Habits We Pretend Aren’t Bad | Romans 2

For me when I think about respectable For me when I think about respectable sins, I think about the sins that in a sins, I think about the sins that in a sins, I think about the sins that in a weird way like I wouldn't be scared to weird way like I wouldn't be scared to weird way like I wouldn't be scared to admit. admit. admit. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> or like the ones where >> or like the ones where >> or like the ones where it people would be pretty quick to be it people would be pretty quick to be it people would be pretty quick to be like, "Oh, that's not too bad." You like, "Oh, that's not too bad." You like, "Oh, that's not too bad." You know, but often under the surface like, know, but often under the surface like, know, but often under the surface like, you know, I can say something like you know, I can say something like you know, I can say something like selfishness, right? People are like, selfishness, right? People are like, selfishness, right? People are like, "Oh, it's cuz it's abstract. It's vague. "Oh, it's cuz it's abstract. It's vague. "Oh, it's cuz it's abstract. It's vague. You can easily be like, 'Oh, well, just You can easily be like, 'Oh, well, just You can easily be like, 'Oh, well, just don't be selfish anymore.' Or, you know, don't be selfish anymore.' Or, you know, don't be selfish anymore.' Or, you know, you know, say a quick prayer and you're you know, say a quick prayer and you're you know, say a quick prayer and you're good, man. Like, you know, move on." And good, man. Like, you know, move on." And good, man. Like, you know, move on." And it's like, but no, where where is that it's like, but no, where where is that it's like, but no, where where is that impacting me? Where is that impacting impacting me? Where is that impacting impacting me? Where is that impacting the way I relate to God and other the way I relate to God and other the way I relate to God and other people? people? people? >> This is the Crossroads Daily. No >> This is the Crossroads Daily. No >> This is the Crossroads Daily. No experts, no perfect people, just honest experts, no perfect people, just honest experts, no perfect people, just honest conversations about what happens when conversations about what happens when conversations about what happens when the Bible shows up in real life. the Bible shows up in real life. the Bible shows up in real life. >> [music] >> Hey, I'm Chuck. >> Hey, I'm Chuck. >> I'm Carolyn. >> I'm Carolyn. >> I'm Carolyn. >> I'm Peter. >> I'm Peter. >> I'm Peter. >> I'm Chris. >> I'm Chris. >> I'm Chris. >> Romans chapter 2. >> Romans chapter 2. >> Romans chapter 2. Uh in Romans 1, you know, if I think Uh in Romans 1, you know, if I think Uh in Romans 1, you know, if I think about the person who probably feels like about the person who probably feels like about the person who probably feels like there's a spotlight on them in Romans there's a spotlight on them in Romans there's a spotlight on them in Romans chapter 1, it's probably the person chapter 1, it's probably the person chapter 1, it's probably the person that's like, that's like, that's like, "All right, I know I got stuff in my "All right, I know I got stuff in my "All right, I know I got stuff in my life that isn't right." You know?

life that isn't right." You know? life that isn't right." You know? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I think Paul is putting a spotlight in >> I think Paul is putting a spotlight in >> I think Paul is putting a spotlight in Romans 2 on the person who's looking at Romans 2 on the person who's looking at Romans 2 on the person who's looking at that person saying, "Yeah, you're right. that person saying, "Yeah, you're right. that person saying, "Yeah, you're right. There's stuff in your life that isn't There's stuff in your life that isn't There's stuff in your life that isn't right. I'm a good I'm a good church right. I'm a good I'm a good church right. I'm a good I'm a good church goer, right?" Like goer, right?" Like goer, right?" Like and it reminds me of a quote that I just and it reminds me of a quote that I just and it reminds me of a quote that I just I love to use it at least once a year. I love to use it at least once a year. I love to use it at least once a year. So, here's my time to use it. John So, here's my time to use it. John So, here's my time to use it. John Gerstner was a pastor and he said, "The Gerstner was a pastor and he said, "The Gerstner was a pastor and he said, "The problem the biggest problem between you problem the biggest problem between you problem the biggest problem between you and God is not your sin, it's your and God is not your sin, it's your and God is not your sin, it's your damnable good works." damnable good works." damnable good works." >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Phew. Jeez. >> Phew. Jeez. >> Phew. Jeez. >> [laughter] >> [laughter] >> [laughter] >> That's good, isn't it? That's good. >> That's good, isn't it? That's good. >> That's good, isn't it? That's good. >> Damn, Chuck. >> Damn, Chuck. >> Damn, Chuck. >> That's the good stuff right there, >> That's the good stuff right there, >> That's the good stuff right there, right? right? right? >> That's [laughter] the scary kind of >> That's [laughter] the scary kind of >> That's [laughter] the scary kind of goosebumps, you know? [clears throat] goosebumps, you know? [clears throat] goosebumps, you know? [clears throat] >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Like heart >> Like heart >> Like heart >> Damnable good works. Like we we we work >> Damnable good works. Like we we we work >> Damnable good works. Like we we we work really I mean, it's it's really I mean, it's it's really I mean, it's it's it's part of the Christian I don't know, it's part of the Christian I don't know, it's part of the Christian I don't know, dark side or whatever that you you get dark side or whatever that you you get dark side or whatever that you you get really good at pretending like you're really good at pretending like you're really good at pretending like you're really good. really good. really good. And so, man, like let's be honest. What And so, man, like let's be honest. What And so, man, like let's be honest. What are what are the ways we do that? What are what are the ways we do that? What are what are the ways we do that? What are the ways that we try to are the ways that we try to are the ways that we try to show like we're really good or pretend show like we're really good or pretend show like we're really good or pretend we're really good like, you know, we're we're really good like, you know, we're we're really good like, you know, we're trying to and it's our damnable good trying to and it's our damnable good trying to and it's our damnable good works. Like when I think about that, I works. Like when I think about that, I works. Like when I think about that, I think about like think about like think about like so many times when I'm in a spiritual so many times when I'm in a spiritual so many times when I'm in a spiritual context and people know I'm a pastor, context and people know I'm a pastor, context and people know I'm a pastor, how quick I am to do the inner check of how quick I am to do the inner check of how quick I am to do the inner check of like, how's my face? How's my Nobody like, how's my face? How's my Nobody like, how's my face? How's my Nobody knows I'm doing that, right? But I how's knows I'm doing that, right? But I how's knows I'm doing that, right? But I how's my face? How's my posture? Am I ready to my face? How's my posture? Am I ready to my face? How's my posture? Am I ready to like be pa like be pa like be pa How you doing? Chuck. And it's like, oh, How you doing? Chuck. And it's like, oh, How you doing? Chuck. And it's like, oh, I feel like I got to be I'm great. Like, I feel like I got to be I'm great. Like, I feel like I got to be I'm great. Like, you know, and I'm not all the time, you know, and I'm not all the time, you know, and I'm not all the time, right? And sometimes like the person at right? And sometimes like the person at right? And sometimes like the person at the counter pissed me off and I'm mad.

the counter pissed me off and I'm mad. the counter pissed me off and I'm mad. Like I but I there's this like constant Like I but I there's this like constant Like I but I there's this like constant like, oh, but somebody's watching. I got like, oh, but somebody's watching. I got like, oh, but somebody's watching. I got to be and I just man, I know there's a to be and I just man, I know there's a to be and I just man, I know there's a part of that that is part of that that is part of that that is me trying to act like something I'm not me trying to act like something I'm not me trying to act like something I'm not and it doesn't honor God and it doesn't and it doesn't honor God and it doesn't and it doesn't honor God and it doesn't let me live in freedom. let me live in freedom. let me live in freedom. So, that's that's mine. I I know that's So, that's that's mine. I I know that's So, that's that's mine. I I know that's real for me. real for me. real for me. >> I mean, I don't know. I feel like I >> I mean, I don't know. I feel like I >> I mean, I don't know. I feel like I could just there's so many things I could just there's so many things I could just there's so many things I could say. could say. could say. >> [laughter] >> [laughter] >> [laughter] >> I like rolling the rolodex of things I >> I like rolling the rolodex of things I >> I like rolling the rolodex of things I go, oh my gosh. go, oh my gosh. go, oh my gosh. I think at it just shows up for me a lot I think at it just shows up for me a lot I think at it just shows up for me a lot at work in various ways, for sure. at work in various ways, for sure. at work in various ways, for sure. There's There's There's there's a sense of oh, I need to like there's a sense of oh, I need to like there's a sense of oh, I need to like present as busy because busy equals present as busy because busy equals present as busy because busy equals productive or busy equals valuable or productive or busy equals valuable or productive or busy equals valuable or busy equals contributor and I want to be busy equals contributor and I want to be busy equals contributor and I want to be seen as all of those things. So, even seen as all of those things. So, even seen as all of those things. So, even if, you know, that means I'm going to if, you know, that means I'm going to if, you know, that means I'm going to say something in a meeting that's not say something in a meeting that's not say something in a meeting that's not really helpful, but I want to make sure really helpful, but I want to make sure really helpful, but I want to make sure someone heard my voice. Like, you know, someone heard my voice. Like, you know, someone heard my voice. Like, you know, I got to constantly be checking myself I got to constantly be checking myself I got to constantly be checking myself >> That's real, man. >> That's real, man. >> That's real, man. >> on that level and then on top of that >> on that level and then on top of that >> on that level and then on top of that then I'm also then reflecting that back then I'm also then reflecting that back then I'm also then reflecting that back to other people. And I might be judging to other people. And I might be judging to other people. And I might be judging them or their intentions or I might be them or their intentions or I might be them or their intentions or I might be and and the scary thing about judging and and the scary thing about judging and and the scary thing about judging people, which Paul talks a lot about in people, which Paul talks a lot about in people, which Paul talks a lot about in here, here, here, is it masquerades as other things. It's is it masquerades as other things. It's is it masquerades as other things. It's like, I'm being wise. I'm being like, I'm being wise. I'm being like, I'm being wise. I'm being perceptive. I'm being We'll we'll put a perceptive. I'm being We'll we'll put a perceptive. I'm being We'll we'll put a name on it that's positive, but really name on it that's positive, but really name on it that's positive, but really what we're doing is we're judging people what we're doing is we're judging people what we're doing is we're judging people and I have to That's another constant and I have to That's another constant and I have to That's another constant heart check of like heart check of like heart check of like cuz there's a pride in oh, I'm just cuz there's a pride in oh, I'm just cuz there's a pride in oh, I'm just being perceptive. I I can see what they being perceptive. I I can see what they being perceptive. I I can see what they were thinking when they said that. Like, were thinking when they said that. Like, were thinking when they said that. Like, [laughter] How am I I can't I can't like [laughter] How am I I can't I can't like [laughter] How am I I can't I can't like read their mind, but I'm pretending that read their mind, but I'm pretending that read their mind, but I'm pretending that I can in my own head, right? And then I I can in my own head, right? And then I I can in my own head, right? And then I And then I write a story about them.

And then I write a story about them. And then I write a story about them. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> And then I keep adding to that story, >> And then I keep adding to that story, >> And then I keep adding to that story, and that story then contextualizes my and that story then contextualizes my and that story then contextualizes my relationship with them in the future, relationship with them in the future, relationship with them in the future, right? Cuz like right? Cuz like right? Cuz like that's how we make sense of the world is that's how we make sense of the world is that's how we make sense of the world is we write stories. we write stories. we write stories. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And so, what kind of story am I writing? >> And so, what kind of story am I writing? >> And so, what kind of story am I writing? You know? Like so, that's that's the You know? Like so, that's that's the You know? Like so, that's that's the that's my like initial like gut check that's my like initial like gut check that's my like initial like gut check reaction to this, and something that reaction to this, and something that reaction to this, and something that God's been working on me recently. God's been working on me recently. God's been working on me recently. >> That's powerful, man. We write stories >> That's powerful, man. We write stories >> That's powerful, man. We write stories about people based on our judgment. about people based on our judgment. about people based on our judgment. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> What's the story I'm writing? Wow. >> What's the story I'm writing? Wow. >> What's the story I'm writing? Wow. >> And you could also self-judgment. What >> And you could also self-judgment. What >> And you could also self-judgment. What story are you writing about yourself? story are you writing about yourself? story are you writing about yourself? >> Sure. >> Sure. >> Sure. >> You should turn that inward, too. >> You should turn that inward, too. >> You should turn that inward, too. >> I mean, so you can go outward, inward, >> I mean, so you can go outward, inward, >> I mean, so you can go outward, inward, both ways. And both ways. And both ways. And >> we're often very hard on ourselves, too. >> we're often very hard on ourselves, too. >> we're often very hard on ourselves, too. >> Yeah, right. >> Yeah, right. >> Yeah, right. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And then that keeps us from being >> And then that keeps us from being >> And then that keeps us from being authentic. That keeps us from sharing. authentic. That keeps us from sharing. authentic. That keeps us from sharing. >> So, let me ask you this, cuz I would say >> So, let me ask you this, cuz I would say >> So, let me ask you this, cuz I would say that there are I don't know the right that there are I don't know the right that there are I don't know the right term for it. And then there's a book term for it. And then there's a book term for it. And then there's a book about this. I can't remember the name of about this. I can't remember the name of about this. I can't remember the name of it. I think it's like acceptable sins or it. I think it's like acceptable sins or it. I think it's like acceptable sins or like like like >> Respectable sins. That's it. >> Respectable sins. That's it. >> Respectable sins. That's it. >> I was going to bring it up. >> I was going to bring it up. >> I was going to bring it up. >> That's it. I just read it. >> That's it. I just read it. >> That's it. I just read it. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> So, give like a snippet of what that is, >> So, give like a snippet of what that is, >> So, give like a snippet of what that is, and then I thought it'd be like let's and then I thought it'd be like let's and then I thought it'd be like let's just popcorn. What are some respectable just popcorn. What are some respectable just popcorn. What are some respectable sins? sins? sins? >> Yeah, so respectable sins, I feel like >> Yeah, so respectable sins, I feel like >> Yeah, so respectable sins, I feel like it when I was reading it, it's basically it when I was reading it, it's basically it when I was reading it, it's basically talking about the things that we kind of talking about the things that we kind of talking about the things that we kind of overlook as sinful in our life, and our overlook as sinful in our life, and our overlook as sinful in our life, and our willingness to willingness to willingness to um not hold the mirror up to our own um not hold the mirror up to our own um not hold the mirror up to our own sin, but because they're like the more sin, but because they're like the more sin, but because they're like the more respectable thing. For example, like respectable thing. For example, like respectable thing. For example, like pride or how you appear, or casting pride or how you appear, or casting pride or how you appear, or casting judgment on others, but not actually judgment on others, but not actually judgment on others, but not actually sitting in sitting in sitting in your own sin, your own sin, your own sin, >> Mhm.

>> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> and the calling on your life to be set >> and the calling on your life to be set >> and the calling on your life to be set apart. He talks a lot about being a apart. He talks a lot about being a apart. He talks a lot about being a saint, or being set apart in Christ. saint, or being set apart in Christ. saint, or being set apart in Christ. Like, Jesus has put a calling on you. Like, Jesus has put a calling on you. Like, Jesus has put a calling on you. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> And when we neglect >> And when we neglect >> And when we neglect um that calling for the sake of small um that calling for the sake of small um that calling for the sake of small sins, because they're not as big of a sins, because they're not as big of a sins, because they're not as big of a deal, like we're actually rejecting a deal, like we're actually rejecting a deal, like we're actually rejecting a calling over our life. And it's a really calling over our life. And it's a really calling over our life. And it's a really dangerous place to be. dangerous place to be. dangerous place to be. Um yeah. Um yeah. Um yeah. And then he kind of talks more about And then he kind of talks more about And then he kind of talks more about them, but yeah. them, but yeah. them, but yeah. >> That's good. >> That's good. >> That's good. All right, so what are some of our All right, so what are some of our All right, so what are some of our respectable sins? respectable sins? respectable sins? >> For me, when I think about respectable >> For me, when I think about respectable >> For me, when I think about respectable sins, I think about the sins that in a sins, I think about the sins that in a sins, I think about the sins that in a weird way, like I wouldn't be scared to weird way, like I wouldn't be scared to weird way, like I wouldn't be scared to admit. Yeah. admit. Yeah. admit. Yeah. Or like the ones where Or like the ones where Or like the ones where it people would be pretty quick to be it people would be pretty quick to be it people would be pretty quick to be like, "Oh, that's not too bad." You like, "Oh, that's not too bad." You like, "Oh, that's not too bad." You know, but know, but know, but often under the surface, like, you know, often under the surface, like, you know, often under the surface, like, you know, I could say something like selfishness, I could say something like selfishness, I could say something like selfishness, right? People are like, "Oh, it's cuz right? People are like, "Oh, it's cuz right? People are like, "Oh, it's cuz it's abstract. It's vague. You can it's abstract. It's vague. You can it's abstract. It's vague. You can easily be like, oh, well, just don't be easily be like, oh, well, just don't be easily be like, oh, well, just don't be selfish anymore." Or, you know, you selfish anymore." Or, you know, you selfish anymore." Or, you know, you know, say a quick prayer and you're know, say a quick prayer and you're know, say a quick prayer and you're good, man. Like, you know, move on. And good, man. Like, you know, move on. And good, man. Like, you know, move on. And it's like, but no, where where is that it's like, but no, where where is that it's like, but no, where where is that impacting me? Where is that impacting impacting me? Where is that impacting impacting me? Where is that impacting the way I relate to God? To other the way I relate to God? To other the way I relate to God? To other people?

people? people? >> And I'd be so comfortable saying that >> And I'd be so comfortable saying that >> And I'd be so comfortable saying that out loud. out loud. out loud. >> And it's like versus like we think of >> And it's like versus like we think of >> And it's like versus like we think of the unrespectable sins as the ones, "Oh, the unrespectable sins as the ones, "Oh, the unrespectable sins as the ones, "Oh, I got to stay away from that. I got to I got to stay away from that. I got to I got to stay away from that. I got to stay over there, you know." That's stay over there, you know." That's stay over there, you know." That's That's got to stay over there, you know. That's got to stay over there, you know. That's got to stay over there, you know. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, I I could list a lot. I could list >> Yeah, I I could list a lot. I could list >> Yeah, I I could list a lot. I could list pride and wanting to make sure things go pride and wanting to make sure things go pride and wanting to make sure things go my way because I think something is my way because I think something is my way because I think something is right. I would throw a respectable sin right. I would throw a respectable sin right. I would throw a respectable sin out there, one that we don't often talk out there, one that we don't often talk out there, one that we don't often talk about, but I do believe is vanity. Like about, but I do believe is vanity. Like about, but I do believe is vanity. Like there are times where, you know, I enjoy there are times where, you know, I enjoy there are times where, you know, I enjoy getting dressed each day and I care what getting dressed each day and I care what getting dressed each day and I care what I look like, but there have been seasons I look like, but there have been seasons I look like, but there have been seasons of my life where I have cared way too of my life where I have cared way too of my life where I have cared way too much. Where I have cared way too much much. Where I have cared way too much much. Where I have cared way too much about what other people are going to about what other people are going to about what other people are going to think about my appearance and it becomes think about my appearance and it becomes think about my appearance and it becomes a more consuming thing. And I I I've had a more consuming thing. And I I I've had a more consuming thing. And I I I've had to temper my use of social media or, you to temper my use of social media or, you to temper my use of social media or, you know, who I follow because it was just know, who I follow because it was just know, who I follow because it was just feeding that more and more. And that my feeding that more and more. And that my feeding that more and more. And that my consumerism. And it would feed It would consumerism. And it would feed It would consumerism. And it would feed It would just you know, some of these respectable just you know, some of these respectable just you know, some of these respectable sins, because they're respectable, we sins, because they're respectable, we sins, because they're respectable, we can wear on our sleeve and no one will can wear on our sleeve and no one will can wear on our sleeve and no one will know. Um so, those are a couple of mine, know. Um so, those are a couple of mine, know. Um so, those are a couple of mine, for sure.

for sure. for sure. >> Greed is another one of mine. And And >> Greed is another one of mine. And And >> Greed is another one of mine. And And it's And it's crazy cousin, stinginess. it's And it's crazy cousin, stinginess. it's And it's crazy cousin, stinginess. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> I used to think I wasn't stingy. >> I used to think I wasn't stingy. >> I used to think I wasn't stingy. >> I used to think I'm not stingy. I'm so >> I used to think I'm not stingy. I'm so >> I used to think I'm not stingy. I'm so generous. And then I got married. And I generous. And then I got married. And I generous. And then I got married. And I realized [laughter] how stingy I can be realized [laughter] how stingy I can be realized [laughter] how stingy I can be about things that I say are mine, mine, about things that I say are mine, mine, about things that I say are mine, mine, mine. All right? So, man, I can be mine. All right? So, man, I can be mine. All right? So, man, I can be stingy sometimes. And yeah, again, stingy sometimes. And yeah, again, stingy sometimes. And yeah, again, that's I say it out loud, but that's a that's I say it out loud, but that's a that's I say it out loud, but that's a sin. sin. sin. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That's a sin. That's not trusting God. >> That's a sin. That's not trusting God. >> That's a sin. That's not trusting God. That's making myself the center instead That's making myself the center instead That's making myself the center instead of, you know, what God, you know, not of, you know, what God, you know, not of, you know, what God, you know, not not being good stewards. There's lots in not being good stewards. There's lots in not being good stewards. There's lots in there. So. there. So. there. So. >> And and where do we as a community of >> And and where do we as a community of >> And and where do we as a community of believers have a duty to not let those believers have a duty to not let those believers have a duty to not let those things pass? We can bring those up, too. things pass? We can bring those up, too. things pass? We can bring those up, too. Like I'm I'm even being con- feeling Like I'm I'm even being con- feeling Like I'm I'm even being con- feeling convicted like, "Oh, I Friends have convicted like, "Oh, I Friends have convicted like, "Oh, I Friends have talked to me about stuff and I didn't talked to me about stuff and I didn't talked to me about stuff and I didn't say any say any say any I'm their friend. I didn't say anything. I'm their friend. I didn't say anything. I'm their friend. I didn't say anything. I let it pass." And like we should treat I let it pass." And like we should treat I let it pass." And like we should treat them with the same level of like kind of them with the same level of like kind of them with the same level of like kind of soberness, you know. soberness, you know. soberness, you know. >> And the respectable sins, I would also >> And the respectable sins, I would also >> And the respectable sins, I would also add those sins often times masquerade as add those sins often times masquerade as add those sins often times masquerade as good works. good works. good works. So, it goes back to the quote that you So, it goes back to the quote that you So, it goes back to the quote that you started with. So, I can serve someone started with. So, I can serve someone started with. So, I can serve someone else and still be in sin because I did else and still be in sin because I did else and still be in sin because I did it because I want someone to see me it because I want someone to see me it because I want someone to see me doing something good and not because I doing something good and not because I doing something good and not because I am loving and genuinely caring for that am loving and genuinely caring for that am loving and genuinely caring for that person as an image bearer of Christ. And person as an image bearer of Christ. And person as an image bearer of Christ. And so, nobody's going to know that you're so, nobody's going to know that you're so, nobody's going to know that you're in that sin unless you tell them. And in that sin unless you tell them. And in that sin unless you tell them. And you have to have trusted community you have to have trusted community you have to have trusted community enough to say, "Know me and know my enough to say, "Know me and know my enough to say, "Know me and know my heart that what I did just looked good, heart that what I did just looked good, heart that what I did just looked good, but actually it wasn't. And I need to but actually it wasn't. And I need to but actually it wasn't. And I need to tell someone that so that I don't keep tell someone that so that I don't keep tell someone that so that I don't keep doing it." Like that is to be known

doing it." Like that is to be known doing it." Like that is to be known >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> especially in these respectable sins. If >> especially in these respectable sins. If >> especially in these respectable sins. If we're talking about the people that Paul we're talking about the people that Paul we're talking about the people that Paul was talking to who were maybe in the was talking to who were maybe in the was talking to who were maybe in the second camp of, "Well, they do this, but second camp of, "Well, they do this, but second camp of, "Well, they do this, but I would never." When you're confronting I would never." When you're confronting I would never." When you're confronting that [clears throat] stuff, you got it. that [clears throat] stuff, you got it. that [clears throat] stuff, you got it. The only way for other people to know is The only way for other people to know is The only way for other people to know is for you to tell them. for you to tell them. for you to tell them. >> Mhm. That's good. >> Mhm. That's good. >> Mhm. That's good. >> That's good. The most vulnerable thing >> That's good. The most vulnerable thing >> That's good. The most vulnerable thing I've ever done with another person I've ever done with another person I've ever done with another person in the guise of spiritual growth has not in the guise of spiritual growth has not in the guise of spiritual growth has not been been been recovery and all the things that you recovery and all the things that you recovery and all the things that you confess there, it's been showing a buddy confess there, it's been showing a buddy confess there, it's been showing a buddy of mine my family budget. of mine my family budget. of mine my family budget. >> Mhm. Wow. >> Mhm. Wow. >> Mhm. Wow. >> And actually using the real numbers. >> And actually using the real numbers. >> And actually using the real numbers. >> [laughter] >> [laughter] >> [laughter] >> Dude, like >> Dude, like >> Dude, like >> Wait, did you create fake budgets? >> Wait, did you create fake budgets? >> Wait, did you create fake budgets? >> No. >> No. >> No. >> I was just curious. >> I was just curious. >> I was just curious. >> I was like, "The real thing is like but >> I was like, "The real thing is like but >> I was like, "The real thing is like but like again there's a pride in the and like again there's a pride in the and like again there's a pride in the and for me that was just like that for me that was just like that for me that was just like that stingingness that control like man. So I stingingness that control like man. So I stingingness that control like man. So I mean now here's the beautiful thing mean now here's the beautiful thing mean now here's the beautiful thing about this and then I want us to talk about this and then I want us to talk about this and then I want us to talk about just some practices that help us. about just some practices that help us. about just some practices that help us. There's again in all of these there's There's again in all of these there's There's again in all of these there's amazing just good news truth. One of the amazing just good news truth. One of the amazing just good news truth. One of the ones in this one that I think is so ones in this one that I think is so ones in this one that I think is so important for this is like you know how important for this is like you know how important for this is like you know how God deals with our respectable sins.

God deals with our respectable sins. God deals with our respectable sins. You know how he deals with the ways that You know how he deals with the ways that You know how he deals with the ways that we act like we're good and we're not. we act like we're good and we're not. we act like we're good and we're not. And kindness. I love that word. It is And kindness. I love that word. It is And kindness. I love that word. It is his kindness that leads us to his kindness that leads us to his kindness that leads us to repentance. Like that's the gift that repentance. Like that's the gift that repentance. Like that's the gift that Paul says is available for us. So what Paul says is available for us. So what Paul says is available for us. So what are some practices that keep you are some practices that keep you are some practices that keep you connected to God's kindness that leads connected to God's kindness that leads connected to God's kindness that leads to repentance? to repentance? to repentance? Whether it's a big sin, what we wouldn't Whether it's a big sin, what we wouldn't Whether it's a big sin, what we wouldn't call a respectable sin or respectable call a respectable sin or respectable call a respectable sin or respectable sin. What are some practices that just sin. What are some practices that just sin. What are some practices that just keep you in a place of receiving that keep you in a place of receiving that keep you in a place of receiving that kindness? kindness? kindness? >> I mean a big one is confession. I mean >> I mean a big one is confession. I mean >> I mean a big one is confession. I mean Paul talks about it. It's important and Paul talks about it. It's important and Paul talks about it. It's important and [snorts] having people in my life that I [snorts] having people in my life that I [snorts] having people in my life that I trust that confession also doesn't mean trust that confession also doesn't mean trust that confession also doesn't mean that you have to stand up on stage every that you have to stand up on stage every that you have to stand up on stage every week and confess every sin that you like week and confess every sin that you like week and confess every sin that you like that's also unhealthy. But like having that's also unhealthy. But like having that's also unhealthy. But like having some trusted people with the big, the some trusted people with the big, the some trusted people with the big, the quote unquote small, the things that are quote unquote small, the things that are quote unquote small, the things that are insidious and also people that will not insidious and also people that will not insidious and also people that will not I I purposely surround myself with I I purposely surround myself with I I purposely surround myself with people who don't let me kind of people who don't let me kind of people who don't let me kind of rationalize my way out of stuff, who rationalize my way out of stuff, who rationalize my way out of stuff, who have differing opinions than me, who have differing opinions than me, who have differing opinions than me, who will like talk to me like hey, I will like talk to me like hey, I will like talk to me like hey, I actually don't agree I don't think actually don't agree I don't think actually don't agree I don't think that's okay. You know like they're going that's okay. You know like they're going that's okay. You know like they're going to like push back and I need that too.

to like push back and I need that too. to like push back and I need that too. And so just people that I can confess to And so just people that I can confess to And so just people that I can confess to in that way cuz in that way cuz in that way cuz and confession also isn't just about and confession also isn't just about and confession also isn't just about sin. Confession is confession is just sin. Confession is confession is just sin. Confession is confession is just it means to be known. it means to be known. it means to be known. And so you you people that really know And so you you people that really know And so you you people that really know you and and then letting them continue you and and then letting them continue you and and then letting them continue to know you and not just know you at a to know you and not just know you at a to know you and not just know you at a moment in time but know you across time. moment in time but know you across time. moment in time but know you across time. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Love that. >> Love that. >> Love that. >> One I really have had to grow in over >> One I really have had to grow in over >> One I really have had to grow in over the years is confession and being known the years is confession and being known the years is confession and being known without justifications and caveats. And without justifications and caveats. And without justifications and caveats. And like exactly what you're saying Peter of like exactly what you're saying Peter of like exactly what you're saying Peter of like I would say something to like maybe like I would say something to like maybe like I would say something to like maybe a roommate be like hey I need to confess a roommate be like hey I need to confess a roommate be like hey I need to confess this and then would launch into a this and then would launch into a this and then would launch into a 15-minute spiel of why exactly how why 15-minute spiel of why exactly how why 15-minute spiel of why exactly how why it happened how it happened what I'm it happened how it happened what I'm it happened how it happened what I'm going to do next time to prevent it X Y going to do next time to prevent it X Y going to do next time to prevent it X Y and Z. I just remember one time a buddy and Z. I just remember one time a buddy and Z. I just remember one time a buddy being like why do you do that? Like being like why do you do that? Like being like why do you do that? Like [laughter] he's like this is exhausting [laughter] he's like this is exhausting [laughter] he's like this is exhausting and I'm like >> That's a good friend actually. >> That's a good friend actually. >> like you're right. I am I'm tired too >> like you're right. I am I'm tired too >> like you're right. I am I'm tired too and like but it's believing that like and like but it's believing that like and like but it's believing that like well God will forgive me if I understand well God will forgive me if I understand well God will forgive me if I understand every reason behind it and all and like every reason behind it and all and like every reason behind it and all and like here it's like here's the blood that here it's like here's the blood that here it's like here's the blood that covers me not my understanding of covers me not my understanding of covers me not my understanding of everything about it that covers me.

everything about it that covers me. everything about it that covers me. There's been a lot of freedom in just There's been a lot of freedom in just There's been a lot of freedom in just being like you know and it's good to be being like you know and it's good to be being like you know and it's good to be discerning and know the whys but like discerning and know the whys but like discerning and know the whys but like just be like here's where I failed. And just be like here's where I failed. And just be like here's where I failed. And having someone look at you and be like having someone look at you and be like having someone look at you and be like and you're forgiven and you're loved so. and you're forgiven and you're loved so. and you're forgiven and you're loved so. >> Yeah, I love it. I love it. Yeah, the >> Yeah, I love it. I love it. Yeah, the >> Yeah, I love it. I love it. Yeah, the through line in a lot of these practices through line in a lot of these practices through line in a lot of these practices is community like if this is why we need is community like if this is why we need is community like if this is why we need a body, right? This is when I say a body a body, right? This is when I say a body a body, right? This is when I say a body we need the community of believers. we need the community of believers. we need the community of believers. There are some aspects of God's grace I There are some aspects of God's grace I There are some aspects of God's grace I cannot experience unless I make myself cannot experience unless I make myself cannot experience unless I make myself vulnerable with you guys. vulnerable with you guys. vulnerable with you guys. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> You know or whatever whatever space >> You know or whatever whatever space >> You know or whatever whatever space you're in wherever you have that you're in wherever you have that you're in wherever you have that community. So man I I think confession I community. So man I I think confession I community. So man I I think confession I love what you said confession is to be love what you said confession is to be love what you said confession is to be known. known. known. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Um maybe that's something for you to >> Um maybe that's something for you to >> Um maybe that's something for you to think about today is where is the place think about today is where is the place think about today is where is the place where you may need to have more courage where you may need to have more courage where you may need to have more courage to be known in a place that makes sense to be known in a place that makes sense to be known in a place that makes sense psychologically safe. I'm not saying psychologically safe. I'm not saying psychologically safe. I'm not saying don't go on a stage and tell a whole don't go on a stage and tell a whole don't go on a stage and tell a whole bunch of people about your sin. That's bunch of people about your sin. That's bunch of people about your sin. That's not what I'm saying but there's maybe not what I'm saying but there's maybe not what I'm saying but there's maybe someone in your life that knows you at someone in your life that knows you at someone in your life that knows you at this level this level this level but they'd actually receive you if you but they'd actually receive you if you but they'd actually receive you if you wanted to invite them into something wanted to invite them into something wanted to invite them into something deeper. So think about how you might do deeper. So think about how you might do deeper. So think about how you might do that today.