah. >> And um I was on a trip in Guatemala and >> And um I was on a trip in Guatemala and >> And um I was on a trip in Guatemala and I was talking to one of the guys there. I was talking to one of the guys there. I was talking to one of the guys there. Um and he was just like, "Hey, I'm so Um and he was just like, "Hey, I'm so Um and he was just like, "Hey, I'm so excited about what you're doing um with excited about what you're doing um with excited about what you're doing um with prison ministry." Cuz I was sharing with prison ministry." Cuz I was sharing with prison ministry." Cuz I was sharing with him some of the vision I had. And wasn't him some of the vision I had. And wasn't him some of the vision I had. And wasn't super confident in the vision, but I'm super confident in the vision, but I'm super confident in the vision, but I'm like, "This is what I've got." I mean, like, "This is what I've got." I mean, like, "This is what I've got." I mean, I'm a month in, right? You know, and he I'm a month in, right? You know, and he I'm a month in, right? You know, and he was like, "Man, I just think God is was like, "Man, I just think God is was like, "Man, I just think God is going to do some really good things, going to do some really good things, going to do some really good things, man. I'm so excited. I can't wait to man. I'm so excited. I can't wait to man. I'm so excited. I can't wait to hear more about it, and I'd love to hear more about it, and I'd love to hear more about it, and I'd love to partner with you." And I'm like, "Man, partner with you." And I'm like, "Man, partner with you." And I'm like, "Man, that's that's that's >> I'm like, "Thank you for saying that." >> I'm like, "Thank you for saying that." >> I'm like, "Thank you for saying that." I'm like cuz right now I'm struggling I'm like cuz right now I'm struggling I'm like cuz right now I'm struggling >> and he was you know like and I kind of >> and he was you know like and I kind of >> and he was you know like and I kind of shared with him why. He was like man I'm shared with him why. He was like man I'm shared with him why. He was like man I'm sorry that you feel like that. sorry that you feel like that. sorry that you feel like that. >> And then he said >> And then he said >> And then he said >> you work with some really smart people >> you work with some really smart people >> you work with some really smart people and I said I know [laughter] and I said I know [laughter] and I said I know [laughter] that's that's part of why I'm feeling that's that's part of why I'm feeling that's that's part of why I'm feeling right so bad. right so bad. right so bad. >> He said and they believe in you. >> He said and they believe in you. >> He said and they believe in you. >> That's right. >> That's right. >> That's right. >> Wow. And that right there, it was like >> Wow. And that right there, it was like >> Wow. And that right there, it was like God was saying, "Okay, to me, if I can't God was saying, "Okay, to me, if I can't God was saying, "Okay, to me, if I can't wrestle you from this perspective of how wrestle you from this perspective of how wrestle you from this perspective of how everyone is elevated in your mind, I'll everyone is elevated in your mind, I'll everyone is elevated in your mind, I'll just use it.

just use it. just use it. >> The way that you feel about everyone >> The way that you feel about everyone >> The way that you feel about everyone around you, they believe in you." around you, they believe in you." around you, they believe in you." >> Yep. >> Yep. >> Yep. >> And that was just like >> And that was just like >> And that was just like >> air in my tire. And I'm like, "Oh, >> air in my tire. And I'm like, "Oh, >> air in my tire. And I'm like, "Oh, >> right." You know what I mean? And it was >> right." You know what I mean? And it was >> right." You know what I mean? And it was just a moment where I just a moment where I just a moment where I >> and you know, felt like, "Okay, I can >> and you know, felt like, "Okay, I can >> and you know, felt like, "Okay, I can get back up on a horse." And since then, get back up on a horse." And since then, get back up on a horse." And since then, like I still have those moments, but like I still have those moments, but like I still have those moments, but there's always just these deposits and there's always just these deposits and there's always just these deposits and the people that I work around that just the people that I work around that just the people that I work around that just lift me up and just pour into me lift me up and just pour into me lift me up and just pour into me throughout the journey that just keeps throughout the journey that just keeps throughout the journey that just keeps me, me, me, >> you know, reminded that, you know what, >> you know, reminded that, you know what, >> you know, reminded that, you know what, God, yes, you called me to this and God, yes, you called me to this and God, yes, you called me to this and >> you didn't call me to >> you didn't call me to >> you didn't call me to >> carry all of this on my own. Like, >> carry all of this on my own. Like, >> carry all of this on my own. Like, you've surrounded me with some you've surrounded me with some you've surrounded me with some incredible people to help me carry this incredible people to help me carry this incredible people to help me carry this vision. So, that's right. That's vision. So, that's right. That's vision. So, that's right. That's awesome. Thanks for sharing. awesome. Thanks for sharing. awesome. Thanks for sharing. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. So, I don't know where you find >> Yeah. So, I don't know where you find >> Yeah. So, I don't know where you find yourself today. There's there's a couple yourself today. There's there's a couple yourself today. There's there's a couple of a couple of places you could be. of a couple of places you could be. of a couple of places you could be. Maybe um you feel like God's calling you Maybe um you feel like God's calling you Maybe um you feel like God's calling you to pivot and you need to say yes to the to pivot and you need to say yes to the to pivot and you need to say yes to the pivot. You were going one direction and pivot. You were going one direction and pivot. You were going one direction and maybe it was a good direction. You were maybe it was a good direction. You were maybe it was a good direction. You were going to be the girl in construction. going to be the girl in construction. going to be the girl in construction. That's fantastic. But maybe God's asking That's fantastic. But maybe God's asking That's fantastic. But maybe God's asking you to go a different way. That's just you to go a different way. That's just you to go a different way. That's just better. Not bad. The the old one's not better. Not bad. The the old one's not better. Not bad. The the old one's not bad. It's just the new ways better. Make bad. It's just the new ways better. Make bad. It's just the new ways better. Make the pivot. Maybe you need to lean into the pivot. Maybe you need to lean into the pivot. Maybe you need to lean into where you feel most unqualified and ask where you feel most unqualified and ask where you feel most unqualified and ask God to speak the truth about you because God to speak the truth about you because God to speak the truth about you because your past doesn't disqualify you. God your past doesn't disqualify you. God your past doesn't disqualify you. God has you exactly where he wants you to has you exactly where he wants you to has you exactly where he wants you to be. Maybe you need to ask some people be. Maybe you need to ask some people be. Maybe you need to ask some people who surround you for some feedback. That who surround you for some feedback. That who surround you for some feedback. That was my story. I felt like an impostor. I was my story. I felt like an impostor. I was my story. I felt like an impostor. I had to learn to ask the people around had to learn to ask the people around had to learn to ask the people around me. Is this true or not? And they said, me. Is this true or not? And they said, me. Is this true or not? And they said, "Heck no, that's not true."

"Heck no, that's not true." "Heck no, that's not true." >> Ask the people the questions. Get the >> Ask the people the questions. Get the >> Ask the people the questions. Get the feedback that you need. You're in the feedback that you need. You're in the feedback that you need. You're in the right place. God's doing something in right place. God's doing something in right place. God's doing something in your life. your life. your life. >> We'll see you next time. [music]