Small Choices Add Up | Ecclesiastes 10

When God redeemed us, When God redeemed us, He also redeemed He also redeemed He also redeemed our name. our name. our name. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Yes? It's as if my name Yes? It's as if my name Yes? It's as if my name means something else where means something else where I'm not even there I'm not even there . This is better. What is . This is better. What is . This is better. What is written there? Better than written there? Better than written there? Better than good incense. Do you know? good incense. Do you know? good incense. Do you know? It's like an expensive It's like an expensive It's like an expensive perfume. It leaves a perfume. It leaves a perfume. It leaves a pleasant aroma. pleasant aroma. pleasant aroma. Yes. Yes. Yes. From everywhere you've From everywhere you've From everywhere you've been. But been. But been. But I also want to I also want to I also want to reach out to those reach out to those reach out to those who feel they don't who feel they don't who feel they don't have a good name. have a good name. have a good name. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. It doesn't have to It doesn't have to It doesn't have to stay that way. stay that way. stay that way. Yes. Yes. Yes. True. True. True. That's good. That's good. That's good. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. A Yes. A Yes. A good name is like perfume, good name is like perfume, good name is like perfume, but a bad one is like farts. but a bad one is like farts. but a bad one is like farts. Perfume from a bunch. Perfume from a bunch. Perfume from a bunch. Perfume from a bunch. I Perfume from a bunch. I Perfume from a bunch. I don't recommend this. don't recommend this. don't recommend this. You wouldn't want You wouldn't want You wouldn't want to use this. to use this. to use this. Yes. Yes. This is Crossroads Daily. No This is Crossroads Daily. No experts, no experts, no experts, no perfect people, perfect people, perfect people, just honest conversations just honest conversations just honest conversations about what about what about what happens when happens when happens when the Bible appears in the Bible appears in the Bible appears in real life. real life. Welcome to Welcome to Crossroads Daily. I am Caleb. Crossroads Daily. I am Caleb. Crossroads Daily. I am Caleb. I am Miko. I am Miko. I am Miko. I am Vivian. I am Vivian. I am Vivian. I'm Zach. I'm Zach. I'm Zach. We We We have been studying the book have been studying the book have been studying the book of Ecclesiastes all this week, and of Ecclesiastes all this week, and of Ecclesiastes all this week, and today we are in today we are in today we are in chapter 10. The book chapter 10. The book chapter 10. The book of Ecclesiastes is known of Ecclesiastes is known of Ecclesiastes is known as wisdom literature in the as wisdom literature in the as wisdom literature in the Bible. She is full of Bible. She is full of Bible. She is full of wisdom. Sometimes we wisdom. Sometimes we wisdom. Sometimes we need to push it out by need to push it out by need to push it out by talking together talking together . This is what we do . This is what we do . This is what we do all week.

all week. all week. Chapter 10—it's like boom, Chapter 10—it's like boom, Chapter 10—it's like boom, why do I say boom, why do why do I say boom, why do why do I say boom, why do I say boom, why do I I say boom, why do I I say boom, why do I say. And I just want to say. And I just want to say. And I just want to give you the space give you the space give you the space to share one to share one to share one poem, why it poem, why it poem, why it touches you, why touches you, why touches you, why it sticks in your mind. it sticks in your mind. it sticks in your mind. While you watch, I'll While you watch, I'll While you watch, I'll share what I share what I share what I remember. remember. remember. Um, that's verse four, Um, that's verse four, Um, that's verse four, chapter 10, verse chapter 10, verse chapter 10, verse four. four. four. This is actually the second part of the This is actually the second part of the This is actually the second part of the fourth verse. " fourth verse. " Meekness covers Meekness covers Meekness covers great sins." great sins." great sins." Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Oh, that's good. The way Oh, that's good. The way Oh, that's good. The way I react can I react can I react can either exacerbate either exacerbate either exacerbate the situation or the situation or the situation or mitigate it. mitigate it. Yes. Yes. I shared a few days I shared a few days I shared a few days ago that I was really ago that I was really ago that I was really late yesterday to late yesterday to late yesterday to pick up the kids for cross country pick up the kids for cross country . And that caused . And that caused . And that caused a bit of a rift, an a bit of a rift, an a bit of a rift, an argument between me and my argument between me and my argument between me and my wife. And she wife. And she was quite rightly irritated. And was quite rightly irritated. And I I I reacted unfairly with anger, reacted unfairly with anger, reacted unfairly with anger, even though I was in the even though I was in the even though I was in the wrong. Why me, I was wrong. Why me, I was wrong. Why me, I was just defending myself. just defending myself. just defending myself. I need to I need to I need to recognize these recognize these recognize these patterns. I patterns. I patterns. I need wisdom. need wisdom. need wisdom. That's why I'm here. I am That's why I'm here. I am That's why I'm here. I am not here because I have not here because I have not here because I have wisdom. I am here because I wisdom. I am here because I wisdom. I am here because I need wisdom. need wisdom. need wisdom. And I should have And I should have And I should have read this yesterday. read this yesterday. read this yesterday. Gentleness would appease a Gentleness would appease a Gentleness would appease a great guilt, would great guilt, would great guilt, would n't it? If n't it? If n't it? If you react calmly...

you react calmly... you react calmly... Yes. Yes. Yes. Stop thinking only Stop thinking only Stop thinking only about yourself, man. about yourself, man. about yourself, man. Let's return to the topic of Let's return to the topic of Let's return to the topic of selfishness. Well, selfishness. Well, selfishness. Well, actually, I could actually, I could actually, I could hear it. I could hear it. I could hear it. I could take that feedback take that feedback take that feedback from her. Regardless from her. Regardless from her. Regardless of whether it was of whether it was of whether it was perfect or not, I could perfect or not, I could perfect or not, I could accept it. And then we accept it. And then we accept it. And then we can move on. can move on. can move on. When instead I ruined everything When instead I ruined everything Yes. Yes. Well, like, dude, Well, like, dude, Well, like, dude, you know what I mean? you know what I mean? you know what I mean? This is so true. This, This is so true. This, This is so true. This, this is just incredible. this is just incredible. this is just incredible. It reminds me of, well, It reminds me of, well, It reminds me of, well, one of my old one of my old one of my old jobs—parole officer jobs—parole officer , as , as everyone knows. Everyone everyone knows. Everyone everyone knows. Everyone guesses. Such a guesses. Such a guesses. Such a common profession. common profession. common profession. Somewhere out there, man. Somewhere out there, man. So some of you are thinking, So some of you are thinking, "This guy looks "This guy looks "This guy looks familiar." Maybe that's why. familiar." Maybe that's why. familiar." Maybe that's why. But some of what But some of what But some of what it makes me it makes me it makes me think about is that there were think about is that there were think about is that there were as many moments as you as many moments as you as many moments as you can imagine in a can imagine in a can imagine in a probation office where probation office where probation office where strong strong strong emotions were running high. People were angry, emotions were running high. People were angry, emotions were running high. People were angry, and a big part of and a big part of and a big part of my job was to my job was to my job was to de-escalate. It de-escalate. It was very easy for people was very easy for people to get angry. They to get angry. They to get angry. They had all these demands from had all these demands from had all these demands from the judge, and they were like, "I the judge, and they were like, "I the judge, and they were like, "I could never could never could never do this." So a big do this." So a big do this." So a big part of my job part of my job part of my job was to see what state was to see what state was to see what state people were in, and instead of people were in, and instead of people were in, and instead of yelling yelling yelling back — and if we back — and if we back — and if we started yelling, I would started yelling, I would started yelling, I would lose. Do you understand what lose. Do you understand what lose. Do you understand what I mean? I'm not, I'm not I mean? I'm not, I'm not I mean? I'm not, I'm not very aggressive, very aggressive, very aggressive, you know? I guess that's why no you know? I guess that's why no you know? I guess that's why no one believes I one believes I one believes I was a was a was a probation officer. But I think there's probation officer. But I think there's something special about de-escalation. There's something something special about de-escalation. There's something about the calm reaction about the calm reaction about the calm reaction that kept that kept that kept the situation from getting

the situation from getting the situation from getting worse. worse. worse. Was that the Was that the number one de-escalation tool number one de-escalation tool ? Just how you ? Just how you ? Just how you respond? respond? respond? For me, yes. People have For me, yes. People have For me, yes. People have different methods, but for different methods, but for different methods, but for me this was the me this was the me this was the most important. most important. most important. Yes. Yes. Yes. Because there's something about how Because there's something about how Because there's something about how literally the tone and literally the tone and literally the tone and volume with which you volume with which you volume with which you speak makes speak makes speak makes a person instinctively a person instinctively a person instinctively adjust. adjust. adjust. So if you start So if you start So if you start screaming, they screaming, they screaming, they will scream too. But will scream too. But will scream too. But if they're yelling and if they're yelling and if they're yelling and you talk like this you talk like this , it'll , it'll , it'll make them make them make them calm down. calm down. calm down. Yes. Something like this is Yes. Something like this is Yes. Something like this is happening. happening. happening. Especially with Especially with Especially with confidence, yes, confidence, yes, confidence, yes, while you're while you're while you're talking like that. talking like that. talking like that. I can, because I was a life I can, because I was a life coach at City Gospel Mission. coach at City Gospel Mission. coach at City Gospel Mission. Okay. Okay. Okay. And we had, we And we had, we And we had, we work work work with difficult people. with difficult people. with difficult people. Aha. Aha. Aha. And we had so And we had so And we had so many meetings, and many meetings, and many meetings, and people had so many people had so many people had so many different experiences with different experiences with different experiences with those that we, you know, those that we, you know, those that we, you know, helped. And I did helped. And I did helped. And I did n't even notice it, n't even notice it, n't even notice it, but the team did. It's just that but the team did. It's just that I would approach I would approach such situations in about the same way. such situations in about the same way. such situations in about the same way. Plus, I didn't feel Plus, I didn't feel Plus, I didn't feel threatened, you know, in threatened, you know, in threatened, you know, in those situations, those situations, those situations, whereas some of the team whereas some of the team whereas some of the team might have seen these might have seen these might have seen these antics and, you know, antics and, you know, antics and, you know, felt threatened and felt threatened and felt threatened and reacted. And so, I don't reacted. And so, I don't reacted. And so, I don't know if it's because know if it's because know if it's because I...I don't know. I kind of I...I don't know. I kind of I...I don't know. I kind of changed my, you know, changed my, you know, changed my, you know, way of looking at it.

way of looking at it. way of looking at it. But that's how I would But that's how I would But that's how I would react to them. And I react to them. And I react to them. And I definitely had a different definitely had a different definitely had a different interaction with them than interaction with them than interaction with them than almost anyone almost anyone almost anyone else on our else on our else on our team. team. team. Of course. Of course. Of course. But yes. But yes. But yes. Yes. Yes. So, that's one Yes. Yes. So, that's one Yes. Yes. So, that's one piece of wisdom. piece of wisdom. piece of wisdom. What other wisdom? It What other wisdom? It What other wisdom? It could be from this could be from this could be from this section. I section. I section. I mean, you can mean, you can mean, you can even open other even open other even open other chapters that we chapters that we chapters that we read. This book is read. This book is read. This book is full of wisdom. We ca full of wisdom. We ca full of wisdom. We ca n't even n't even n't even cover everything. What else cover everything. What else cover everything. What else stands out to you? stands out to you? stands out to you? Well, one thing that Well, one thing that Well, one thing that stands out to me stands out to me stands out to me is Ecclesiastes 7:5, which is Ecclesiastes 7:5, which is Ecclesiastes 7:5, which says, “It is better says, “It is better says, “It is better to hear the rebuke of the to hear the rebuke of the to hear the rebuke of the wise than to listen to the wise than to listen to the wise than to listen to the song of fools.” And I song of fools.” And I song of fools.” And I think that idea is think that idea is think that idea is actually woven actually woven actually woven into some of the other chapters as well. into some of the other chapters as well. And it makes me And it makes me think that there think that there think that there should should should be people in my life who are willing be people in my life who are willing be people in my life who are willing to share with me, to share with me, to share with me, perhaps difficult perhaps difficult perhaps difficult things. Uh, not things. Uh, not things. Uh, not just surrounding just surrounding just surrounding yourself with people who yourself with people who yourself with people who always agree with everything always agree with everything always agree with everything , who , who , who will say, "Yeah, will say, "Yeah, will say, "Yeah, you're great." Do you're great." Do you're great." Do you understand? you understand? you understand? Yes, yes. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. Uh, because I know one Uh, because I know one Uh, because I know one person who has been my person who has been my person who has been my friend for a long time. And friend for a long time. And friend for a long time. And so she has the so she has the so she has the ability to actually ability to actually ability to actually see see see patterns in patterns in patterns in my life.

my life. my life. Yes. Has wisdom. Yes Yes. Has wisdom. Yes . . And so, when I shared a And so, when I shared a certain situation, certain situation, certain situation, she reminded me. she reminded me. She says, "So, she's She says, "So, she's saying, it seems like this is a saying, it seems like this is a saying, it seems like this is a pattern that pattern that pattern that we've seen before, that we've seen before, that we've seen before, that you've been you've been you've been through before." through before." through before." Oh. Oh. Oh. And I'm like, "Uh-huh." And I'm like, "Uh-huh." And I'm like, "Uh-huh." Yes. Yes. Yes. But, because we have a But, because we have a But, because we have a trusting relationship, I trusting relationship, I trusting relationship, I knew she was knew she was knew she was sharing this with sharing this with sharing this with love. love. love. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. And so she said, " So, you know, let's So, you know, let's So, you know, let's think about how you think about how you think about how you handled this handled this handled this last time, what last time, what last time, what helped, and what..." helped, and what..." Yeah. And in fact, her And in fact, her wisdom helped wisdom helped wisdom helped me navigate me navigate me navigate something that I had kind of something that I had kind of something that I had kind of forgotten had forgotten had forgotten had happened before. happened before. And so it reminded And so it reminded me that yes. And when me that yes. And when me that yes. And when someone is about to someone is about to someone is about to say something say something say something difficult, I difficult, I difficult, I just need to just need to just need to lower the tension and lower the tension and lower the tension and create a space for create a space for create a space for them to feel them to feel them to feel comfortable telling comfortable telling comfortable telling it to me, instead of it to me, instead of it to me, instead of winding myself up winding myself up winding myself up and giving signals that I'm and giving signals that I'm and giving signals that I'm not ready to hear it.

not ready to hear it. not ready to hear it. Fantastically. Fantastically. Fantastically. Yes. This is very apt. Yes. This is very apt. Yes. This is very apt. This reminds me of This reminds me of Chuck's recent message and this aspect of Chuck's recent message and this aspect of friction in friendship. Like, friction in friendship. Like, friction in friendship. Like, you need people you need people you need people who are willing to do it, who are willing to do it, who are willing to do it, but you also have to but you also have to but you also have to be willing to be willing to be willing to accept it. accept it. accept it. Yes, yes. This is true. Yes, yes. This is true. Yes, yes. This is true. I'm also in chapter 7, I'm also in chapter 7, I'm also in chapter 7, actually verse 1. A good actually verse 1. A good actually verse 1. A good name is better than expensive name is better than expensive name is better than expensive perfume. And I think perfume. And I think perfume. And I think for me, what I for me, what I for me, what I remember, even when I was remember, even when I was remember, even when I was going through the process of going through the process of going through the process of joining Crossroads, joining Crossroads, I heard my name I heard my name mentioned in different mentioned in different mentioned in different offices. offices. offices. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. And it was always a And it was always a And it was always a respectful conversation. respectful conversation. Mhm. Mhm. And I was talking to And I was talking to And I was talking to Chuck and I said, " Chuck and I said, " Man, one of the Man, one of the Man, one of the things I things I things I realized, brother, is that realized, brother, is that realized, brother, is that when God when God when God redeemed us, He redeemed us, He redeemed us, He also redeemed our also redeemed our also redeemed our name." name." name." Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Yes? My name means Yes? My name means Yes? My name means something else in spaces something else in spaces where I don't even exist where I don't even exist . Do you understand what I mean? And . Do you understand what I mean? And . Do you understand what I mean? And that really played a that really played a that really played a huge role in the huge role in the huge role in the path set path set path set before me, you know?

before me, you know? before me, you know? Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. And I don't know. So, And I don't know. So, And I don't know. So, just thinking just thinking just thinking about this verse, it's a about this verse, it's a about this verse, it's a reminder of reminder of reminder of how you live your how you live your how you live your life when you just life when you just life when you just follow God, right? follow God, right? follow God, right? You want to be more like You want to be more like You want to be more like Him, and it Him, and it Him, and it leaves its mark in leaves its mark in leaves its mark in rooms, and when people rooms, and when people rooms, and when people talk about it, it's talk about it, it's talk about it, it's better... What does it say better... What does it say ? Better than expensive ? Better than expensive ? Better than expensive perfume, you know? It's perfume, you know? It's perfume, you know? It's like an exquisite like an exquisite like an exquisite fragrance. It leaves a fragrance. It leaves a fragrance. It leaves a pleasant smell. pleasant smell. pleasant smell. Yes. Yes. Yes. everywhere you've been, but everywhere you've been, but everywhere you've been, but I'll also say if you I'll also say if you I'll also say if you feel like you don't feel like you don't feel like you don't have a good name, have a good name, have a good name, Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. it doesn't have to it doesn't have to it doesn't have to stay that way. stay that way. stay that way. Yes. Yes. Yes. Truth? That's good. Truth? That's good. Truth? That's good. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, it wasn't always like this Yes, it wasn't always like this Yes, it wasn't always like this . He redeems . He redeems . He redeems every aspect of you. every aspect of you. every aspect of you. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. A Yes. A Yes. A good name is like good name is like good name is like perfume, a bad name is perfume, a bad name is like a fart. like a fart. like a fart. Fart perfume. Fart perfume. Fart perfume. Fart perfume. Fart perfume. Fart perfume. I wouldn't recommend it. I wouldn't recommend it. I wouldn't recommend it. I wouldn't want I wouldn't want I wouldn't want to use it like that. to use it like that. to use it like that. Stop this. Sorry. Stop this. Sorry. Stop this. Sorry. No, but seriously, because I No, but seriously, because I No, but seriously, because I know that there are know that there are know that there are people watching us who people watching us who people watching us who feel, "My feel, "My feel, "My name doesn't smell very nice name doesn't smell very nice name doesn't smell very nice to others." to others." to others." Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. But you, you can But you, you can But you, you can start to change. start to change. start to change. Yes. Yes. Yes. I mean, it's I mean, it's I mean, it's hard, yes, but take whatever hard, yes, but take whatever hard, yes, but take whatever step you can.

step you can. step you can. Yes. True. Yes. True. Yes. True. This is true. This is true. This is true. What about you, Zach? What about you, Zach? What about you, Zach? Yes. I also took a quote Yes. I also took a quote Yes. I also took a quote from Ecclesiastes, 7. It from Ecclesiastes, 7. It from Ecclesiastes, 7. It was... was... was... Chapter 7—it's Chapter 7—it's Chapter 7—it's just fire, man. just fire, man. just fire, man. Yes, there was, there Yes, there was, there Yes, there was, there was, there was was, there was was, there was so much so much so much interesting stuff. interesting stuff. interesting stuff. Honestly, one of the things that Honestly, one of the things that Honestly, one of the things that stuck with me was stuck with me was stuck with me was verse 7:10. Do not say, “ verse 7:10. Do not say, “ Why were the former days Why were the former days Why were the former days better than these?” better than these?” "Because it's foolish "Because it's foolish "Because it's foolish to ask about such things." to ask about such things." to ask about such things." It seems like a lot of It seems like a lot of It seems like a lot of boomers on Facebook need to boomers on Facebook need to boomers on Facebook need to hear this. The only thing that hear this. The only thing that hear this. The only thing that bothers me is that bothers me is that bothers me is that people tell me straight to my face, people tell me straight to my face, people tell me straight to my face, "Your "Your "Your generation generation generation knows nothing." It's just... knows nothing." It's just... First of all, what do you First of all, what do you First of all, what do you mean? I'm just a mean? I'm just a mean? I'm just a guy. But I think guy. But I think guy. But I think every generation every generation every generation has the idea that the has the idea that the has the idea that the next generation is next generation is next generation is rolling into an abyss and rolling into an abyss and rolling into an abyss and doesn't know what they're doing. doesn't know what they're doing. But that's not true at all. But that's not true at all. This is not true, and from a This is not true, and from a This is not true, and from a biblical perspective biblical perspective biblical perspective too. I also think that when it comes too. I also think that when it comes too. I also think that when it comes to the next to the next to the next generation, it's generation, it's generation, it's part of your job part of your job part of your job to raise them. So to raise them. So to raise them. So if you don't if you don't if you don't like what the like what the like what the next next next generation does, you had a generation does, you had a generation does, you had a hand in it. I do hand in it. I do n't know, I think it's n't know, I think it's not just about the not just about the not just about the next generation next generation , it's just, man, that's the , it's just, man, that's the , it's just, man, that's the Boy Scout rule: Boy Scout rule: Boy Scout rule: make the world better make the world better make the world better than it was before you.

than it was before you. You know, instead of You know, instead of looking back at looking back at looking back at the past, what can we the past, what can we the past, what can we do for the do for the do for the future? What future? What future? What can we do to make can we do to make can we do to make Earth more like Earth more like Earth more like paradise? Yes. paradise? Yes. paradise? Yes. Well said. There is Well said. There is Well said. There is a lot of wisdom there, and there is so a lot of wisdom there, and there is so a lot of wisdom there, and there is so much more, much more, much more, keep reading the keep reading the keep reading the book of Ecclesiastes, book of Ecclesiastes, book of Ecclesiastes, keep reading the keep reading the keep reading the wisdom books in the wisdom books in the wisdom books in the Bible, there is so much Bible, there is so much Bible, there is so much practical advice there. It's practical advice there. It's practical advice there. It's like a "choose your like a "choose your like a "choose your own adventure" day, own adventure" day, own adventure" day, right? Maybe, like right? Maybe, like right? Maybe, like me, you need to me, you need to me, you need to learn that calmness learn that calmness learn that calmness helps defuse helps defuse helps defuse conflict—maybe conflict—maybe conflict—maybe you should you should you should apply that apply that apply that today. Maybe, like today. Maybe, like today. Maybe, like Vivian, you need to Vivian, you need to Vivian, you need to find a friend who find a friend who find a friend who will tell you the truth. will tell you the truth. will tell you the truth. Maybe like Miko Maybe like Miko with a redeemed name with a redeemed name That's for sure. That's for sure. That's for sure. Maybe like Miko, Maybe like Miko, Maybe like Miko, maybe your name does maybe your name does maybe your name does n't have the best n't have the best n't have the best reputation, you can reputation, you can reputation, you can do something about it do something about it do something about it today. Maybe, like today. Maybe, like today. Maybe, like Zach, stop looking at the Zach, stop looking at the Zach, stop looking at the past through rose-colored past through rose-colored past through rose-colored glasses. We have a glasses. We have a glasses. We have a forward movement, we have a forward movement, we have a forward movement, we have a future ahead of us. We future ahead of us. We future ahead of us. We must move must move must move forward. There is something forward. There is something forward. There is something you can do today. you can do today. you can do today. I think God is touching I think God is touching I think God is touching your heart with this. your heart with this. your heart with this. Take action. See you Take action. See you Take action. See you next time.