Stop Trying to Earn God’s Love | Romans 5

It's funny. I don't I don't think of a It's funny. I don't I don't think of a word or words when I think about peace word or words when I think about peace word or words when I think about peace with God. I think of a sound. [laughter] with God. I think of a sound. [laughter] with God. I think of a sound. [laughter] >> Tell us more. >> Tell us more. >> Tell us more. [sighs] [sighs] [sighs] [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> It's that like it's it's that thing and >> It's that like it's it's that thing and >> It's that like it's it's that thing and and it's it's kind of what you said. and it's it's kind of what you said. and it's it's kind of what you said. It's union It's union It's union >> that I I live in a constant union with >> that I I live in a constant union with >> that I I live in a constant union with God that I didn't earn God that I didn't earn God that I didn't earn >> and but can never lose. >> and but can never lose. >> and but can never lose. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I mean, maybe I'm not the only person. I >> I mean, maybe I'm not the only person. I >> I mean, maybe I'm not the only person. I feel in some ways it takes a little bit feel in some ways it takes a little bit feel in some ways it takes a little bit of difficulty and suffering for me to of difficulty and suffering for me to of difficulty and suffering for me to that's probably where I experience it that's probably where I experience it that's probably where I experience it the most. Like I wish I could say like the most. Like I wish I could say like the most. Like I wish I could say like it's when things are going great. Like it's when things are going great. Like it's when things are going great. Like you know there's times when things are you know there's times when things are you know there's times when things are going great and I feel union with God. going great and I feel union with God. going great and I feel union with God. But But But >> but man, I think I've learned like >> but man, I think I've learned like >> but man, I think I've learned like there's something about hardship and there's something about hardship and there's something about hardship and difficulty that I experience union with difficulty that I experience union with difficulty that I experience union with God. God. God. >> This is the Crossroads Daily. No >> This is the Crossroads Daily. No >> This is the Crossroads Daily. No experts, no perfect [music] people, just experts, no perfect [music] people, just experts, no perfect [music] people, just honest conversations about what happens honest conversations about what happens honest conversations about what happens when the Bible shows up in real life. I'm Chuck.

I'm Chuck. >> I'm Caroline. [music] >> I'm Caroline. [music] >> I'm Caroline. [music] >> I'm Peter. >> I'm Peter. >> I'm Peter. >> I'm Chris. >> I'm Chris. >> I'm Chris. >> Romans 5. Man, we are working our way >> Romans 5. Man, we are working our way >> Romans 5. Man, we are working our way through. Romans is dense, by the way. through. Romans is dense, by the way. through. Romans is dense, by the way. [laughter] If you're reading every day [laughter] If you're reading every day [laughter] If you're reading every day and you're like, "Dang, there's a lot." and you're like, "Dang, there's a lot." and you're like, "Dang, there's a lot." Yes, there's a lot here. Yes, there's a lot here. Yes, there's a lot here. >> This chapter has a lot of things. If >> This chapter has a lot of things. If >> This chapter has a lot of things. If you've been around Crossroads and you you've been around Crossroads and you you've been around Crossroads and you did the run journey, you're like, "Oh, I did the run journey, you're like, "Oh, I did the run journey, you're like, "Oh, I remember those words. Suffering produces remember those words. Suffering produces remember those words. Suffering produces character." Character. Yeah, I remember character." Character. Yeah, I remember character." Character. Yeah, I remember those word. There's a lot here. Um, I those word. There's a lot here. Um, I those word. There's a lot here. Um, I just want to start with again there's just want to start with again there's just want to start with again there's such good news. You know, he says we such good news. You know, he says we such good news. You know, he says we have peace with God. have peace with God. have peace with God. >> I think it's interesting. He doesn't say >> I think it's interesting. He doesn't say >> I think it's interesting. He doesn't say in this place he doesn't say we have in this place he doesn't say we have in this place he doesn't say we have peace in God. peace in God. peace in God. >> He doesn't say we have peace because of >> He doesn't say we have peace because of >> He doesn't say we have peace because of God. It's a relational peace, right? God. It's a relational peace, right? God. It's a relational peace, right? Peace with God. What does that mean to Peace with God. What does that mean to Peace with God. What does that mean to you to know that through Jesus you have you to know that through Jesus you have you to know that through Jesus you have peace with God? I think for me it's that peace with God? I think for me it's that peace with God? I think for me it's that like it's not up to me like okay he died like it's not up to me like okay he died like it's not up to me like okay he died once but now or I got saved once and now once but now or I got saved once and now once but now or I got saved once and now I got to now it's my turn [laughter] I got to now it's my turn [laughter] I got to now it's my turn [laughter] like I carry it the rest of the way like like I carry it the rest of the way like like I carry it the rest of the way like it is uh it is uh it is uh >> it's freeing to know that >> it's freeing to know that >> it's freeing to know that his grace and truth is not contingent his grace and truth is not contingent his grace and truth is not contingent upon my belief of his grace and truth.

upon my belief of his grace and truth. upon my belief of his grace and truth. Um and so often peace with God for me Um and so often peace with God for me Um and so often peace with God for me looks like okay have I not messed up looks like okay have I not messed up looks like okay have I not messed up that much lately and have I been pretty that much lately and have I been pretty that much lately and have I been pretty good lately? Okay, then I have peace good lately? Okay, then I have peace good lately? Okay, then I have peace with God. And what I feel like I've with God. And what I feel like I've with God. And what I feel like I've tried to grow into over the last few tried to grow into over the last few tried to grow into over the last few years is understanding like it does I years is understanding like it does I years is understanding like it does I could be at the bottom of the pit or could be at the bottom of the pit or could be at the bottom of the pit or like on the mountain top. I'm good with like on the mountain top. I'm good with like on the mountain top. I'm good with God because he said I was, not because God because he said I was, not because God because he said I was, not because I'm in a good season right now or I've I'm in a good season right now or I've I'm in a good season right now or I've cut back on this thing or I've been cut back on this thing or I've been cut back on this thing or I've been reading more. It's like reading more. It's like reading more. It's like >> uh because that is it's so flaky and >> uh because that is it's so flaky and >> uh because that is it's so flaky and temporary. And then the second you mess temporary. And then the second you mess temporary. And then the second you mess up with anything then you don't have up with anything then you don't have up with anything then you don't have peace anymore. peace anymore. peace anymore. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But like if it's contingent upon >> But like if it's contingent upon >> But like if it's contingent upon >> what God says about me then it's like >> what God says about me then it's like >> what God says about me then it's like then I'm I'm chilling. then I'm I'm chilling. then I'm I'm chilling. >> Yeah. I love that. I think the word that >> Yeah. I love that. I think the word that >> Yeah. I love that. I think the word that keeps running through my head is safety. keeps running through my head is safety. keeps running through my head is safety. It means It means It means >> I can always come to God and that it's a >> I can always come to God and that it's a >> I can always come to God and that it's a safe place. safe place. safe place. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And in the midst of so much of my life, >> And in the midst of so much of my life, >> And in the midst of so much of my life, I feel like so often I feel like I'm at I feel like so often I feel like I'm at I feel like so often I feel like I'm at war. war. war. >> Even if that war is with myself. >> Even if that war is with myself. >> Even if that war is with myself. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Either I'm at war with myself, I'm at >> Either I'm at war with myself, I'm at >> Either I'm at war with myself, I'm at war with my desires, my sin, I'm at war war with my desires, my sin, I'm at war war with my desires, my sin, I'm at war with with with >> circumstances, I'm at war with other >> circumstances, I'm at war with other >> circumstances, I'm at war with other people. and and and not only can I go to people. and and and not only can I go to people. and and and not only can I go to him to experience peace, to be at peace, him to experience peace, to be at peace, him to experience peace, to be at peace, to be safe, but then that gives me peace to be safe, but then that gives me peace to be safe, but then that gives me peace then bring to those other contexts, then bring to those other contexts, then bring to those other contexts, those other places.

those other places. those other places. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And >> And >> And >> and so when I'm at my best, I'm >> and so when I'm at my best, I'm >> and so when I'm at my best, I'm continually going back and reentering continually going back and reentering continually going back and reentering with that and experiencing that peace. with that and experiencing that peace. with that and experiencing that peace. So then because cuz my peace fades so So then because cuz my peace fades so So then because cuz my peace fades so quickly. It's like almost like a maybe quickly. It's like almost like a maybe quickly. It's like almost like a maybe maybe I'm there's a moment but then like maybe I'm there's a moment but then like maybe I'm there's a moment but then like enough things happen throughout my day enough things happen throughout my day enough things happen throughout my day and I'm no longer at peace. It's and I'm no longer at peace. It's and I'm no longer at peace. It's [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> right. But knowing that I can go back >> right. But knowing that I can go back >> right. But knowing that I can go back that that God is not going to meet me that that God is not going to meet me that that God is not going to meet me and it's not another battle. It's not and it's not another battle. It's not and it's not another battle. It's not another argument. It's not another another argument. It's not another another argument. It's not another whatever, right? It's whatever, right? It's whatever, right? It's >> oh like you're my child, you're my son. >> oh like you're my child, you're my son. >> oh like you're my child, you're my son. >> That's good, man. >> That's good, man. >> That's good, man. >> Sit at my table. >> Sit at my table. >> Sit at my table. >> That's good. >> That's good. >> That's good. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I think for me it is operating >> I think for me it is operating >> I think for me it is operating in the belief that God actually loves in the belief that God actually loves in the belief that God actually loves me. like and that seems so small, but if me. like and that seems so small, but if me. like and that seems so small, but if I'm thinking about being at peace with I'm thinking about being at peace with I'm thinking about being at peace with God, it's remembering I am loved by God God, it's remembering I am loved by God God, it's remembering I am loved by God and therefore he is with me and working and therefore he is with me and working and therefore he is with me and working on the same team as me in many things. on the same team as me in many things. on the same team as me in many things. Like Like Like >> I'm not striving so that he thinks I'm >> I'm not striving so that he thinks I'm >> I'm not striving so that he thinks I'm good. It's believing that good. It's believing that good. It's believing that >> we're good and he wants to do something >> we're good and he wants to do something >> we're good and he wants to do something with me. He wants to do my day with me.

with me. He wants to do my day with me. with me. He wants to do my day with me. He wants to parent my children with me. He wants to parent my children with me. He wants to parent my children with me. He wants to do my job with me. It's not He wants to do my job with me. It's not He wants to do my job with me. It's not something that I'm doing to reach him, something that I'm doing to reach him, something that I'm doing to reach him, but actually just this belief that I'm but actually just this belief that I'm but actually just this belief that I'm loved and he's with me. And that's what loved and he's with me. And that's what loved and he's with me. And that's what being at peace with God feels like to being at peace with God feels like to being at peace with God feels like to me. me. me. >> I I love it. I love it. It's funny. I >> I I love it. I love it. It's funny. I >> I I love it. I love it. It's funny. I don't I don't think of a word or words don't I don't think of a word or words don't I don't think of a word or words when I think about peace with God. I when I think about peace with God. I when I think about peace with God. I think of a sound. think of a sound. think of a sound. >> Tell us more. [sighs] >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> It's that like it's it's that thing. And >> It's that like it's it's that thing. And >> It's that like it's it's that thing. And and it's it's kind of what you said. is and it's it's kind of what you said. is and it's it's kind of what you said. is union union union >> that I I live in a constant union with >> that I I live in a constant union with >> that I I live in a constant union with God that I didn't earn and but can never God that I didn't earn and but can never God that I didn't earn and but can never lose. lose. lose. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And that doesn't mean I'm aware of that >> And that doesn't mean I'm aware of that >> And that doesn't mean I'm aware of that union all the time, but when I am, union all the time, but when I am, union all the time, but when I am, that's that peace with God. Like that's that's that peace with God. Like that's that's that peace with God. Like that's >> that's that sweet spot when it's like >> that's that sweet spot when it's like >> that's that sweet spot when it's like I'm aware that and that can happen. It's I'm aware that and that can happen. It's I'm aware that and that can happen. It's funny that funny that funny that >> I mean maybe I'm not the only person. I >> I mean maybe I'm not the only person. I >> I mean maybe I'm not the only person. I feel in some ways it takes a little bit feel in some ways it takes a little bit feel in some ways it takes a little bit of difficulty and suffering for me to of difficulty and suffering for me to of difficulty and suffering for me to that's probably where I experience it that's probably where I experience it that's probably where I experience it the most. Like I wish I could say like the most. Like I wish I could say like the most. Like I wish I could say like it's when things are going great like it's when things are going great like it's when things are going great like you know there's times when things are you know there's times when things are you know there's times when things are going great and I feel union with God going great and I feel union with God going great and I feel union with God but but but >> but man I think I've learned like >> but man I think I've learned like >> but man I think I've learned like there's something about hardship and there's something about hardship and there's something about hardship and difficulty that I experience union with difficulty that I experience union with difficulty that I experience union with God.

God. God. >> So true. >> So true. >> So true. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That sign made me think too about just >> That sign made me think too about just >> That sign made me think too about just being yourself being yourself being yourself >> with God. It's like >> with God. It's like >> with God. It's like >> like whatever things I was masks I was >> like whatever things I was masks I was >> like whatever things I was masks I was wearing things I was doing like oh yeah wearing things I was doing like oh yeah wearing things I was doing like oh yeah I can just drop all that at the door. I can just drop all that at the door. I can just drop all that at the door. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You know >> You know >> You know >> he just wants me. >> he just wants me. >> he just wants me. >> Mhm. He just wants you as you are, >> Mhm. He just wants you as you are, >> Mhm. He just wants you as you are, right? right? right? >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Yeah. So that's the ideal. And when we >> Yeah. So that's the ideal. And when we >> Yeah. So that's the ideal. And when we can experience that, it's wonderful. And can experience that, it's wonderful. And can experience that, it's wonderful. And we also struggle to believe that, right? we also struggle to believe that, right? we also struggle to believe that, right? >> It's a struggle sometimes to believe >> It's a struggle sometimes to believe >> It's a struggle sometimes to believe that God's grace is for you. So I wonder that God's grace is for you. So I wonder that God's grace is for you. So I wonder if you think of a time when it was hard if you think of a time when it was hard if you think of a time when it was hard for you to receive God's grace. And for you to receive God's grace. And for you to receive God's grace. And actually, what did that produce in you actually, what did that produce in you actually, what did that produce in you that was good on the other side of that that was good on the other side of that that was good on the other side of that wrestle? Like if because we've all wrestle? Like if because we've all wrestle? Like if because we've all wrestled with that. Any any particular wrestled with that. Any any particular wrestled with that. Any any particular examples come to mind? examples come to mind? examples come to mind? I think I'm like combing through my I think I'm like combing through my I think I'm like combing through my brain right now with that question like brain right now with that question like brain right now with that question like when are times that I really struggled when are times that I really struggled when are times that I really struggled or I had this sin struggle that I or I had this sin struggle that I or I had this sin struggle that I overcame. overcame. overcame. But I think one of the times that it was But I think one of the times that it was But I think one of the times that it was most profound for me was actually when I most profound for me was actually when I most profound for me was actually when I was walking through grief was walking through grief was walking through grief >> and I was grieving the loss of someone >> and I was grieving the loss of someone >> and I was grieving the loss of someone very close to our family who was young.

very close to our family who was young. very close to our family who was young. It was tragic. Um and It was tragic. Um and It was tragic. Um and I was like so hands up to God's grace. I I was like so hands up to God's grace. I I was like so hands up to God's grace. I was bitter. I was, you know, devastated. was bitter. I was, you know, devastated. was bitter. I was, you know, devastated. I, um, was confused about why he would I, um, was confused about why he would I, um, was confused about why he would let something like that happen. Um, and let something like that happen. Um, and let something like that happen. Um, and so I wasn't in a place of receiving his so I wasn't in a place of receiving his so I wasn't in a place of receiving his grace. And then on the other side of grace. And then on the other side of grace. And then on the other side of that, there's also this part of me that, there's also this part of me that, there's also this part of me that's like guilty, right? That I got to that's like guilty, right? That I got to that's like guilty, right? That I got to still be here. And I think that's still be here. And I think that's still be here. And I think that's something in a grief journey that a lot something in a grief journey that a lot something in a grief journey that a lot of people don't always talk about, but of people don't always talk about, but of people don't always talk about, but you're like, why do I get to be here and you're like, why do I get to be here and you're like, why do I get to be here and this person doesn't? And I finally was this person doesn't? And I finally was this person doesn't? And I finally was able and I I wish I could like tell you able and I I wish I could like tell you able and I I wish I could like tell you like there was a moment like there was a moment like there was a moment >> where I where I just felt it and was >> where I where I just felt it and was >> where I where I just felt it and was able to accept it. able to accept it. able to accept it. >> But somehow I got to a place and grief >> But somehow I got to a place and grief >> But somehow I got to a place and grief makes things hazy sometimes I feel like. makes things hazy sometimes I feel like. makes things hazy sometimes I feel like. But I got to a place where I was But I got to a place where I was But I got to a place where I was actually able to be like, "God, you're actually able to be like, "God, you're actually able to be like, "God, you're still good." Like and you still got me still good." Like and you still got me still good." Like and you still got me and actually you've got her too. and all and actually you've got her too. and all and actually you've got her too. and all of these things that I was just like of these things that I was just like of these things that I was just like feeling were so out of control when I feeling were so out of control when I feeling were so out of control when I was able to finally surrender was able to finally surrender was able to finally surrender and feel uh that actually that that pain and feel uh that actually that that pain and feel uh that actually that that pain and that suffering um drew me nearer to and that suffering um drew me nearer to and that suffering um drew me nearer to God instead of pushing him away.

God instead of pushing him away. God instead of pushing him away. >> But that wasn't easy. Receiving God's >> But that wasn't easy. Receiving God's >> But that wasn't easy. Receiving God's grace, grace, grace, whether it's sin or grief or wherever it whether it's sin or grief or wherever it whether it's sin or grief or wherever it is that you need it in a moment, is that you need it in a moment, is that you need it in a moment, >> sounds nice on paper, but I think often >> sounds nice on paper, but I think often >> sounds nice on paper, but I think often times can be a really uh challenging times can be a really uh challenging times can be a really uh challenging thing to actually receive. thing to actually receive. thing to actually receive. >> Totally. >> Totally. >> Totally. >> Because totally >> Because totally >> Because totally >> he's always giving it, but we have to be >> he's always giving it, but we have to be >> he's always giving it, but we have to be open to it, right? We have free will. We open to it, right? We have free will. We open to it, right? We have free will. We can say no. can say no. can say no. >> That's right. That's right. We can >> That's right. That's right. We can >> That's right. That's right. We can >> to say no. God, I need it. Thank you. >> to say no. God, I need it. Thank you. >> to say no. God, I need it. Thank you. Um, yeah, that's when I finally hit that Um, yeah, that's when I finally hit that Um, yeah, that's when I finally hit that like, huh? But grief is the one that like, huh? But grief is the one that like, huh? But grief is the one that comes to mind for me. comes to mind for me. comes to mind for me. >> Thanks for sharing that, though. I I >> Thanks for sharing that, though. I I >> Thanks for sharing that, though. I I think think think >> that's one grief is one of those things >> that's one grief is one of those things >> that's one grief is one of those things that I I don't think we contextualize that I I don't think we contextualize that I I don't think we contextualize enough even though we all experience it. enough even though we all experience it. enough even though we all experience it. >> I think the way you talked about that in >> I think the way you talked about that in >> I think the way you talked about that in terms of your relationship with God and terms of your relationship with God and terms of your relationship with God and the wrestle is really really healthy and the wrestle is really really healthy and the wrestle is really really healthy and helpful. Um, helpful. Um, helpful. Um, >> didn't feel it didn't feel never >> didn't feel it didn't feel never >> didn't feel it didn't feel never [laughter] Well, I love what you said. [laughter] Well, I love what you said. [laughter] Well, I love what you said. It feels hazy, right? It's like you're It feels hazy, right? It's like you're It feels hazy, right? It's like you're in a fog in a fog in a fog >> and then at some point I don't know if >> and then at some point I don't know if >> and then at some point I don't know if you ever come fully out of the fog of you ever come fully out of the fog of you ever come fully out of the fog of grief but you certainly get the clouds grief but you certainly get the clouds grief but you certainly get the clouds clear and you're like oh I got a little clear and you're like oh I got a little clear and you're like oh I got a little bit of perspective bit of perspective bit of perspective >> and I can walk keep walking. So thanks >> and I can walk keep walking. So thanks >> and I can walk keep walking. So thanks for sharing that. That's a really for sharing that. That's a really for sharing that. That's a really >> powerful example.

>> powerful example. >> powerful example. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I feel like I wrestle where I believe >> I feel like I wrestle where I believe >> I feel like I wrestle where I believe that that that >> uh this is a lifelong process of being >> uh this is a lifelong process of being >> uh this is a lifelong process of being made to look more like Jesus and that made to look more like Jesus and that made to look more like Jesus and that he's carrying me on to the day of he's carrying me on to the day of he's carrying me on to the day of completion like it says in Philippians. completion like it says in Philippians. completion like it says in Philippians. And I really do often I'm like it is a I And I really do often I'm like it is a I And I really do often I'm like it is a I should arrive with all these areas of my should arrive with all these areas of my should arrive with all these areas of my life and be here cuz in the second I life and be here cuz in the second I life and be here cuz in the second I mess up. I'm like I'm I just will mess up. I'm like I'm I just will mess up. I'm like I'm I just will spiral. And uh literally the other day spiral. And uh literally the other day spiral. And uh literally the other day like there was my wife and I there was a like there was my wife and I there was a like there was my wife and I there was a miscommunication with our schedule and I miscommunication with our schedule and I miscommunication with our schedule and I was really short with her and then left was really short with her and then left was really short with her and then left and I was with a buddy and then like and I was with a buddy and then like and I was with a buddy and then like right when there I'm just like I was a right when there I'm just like I was a right when there I'm just like I was a jerk and I was an idiot there. Like in jerk and I was an idiot there. Like in jerk and I was an idiot there. Like in the past I've seen I would spiral the past I've seen I would spiral the past I've seen I would spiral that' probably make me be more mean when that' probably make me be more mean when that' probably make me be more mean when I got home but then I was just able to I got home but then I was just able to I got home but then I was just able to be like this is a process you know got be like this is a process you know got be like this is a process you know got to come home and look her in the eye and to come home and look her in the eye and to come home and look her in the eye and like own where I had wronged her and like own where I had wronged her and like own where I had wronged her and like and then you move on and you're like and then you move on and you're like and then you move on and you're like oh okay it's like oh okay it's like oh okay it's >> life goes on like while we were still >> life goes on like while we were still >> life goes on like while we were still sinners Christ died for us. I love that sinners Christ died for us. I love that sinners Christ died for us. I love that Paul adds that in like Paul adds that in like Paul adds that in like >> because he's like you're still sinners >> because he's like you're still sinners >> because he's like you're still sinners and then you were so like God died when and then you were so like God died when and then you were so like God died when it's happening not before it happens or it's happening not before it happens or it's happening not before it happens or anything like that.

anything like that. anything like that. >> Yeah. Well, when you were just talking >> Yeah. Well, when you were just talking >> Yeah. Well, when you were just talking about, you know, hearing your wife say, about, you know, hearing your wife say, about, you know, hearing your wife say, "I forgive you, too." Like, I think "I forgive you, too." Like, I think "I forgive you, too." Like, I think again, it goes back to that confession again, it goes back to that confession again, it goes back to that confession and repentance process. Like, you get to and repentance process. Like, you get to and repentance process. Like, you get to know God so much better through know God so much better through know God so much better through community of believers. When you get to community of believers. When you get to community of believers. When you get to experience someone looking you in the experience someone looking you in the experience someone looking you in the eyes and saying, "I forgive you and I eyes and saying, "I forgive you and I eyes and saying, "I forgive you and I love you still." love you still." love you still." >> Like, >> Like, >> Like, >> that is >> that is >> that is >> God's grace working through us, too. >> God's grace working through us, too. >> God's grace working through us, too. Which is a really beautiful thing. And I Which is a really beautiful thing. And I Which is a really beautiful thing. And I I know that every time I take a step I know that every time I take a step I know that every time I take a step like that, I'm I'm like, "Oh, I like that, I'm I'm like, "Oh, I like that, I'm I'm like, "Oh, I understand God better." understand God better." understand God better." >> You know, >> You know, >> You know, >> 100%. >> 100%. >> 100%. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I mean, that's really in a way, I mean, >> I mean, that's really in a way, I mean, >> I mean, that's really in a way, I mean, my story that came to mind was a my story that came to mind was a my story that came to mind was a situation where I didn't have that situation where I didn't have that situation where I didn't have that community yet. It was my first years of community yet. It was my first years of community yet. It was my first years of college when I had right before I left college when I had right before I left college when I had right before I left for college, I just really decided to um for college, I just really decided to um for college, I just really decided to um pursue God personally or relationally pursue God personally or relationally pursue God personally or relationally like that that had happened. But then I like that that had happened. But then I like that that had happened. But then I go get to college and I have no go get to college and I have no go get to college and I have no community there. I'm completely community there. I'm completely community there. I'm completely uprooted. like took me a long time to uprooted. like took me a long time to uprooted. like took me a long time to find you know I eventually found find you know I eventually found find you know I eventually found crossroads had a site at my campus crossroads had a site at my campus crossroads had a site at my campus eventually at that time eventually at that time eventually at that time >> and I found a crossroads but that took >> and I found a crossroads but that took >> and I found a crossroads but that took till like junior year you know I'm till like junior year you know I'm till like junior year you know I'm trying to find community I'm trying to trying to find community I'm trying to trying to find community I'm trying to find belonging I'm trying to and I you find belonging I'm trying to and I you find belonging I'm trying to and I you know I found some some friends but none know I found some some friends but none know I found some some friends but none of them were believers none of them were of them were believers none of them were of them were believers none of them were reflecting God back to me none of them reflecting God back to me none of them reflecting God back to me none of them were loving me were loving me were loving me >> in that way and so it was a lot of just >> in that way and so it was a lot of just >> in that way and so it was a lot of just there was a haze of you know some there was a haze of you know some there was a haze of you know some partying some other thing you know there partying some other thing you know there partying some other thing you know there was a lot of things going on where I was was a lot of things going on where I was was a lot of things going on where I was like trying to fill voids or trying to like trying to fill voids or trying to like trying to fill voids or trying to like like like >> cope with a sense of disconnection.

>> cope with a sense of disconnection. >> cope with a sense of disconnection. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You know, >> You know, >> You know, >> and so yeah, finding those people. >> and so yeah, finding those people. >> and so yeah, finding those people. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Can I ask you a question? >> Can I ask you a question? >> Can I ask you a question? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> When did you land in community? Like and >> When did you land in community? Like and >> When did you land in community? Like and it may not be a moment, but like when it may not be a moment, but like when it may not be a moment, but like when did you like going back to where we did you like going back to where we did you like going back to where we started with the peace with God? Like started with the peace with God? Like started with the peace with God? Like what what comes to mind as an experience what what comes to mind as an experience what what comes to mind as an experience was like, man, I I have found people. was like, man, I I have found people. was like, man, I I have found people. >> Yeah. Yeah. Um the fir >> Yeah. Yeah. Um the fir >> Yeah. Yeah. Um the fir there's there's been a few different there's there's been a few different there's there's been a few different moments, but honestly it was really um moments, but honestly it was really um moments, but honestly it was really um it's a small group I'm in now that I it's a small group I'm in now that I it's a small group I'm in now that I joined like three something years ago joined like three something years ago joined like three something years ago when it's like really familyike and like when it's like really familyike and like when it's like really familyike and like people showing up for me in crazy ways people showing up for me in crazy ways people showing up for me in crazy ways and I'm get get to show up for them in and I'm get get to show up for them in and I'm get get to show up for them in crazy and they really know me. Yeah. crazy and they really know me. Yeah. crazy and they really know me. Yeah. >> Like so that was when I really got it. I >> Like so that was when I really got it. I >> Like so that was when I really got it. I start in college people are very trans start in college people are very trans start in college people are very trans there. There's it's hard to really build there. There's it's hard to really build there. There's it's hard to really build that in college. I had some levels of that in college. I had some levels of that in college. I had some levels of that at at Crossroads there. But I think that at at Crossroads there. But I think that at at Crossroads there. But I think it was when I was, you know, graduated it was when I was, you know, graduated it was when I was, you know, graduated and had and had and had >> there was there was a guy who invited me >> there was there was a guy who invited me >> there was there was a guy who invited me and he pursued me and I said no a few and he pursued me and I said no a few and he pursued me and I said no a few times. I was like, "Ah, I don't know."

times. I was like, "Ah, I don't know." times. I was like, "Ah, I don't know." You know, [laughter] You know, [laughter] You know, [laughter] >> yep. >> yep. >> yep. >> I don't I don't want to be known >> I don't I don't want to be known >> I don't I don't want to be known actually, but [laughter] I was like, actually, but [laughter] I was like, actually, but [laughter] I was like, "Yeah, I'm good." "Yeah, I'm good." "Yeah, I'm good." >> But uh >> But uh >> But uh >> but he kept he kept pursuing me and that >> but he kept he kept pursuing me and that >> but he kept he kept pursuing me and that and that led to so much provision, so and that led to so much provision, so and that led to so much provision, so much friendship, so much connection. And much friendship, so much connection. And much friendship, so much connection. And then yeah, then yeah, then yeah, >> for whatever reason as you were sharing, >> for whatever reason as you were sharing, >> for whatever reason as you were sharing, thank you for sharing that. For whatever thank you for sharing that. For whatever thank you for sharing that. For whatever reason, as you were sharing that, reason, as you were sharing that, reason, as you were sharing that, >> the person that was coming to mind to me >> the person that was coming to mind to me >> the person that was coming to mind to me is the person who's listening that like is the person who's listening that like is the person who's listening that like they're like, I want that. they're like, I want that. they're like, I want that. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I don't have that. >> And I don't have that. >> And I don't have that. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And so I I think as a way to maybe close >> And so I I think as a way to maybe close >> And so I I think as a way to maybe close today, I would you pray for that person? today, I would you pray for that person? today, I would you pray for that person? Obviously, we don't know Obviously, we don't know Obviously, we don't know >> absolutely >> absolutely >> absolutely >> all the names, but if that's you, we >> all the names, but if that's you, we >> all the names, but if that's you, we want to pray for you want to pray for you want to pray for you >> because I believe that there is >> because I believe that there is >> because I believe that there is something that God wants to invite you something that God wants to invite you something that God wants to invite you into and offer to you. And it might feel into and offer to you. And it might feel into and offer to you. And it might feel like it's hard to find like it's hard to find like it's hard to find >> right now, but we just want to pray that >> right now, but we just want to pray that >> right now, but we just want to pray that you would experience this grace and this you would experience this grace and this you would experience this grace and this peace with God peace with God peace with God >> with God and with community. So would >> with God and with community. So would >> with God and with community. So would you just pray for them? you just pray for them? you just pray for them? >> Uh Lord, um I just want to lift up >> Uh Lord, um I just want to lift up >> Uh Lord, um I just want to lift up whoever is listening right now who who whoever is listening right now who who whoever is listening right now who who needs connection, who who needs needs connection, who who needs needs connection, who who needs relationship. Lord, first I just ask relationship. Lord, first I just ask relationship. Lord, first I just ask that you embrace them today. Even as that you embrace them today. Even as that you embrace them today. Even as they're listening, Lord, that they would they're listening, Lord, that they would they're listening, Lord, that they would feel your presence in an amazing and feel your presence in an amazing and feel your presence in an amazing and unexpected and new way. that they would unexpected and new way. that they would unexpected and new way. that they would know that you are with them, that you're know that you are with them, that you're know that you are with them, that you're sitting right beside them, Lord, that sitting right beside them, Lord, that sitting right beside them, Lord, that you see them, that you are the God who you see them, that you are the God who you see them, that you are the God who sees. We've talked about Abraham a lot.

sees. We've talked about Abraham a lot. sees. We've talked about Abraham a lot. Um Um Um his his slave, Hagar, is the one who got his his slave, Hagar, is the one who got his his slave, Hagar, is the one who got to experience that name of yours in that to experience that name of yours in that to experience that name of yours in that story, Lord. She looks up, she's alone story, Lord. She looks up, she's alone story, Lord. She looks up, she's alone in the desert, and she see and God comes in the desert, and she see and God comes in the desert, and she see and God comes and meets her, provides for her, and and meets her, provides for her, and and meets her, provides for her, and then she looks and says, "You are the then she looks and says, "You are the then she looks and says, "You are the God who sees me, Lord. I just asked God who sees me, Lord. I just asked God who sees me, Lord. I just asked first that people feel seen by you, that first that people feel seen by you, that first that people feel seen by you, that they feel known by you, and then that they feel known by you, and then that they feel known by you, and then that you would open doors for them to find you would open doors for them to find you would open doors for them to find others who who know you, God, who um others who who know you, God, who um others who who know you, God, who um that they can talk that they can talk that they can talk that they can talk that they can talk that they can talk with, they can be known by that that with, they can be known by that that with, they can be known by that that we're we're not built, we're not we're we're not built, we're not we're we're not built, we're not designed to live life alone, Lord. And I designed to live life alone, Lord. And I designed to live life alone, Lord. And I ask that um that you'd bridge those ask that um that you'd bridge those ask that um that you'd bridge those gaps, Lord, even if there's it it seems gaps, Lord, even if there's it it seems gaps, Lord, even if there's it it seems impossible, Lord. You can do the impossible, Lord. You can do the impossible, Lord. You can do the impossible. impossible. impossible. >> Amen. Amen. >> Amen. Amen. >> Amen. Amen. >> Amen.