Jesus on Relationships [Friendship] | Doug Sauder

You know, growing up, all all through my You know, growing up, all all through my childhood and teenage years, I was childhood and teenage years, I was childhood and teenage years, I was surrounded by friends in my neighborhood surrounded by friends in my neighborhood surrounded by friends in my neighborhood and plantation, this little bike gang, and plantation, this little bike gang, and plantation, this little bike gang, you know, going around playing football you know, going around playing football you know, going around playing football in the park and at school and class and in the park and at school and class and in the park and at school and class and on all the soccer teams and football on all the soccer teams and football on all the soccer teams and football teams and basketball teams. I was always teams and basketball teams. I was always teams and basketball teams. I was always surrounded by friends. And in in high surrounded by friends. And in in high surrounded by friends. And in in high school, the friendships weren't always, school, the friendships weren't always, school, the friendships weren't always, you know, the the right type of you know, the the right type of you know, the the right type of friendships cuz, you know, life at the friendships cuz, you know, life at the friendships cuz, you know, life at the party and all the things that happen party and all the things that happen party and all the things that happen when you're not connected to Jesus. But when you're not connected to Jesus. But when you're not connected to Jesus. But but I was never really alone. And then I but I was never really alone. And then I but I was never really alone. And then I became a Christian at 18 years old and became a Christian at 18 years old and became a Christian at 18 years old and all my friends sort of disappeared. And all my friends sort of disappeared. And all my friends sort of disappeared. And for the first time in my life, for the first time in my life, for the first time in my life, I was alone. On a Friday night, there I was alone. On a Friday night, there I was alone. On a Friday night, there was no one to call because all my was no one to call because all my was no one to call because all my friends were partying and that wasn't my friends were partying and that wasn't my friends were partying and that wasn't my life anymore. And though I found that life anymore. And though I found that life anymore. And though I found that God had met me in a place, he'd fill God had met me in a place, he'd fill God had met me in a place, he'd fill that that hole, that God-shaped hole in that that hole, that God-shaped hole in that that hole, that God-shaped hole in all of us that I was looking for, a all of us that I was looking for, a all of us that I was looking for, a sense of peace with God and purpose and sense of peace with God and purpose and sense of peace with God and purpose and joy. And it was worth it. joy. And it was worth it. joy. And it was worth it. that sense of loneliness, that aching, that sense of loneliness, that aching, that sense of loneliness, that aching, like there's got to be something more, like there's got to be something more, like there's got to be something more, it just wouldn't leave me.

it just wouldn't leave me. it just wouldn't leave me. And then I read this And then I read this And then I read this scripture in the book of Genesis, on the scripture in the book of Genesis, on the scripture in the book of Genesis, on the first few pages of the Bible about Adam first few pages of the Bible about Adam first few pages of the Bible about Adam in the Garden of Eden. And here's what in the Garden of Eden. And here's what in the Garden of Eden. And here's what it says about Adam in the garden. It is it says about Adam in the garden. It is it says about Adam in the garden. It is not good for the man to be alone. not good for the man to be alone. not good for the man to be alone. This is God speaking about Adam. Adam is This is God speaking about Adam. Adam is This is God speaking about Adam. Adam is in a perfect garden. Sin has not entered in a perfect garden. Sin has not entered in a perfect garden. Sin has not entered the world yet. Adam walks with God in the world yet. Adam walks with God in the world yet. Adam walks with God in the morning. He is deeply wired and the morning. He is deeply wired and the morning. He is deeply wired and connected to God, but has no earthly or connected to God, but has no earthly or connected to God, but has no earthly or human companion. And God says it's not human companion. And God says it's not human companion. And God says it's not good for him to be alone. And that's good for him to be alone. And that's good for him to be alone. And that's when it clicked that not only do we as when it clicked that not only do we as when it clicked that not only do we as human beings have a God-shaped hole that human beings have a God-shaped hole that human beings have a God-shaped hole that only he can fill in our lives, but we only he can fill in our lives, but we only he can fill in our lives, but we also have a human-shaped hole that only also have a human-shaped hole that only also have a human-shaped hole that only other people can fill in our lives. And other people can fill in our lives. And other people can fill in our lives. And we are wired for this deep connection. we are wired for this deep connection. we are wired for this deep connection. You see, the feeling a lot of us could You see, the feeling a lot of us could You see, the feeling a lot of us could have in a room like this is have in a room like this is have in a room like this is I'm alone and I'm the only one. But I'm alone and I'm the only one. But I'm alone and I'm the only one. But that's a lie. Because you are not alone that's a lie. Because you are not alone that's a lie. Because you are not alone in your loneliness. Every human being at in your loneliness. Every human being at in your loneliness. Every human being at different stages and moments of life different stages and moments of life different stages and moments of life will struggle with loneliness. I just will struggle with loneliness. I just will struggle with loneliness. I just got a new job. I don't know anyone. I'm got a new job. I don't know anyone. I'm got a new job. I don't know anyone. I'm going away to a new college. I'm not going away to a new college. I'm not going away to a new college. I'm not sure what it's going to be like. I I sure what it's going to be like. I I sure what it's going to be like. I I just uh went home to be with the kids just uh went home to be with the kids just uh went home to be with the kids and now I'm home and I I don't feel the and now I'm home and I I don't feel the and now I'm home and I I don't feel the connections I used to have. What do I do connections I used to have. What do I do connections I used to have. What do I do with that sense of loneliness? And to with that sense of loneliness? And to with that sense of loneliness? And to admit that you're lonely.

admit that you're lonely. admit that you're lonely. Well, that's tough cuz like if you Well, that's tough cuz like if you Well, that's tough cuz like if you alone, aren't people that are lonely, alone, aren't people that are lonely, alone, aren't people that are lonely, aren't they like losers? They don't have aren't they like losers? They don't have aren't they like losers? They don't have friends that no one wants to hang out friends that no one wants to hang out friends that no one wants to hang out with them. And I can't say that. So, I with them. And I can't say that. So, I with them. And I can't say that. So, I just say, "Praise the Lord. Life is just say, "Praise the Lord. Life is just say, "Praise the Lord. Life is good. I sing my songs. I read my Bible. good. I sing my songs. I read my Bible. good. I sing my songs. I read my Bible. I show up in church. I smile and wave." I show up in church. I smile and wave." I show up in church. I smile and wave." But inside, [sighs] But inside, [sighs] But inside, [sighs] and if we're honest, and if we're honest, and if we're honest, all of us have those moments. all of us have those moments. all of us have those moments. We are wired deeply to connect with God. We are wired deeply to connect with God. We are wired deeply to connect with God. And we are wired deeply to connect with And we are wired deeply to connect with And we are wired deeply to connect with others. And what the Bible teaches, others. And what the Bible teaches, others. And what the Bible teaches, social science confirms. I want to share social science confirms. I want to share social science confirms. I want to share with you a study. with you a study. with you a study. This is the longest longitudinal study This is the longest longitudinal study This is the longest longitudinal study of human health and happiness ever done of human health and happiness ever done of human health and happiness ever done by Harvard University. It began in 1934 by Harvard University. It began in 1934 by Harvard University. It began in 1934 and they were studying 724 men. It was and they were studying 724 men. It was and they were studying 724 men. It was going to follow them through adolescence going to follow them through adolescence going to follow them through adolescence all the way through old age and then all the way through old age and then all the way through old age and then their kids and grandkids. their kids and grandkids. their kids and grandkids. 724 men, 1300 of their descendants. This 724 men, 1300 of their descendants. This 724 men, 1300 of their descendants. This study has been in effect for 92 study has been in effect for 92 study has been in effect for 92 years. And they're looking for factors years. And they're looking for factors years. And they're looking for factors that lead to happiness in life and that lead to happiness in life and that lead to happiness in life and longevity in life. How what are habits longevity in life. How what are habits longevity in life. How what are habits that help people stay healthy and happy?

that help people stay healthy and happy? that help people stay healthy and happy? And so they started looking at all these And so they started looking at all these And so they started looking at all these different factors individually. Is it different factors individually. Is it different factors individually. Is it money? If you have more money, will you money? If you have more money, will you money? If you have more money, will you be happier and live longer? Is it good be happier and live longer? Is it good be happier and live longer? Is it good physical health? If you work out and physical health? If you work out and physical health? If you work out and sleep good and have proper diet, is that sleep good and have proper diet, is that sleep good and have proper diet, is that going to help you to live a longer and going to help you to live a longer and going to help you to live a longer and happier life? What what about happier life? What what about happier life? What what about IQ? Well, if you're smarter than IQ? Well, if you're smarter than IQ? Well, if you're smarter than everyone else, well, certainly you're everyone else, well, certainly you're everyone else, well, certainly you're going to have a better life because going to have a better life because going to have a better life because you're going to make better decisions. you're going to make better decisions. you're going to make better decisions. And all of those factors pad in And all of those factors pad in And all of those factors pad in comparison comparison comparison to this one factor that was more to this one factor that was more to this one factor that was more dominant than any other factor in dominant than any other factor in dominant than any other factor in producing a life of health and producing a life of health and producing a life of health and happiness. And it was deep happiness. And it was deep happiness. And it was deep relationships, social relationships, social relationships, social connection. Harvard stumbled across connection. Harvard stumbled across connection. Harvard stumbled across something we could have read in the something we could have read in the something we could have read in the second page of our Bible. It is not good second page of our Bible. It is not good second page of our Bible. It is not good for you to be alone. We are wired to for you to be alone. We are wired to for you to be alone. We are wired to connect with other people. In fact, connect with other people. In fact, connect with other people. In fact, they they really looked closely at the they they really looked closely at the they they really looked closely at the difference between physical fitness and difference between physical fitness and difference between physical fitness and what they called social fitness. And what they called social fitness. And what they called social fitness. And they discovered that you are better off they discovered that you are better off they discovered that you are better off having strong deep connections and being having strong deep connections and being having strong deep connections and being unhealthy unhealthy unhealthy than you are being super healthy when than you are being super healthy when than you are being super healthy when having no social connection. So, here's having no social connection. So, here's having no social connection. So, here's how I conclude the whole study. You are how I conclude the whole study. You are how I conclude the whole study. You are better off eating Twinkies with friends better off eating Twinkies with friends better off eating Twinkies with friends than you are eating broccoli all by than you are eating broccoli all by than you are eating broccoli all by yourself.

yourself. yourself. Some of you guys, that's all you're Some of you guys, that's all you're Some of you guys, that's all you're gonna remember from the sermon. You're gonna remember from the sermon. You're gonna remember from the sermon. You're gonna go home and go, I need to eat some gonna go home and go, I need to eat some gonna go home and go, I need to eat some Twinkies with my friends. Twinkies with my friends. Twinkies with my friends. And we think about social connections And we think about social connections And we think about social connections and how they help us to live the full and how they help us to live the full and how they help us to live the full life that God created for us. Well, life that God created for us. Well, life that God created for us. Well, they just re released some data about they just re released some data about they just re released some data about how many people now eat meals how many people now eat meals how many people now eat meals all by themselves. all by themselves. all by themselves. More people eat meals by themselves than More people eat meals by themselves than More people eat meals by themselves than people who eat meals with other people. people who eat meals with other people. people who eat meals with other people. What's happening? The places of social What's happening? The places of social What's happening? The places of social connection where we get to know each connection where we get to know each connection where we get to know each other, where we look each other in the other, where we look each other in the other, where we look each other in the eyes, these social connections are being eyes, these social connections are being eyes, these social connections are being frayed by all sorts of factors. The frayed by all sorts of factors. The frayed by all sorts of factors. The busyiness factor, the remote work busyiness factor, the remote work busyiness factor, the remote work factor. I work from home now. COVID factor. I work from home now. COVID factor. I work from home now. COVID created social distancing. And then of created social distancing. And then of created social distancing. And then of course there's this thing this thing course there's this thing this thing course there's this thing this thing that we touch 2600 times a day. This that we touch 2600 times a day. This that we touch 2600 times a day. This thing that if you're walking away and thing that if you're walking away and thing that if you're walking away and you can't find you, [panting] okay, okay, I'm not talking about myself. I have I'm not talking about myself. I have I'm not talking about myself. I have friends that that do that.

friends that that do that. friends that that do that. This thing that causes us to miss This thing that causes us to miss This thing that causes us to miss moments where we're with the most moments where we're with the most moments where we're with the most important people in our lives and we important people in our lives and we important people in our lives and we have this distracted have this distracted have this distracted the thing that robs us of eye contact. the thing that robs us of eye contact. the thing that robs us of eye contact. One of the deepest ways we socially One of the deepest ways we socially One of the deepest ways we socially connect with other people connect with other people connect with other people and it creates this level of distraction and it creates this level of distraction and it creates this level of distraction and addiction that makes us feel and addiction that makes us feel and addiction that makes us feel connected with a thousand people but connected with a thousand people but connected with a thousand people but really we're not connected at all. really we're not connected at all. really we're not connected at all. This is happening in our world. We're This is happening in our world. We're This is happening in our world. We're eating together less. We're more eating together less. We're more eating together less. We're more distracted. We're less engaged. distracted. We're less engaged. distracted. We're less engaged. And we see in the first few pages of And we see in the first few pages of And we see in the first few pages of Bible, it's not good for us to be alone. Bible, it's not good for us to be alone. Bible, it's not good for us to be alone. It's not good for us to be isolated. In It's not good for us to be isolated. In It's not good for us to be isolated. In fact, this this loneliness epidemic was fact, this this loneliness epidemic was fact, this this loneliness epidemic was described by the US surgeon general in described by the US surgeon general in described by the US surgeon general in 2023 after COVID and after all the 2023 after COVID and after all the 2023 after COVID and after all the things. And he he described loneliness things. And he he described loneliness things. And he he described loneliness as a national public health epidemic. as a national public health epidemic. as a national public health epidemic. And here's the line from his report. And here's the line from his report. And here's the line from his report. Isolation Isolation Isolation is as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a is as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a is as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

day. day. Now, this is science. Now, this is science. Now, this is science. Say, yeah, if you if you really think Say, yeah, if you if you really think Say, yeah, if you if you really think like that's crazy smoking 15 cigarettes like that's crazy smoking 15 cigarettes like that's crazy smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It's just as crazy to be all by a day. It's just as crazy to be all by a day. It's just as crazy to be all by yourself and let anxiety take its place yourself and let anxiety take its place yourself and let anxiety take its place in your heart and let depression make in your heart and let depression make in your heart and let depression make you feel more and more disconnected from you feel more and more disconnected from you feel more and more disconnected from other people. and you find yourself other people. and you find yourself other people. and you find yourself going into yourself and that pressure going into yourself and that pressure going into yourself and that pressure and stress and burden and feeling of I'm and stress and burden and feeling of I'm and stress and burden and feeling of I'm all by myself is not how you were wired all by myself is not how you were wired all by myself is not how you were wired to live. to live. to live. And so one of the questions we want to And so one of the questions we want to And so one of the questions we want to ask ourselves is like so so what happens ask ourselves is like so so what happens ask ourselves is like so so what happens when you have all these connections but when you have all these connections but when you have all these connections but none of them are deep none of them are deep none of them are deep like as we're the most connected like as we're the most connected like as we're the most connected generation right now I can FaceTime generation right now I can FaceTime generation right now I can FaceTime someone in Singapore and I can in real someone in Singapore and I can in real someone in Singapore and I can in real time be connected with them. But here's time be connected with them. But here's time be connected with them. But here's the challenge with these relationships the challenge with these relationships the challenge with these relationships that are a thousand miles wide and a that are a thousand miles wide and a that are a thousand miles wide and a half inch deep. Well, Solomon says it half inch deep. Well, Solomon says it half inch deep. Well, Solomon says it this way. this way. this way. A man of many companions may come to A man of many companions may come to A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there's a friend who sticks ruin, but there's a friend who sticks ruin, but there's a friend who sticks closer than a brother. What is Solomon closer than a brother. What is Solomon closer than a brother. What is Solomon saying? He's saying if you have a lot of saying? He's saying if you have a lot of saying? He's saying if you have a lot of friends, you're in big trouble. What?

friends, you're in big trouble. What? friends, you're in big trouble. What? Yeah. If you have a thousand friends, Yeah. If you have a thousand friends, Yeah. If you have a thousand friends, you're in big trouble. Because when you you're in big trouble. Because when you you're in big trouble. Because when you need to call someone, you're going to need to call someone, you're going to need to call someone, you're going to realize you don't have a thousand realize you don't have a thousand realize you don't have a thousand friends, you have a thousand companions, friends, you have a thousand companions, friends, you have a thousand companions, a thousand connections that are about a thousand connections that are about a thousand connections that are about this deep. But if you could find a this deep. But if you could find a this deep. But if you could find a friend who sticks closer than a brother friend who sticks closer than a brother friend who sticks closer than a brother who will pick up your phone call in a who will pick up your phone call in a who will pick up your phone call in a time of need, then you'll never be alone time of need, then you'll never be alone time of need, then you'll never be alone in the world again. in the world again. in the world again. And so in all of this, And so in all of this, And so in all of this, we're going to let Jesus speak because we're going to let Jesus speak because we're going to let Jesus speak because you're like, "Man, I came to church you're like, "Man, I came to church you're like, "Man, I came to church today to be encouraged about today to be encouraged about today to be encouraged about relationships and frankly, I'm relationships and frankly, I'm relationships and frankly, I'm depressed. I want to go Twinkie with my depressed. I want to go Twinkie with my depressed. I want to go Twinkie with my friend. I mean, this is this is tough friend. I mean, this is this is tough friend. I mean, this is this is tough stuff. All right, so everyone take a stuff. All right, so everyone take a stuff. All right, so everyone take a deep breath. deep breath. deep breath. [sighs] [sighs] [sighs] In all of this, Jesus is going to speak In all of this, Jesus is going to speak In all of this, Jesus is going to speak into this cultural moment. He's going to into this cultural moment. He's going to into this cultural moment. He's going to show us what friendship is about. He's show us what friendship is about. He's show us what friendship is about. He's going to speak about it. He's going to going to speak about it. He's going to going to speak about it. He's going to model it. And as followers of Jesus, we model it. And as followers of Jesus, we model it. And as followers of Jesus, we would be wise to pay attention. How did would be wise to pay attention. How did would be wise to pay attention. How did Jesus make friends? What did his Jesus make friends? What did his Jesus make friends? What did his friendships look like? How long did they friendships look like? How long did they friendships look like? How long did they last? How did he navigate all the last? How did he navigate all the last? How did he navigate all the things? And we're going to see this as things? And we're going to see this as things? And we're going to see this as we look at Mark chapter 3 verse4.

we look at Mark chapter 3 verse4. we look at Mark chapter 3 verse4. This describes his introduction moment This describes his introduction moment This describes his introduction moment where he invites 12 men to be his where he invites 12 men to be his where he invites 12 men to be his friends and to walk with him for the friends and to walk with him for the friends and to walk with him for the next three years. Says he appointed 12 next three years. Says he appointed 12 next three years. Says he appointed 12 that they may be with him and that he that they may be with him and that he that they may be with him and that he might send them out to preach. might send them out to preach. might send them out to preach. He picked these 12 men after praying all He picked these 12 men after praying all He picked these 12 men after praying all night long. He wanted to be with them. night long. He wanted to be with them. night long. He wanted to be with them. and he wanted to send them on a mission. and he wanted to send them on a mission. and he wanted to send them on a mission. These two things are are descripts with These two things are are descripts with These two things are are descripts with the disciples on and on. So what does the disciples on and on. So what does the disciples on and on. So what does this look like? He wanted to be with this look like? He wanted to be with this look like? He wanted to be with them. them. them. Well, if you read the first description Well, if you read the first description Well, if you read the first description of how he met the disciples, the of how he met the disciples, the of how he met the disciples, the disciples were looking on at Jesus. He disciples were looking on at Jesus. He disciples were looking on at Jesus. He was teaching. People were following him was teaching. People were following him was teaching. People were following him and they asked him a question. Hey and they asked him a question. Hey and they asked him a question. Hey Jesus, where are you sleeping tonight? Jesus, where are you sleeping tonight? Jesus, where are you sleeping tonight? And he says, come and see. And then the And he says, come and see. And then the And he says, come and see. And then the Bible describes they spent the entire Bible describes they spent the entire Bible describes they spent the entire day with Jesus. I wonder what that was day with Jesus. I wonder what that was day with Jesus. I wonder what that was like. That first meal, that second meal, like. That first meal, that second meal, like. That first meal, that second meal, that conversation, where' they walk, that conversation, where' they walk, that conversation, where' they walk, what did they do? And then they started what did they do? And then they started what did they do? And then they started bringing their friends, their brothers, bringing their friends, their brothers, bringing their friends, their brothers, and this band of disciples began to and this band of disciples began to and this band of disciples began to follow Jesus for the next three years.

follow Jesus for the next three years. follow Jesus for the next three years. They ate together. They traveled They ate together. They traveled They ate together. They traveled together. They they slept together. They together. They they slept together. They together. They they slept together. They went through uh moments of high high went through uh moments of high high went through uh moments of high high miraculous like winds and then some miraculous like winds and then some miraculous like winds and then some really difficult losses and setbacks. really difficult losses and setbacks. really difficult losses and setbacks. They worked some 20our days together and They worked some 20our days together and They worked some 20our days together and then they retreated and had a totally un then they retreated and had a totally un then they retreated and had a totally un cluttered time of just kind of hanging cluttered time of just kind of hanging cluttered time of just kind of hanging out together. out together. out together. And Jesus, And Jesus, And Jesus, he huddles his disciples together now he huddles his disciples together now he huddles his disciples together now because he knows he's about to be because he knows he's about to be because he knows he's about to be crucified. crucified. crucified. And he says this to his disciples. And he says this to his disciples. And he says this to his disciples. I no longer call you servants I no longer call you servants I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his because a servant does not know his because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I've called master's business. Instead, I've called master's business. Instead, I've called you friends. For everything I learned you friends. For everything I learned you friends. For everything I learned from my father, I have made known to from my father, I have made known to from my father, I have made known to you. you. you. Jesus reiterates Jesus reiterates Jesus reiterates what the Bible's been talking about for what the Bible's been talking about for what the Bible's been talking about for centuries. centuries. centuries. Jesus reveals the heart of his father Jesus reveals the heart of his father Jesus reveals the heart of his father that God wants to be that God wants to be that God wants to be your friend. Right? What your friend. Right? What your friend. Right? What that the creator of the universe that the creator of the universe that the creator of the universe wants to be your friend. He he gave us wants to be your friend. He he gave us wants to be your friend. He he gave us glimpses when we look at Adam and Eve glimpses when we look at Adam and Eve glimpses when we look at Adam and Eve walking in the garden. God would walk walking in the garden. God would walk walking in the garden. God would walk with Adam and Eve in the cool of the with Adam and Eve in the cool of the with Adam and Eve in the cool of the morning. This picture of friendship, morning. This picture of friendship, morning. This picture of friendship, hey, let's go on a walk. This picture of hey, let's go on a walk. This picture of hey, let's go on a walk. This picture of Abraham being called a friend of God.

Abraham being called a friend of God. Abraham being called a friend of God. this picture of Moses who would talk to this picture of Moses who would talk to this picture of Moses who would talk to God face to face like a man talks to his God face to face like a man talks to his God face to face like a man talks to his friend. And Jesus is like, I'm here to friend. And Jesus is like, I'm here to friend. And Jesus is like, I'm here to reveal the father. I'm here to show you reveal the father. I'm here to show you reveal the father. I'm here to show you how the father loves. I don't just want how the father loves. I don't just want how the father loves. I don't just want to use you for my mission. You're not to use you for my mission. You're not to use you for my mission. You're not just useful for me. I actually like you. just useful for me. I actually like you. just useful for me. I actually like you. And there's a big difference between And there's a big difference between And there's a big difference between being in partnership with someone or being in partnership with someone or being in partnership with someone or even loving someone and liking them. even loving someone and liking them. even loving someone and liking them. Let's just be honest. Let's just be honest. Let's just be honest. You know, you know why God loves you? You know, you know why God loves you? You know, you know why God loves you? Because he has to. Because he has to. Because he has to. in your family. In your family, you have in your family. In your family, you have in your family. In your family, you have to love them. You're you're family. You to love them. You're you're family. You to love them. You're you're family. You have no choice, but you might not like have no choice, but you might not like have no choice, but you might not like them. There's a difference between I them. There's a difference between I them. There's a difference between I love you and I like you. I like you is love you and I like you. I like you is love you and I like you. I like you is looking at someone and say, "I am looking at someone and say, "I am looking at someone and say, "I am genuinely glad you were born and I'm genuinely glad you were born and I'm genuinely glad you were born and I'm genuinely glad to be in a relationship genuinely glad to be in a relationship genuinely glad to be in a relationship with you." That's a whole another level. with you." That's a whole another level. with you." That's a whole another level. God doesn't just love you. He likes you. God doesn't just love you. He likes you. God doesn't just love you. He likes you. He's got your picture on his fridge. I He's got your picture on his fridge. I He's got your picture on his fridge. I mean, he's proud of you. mean, he's proud of you. mean, he's proud of you. >> [clears throat] >> [clears throat] >> [clears throat] >> And this is what Jesus reveals. I'm not >> And this is what Jesus reveals. I'm not >> And this is what Jesus reveals. I'm not just calling you my servants. I'm just calling you my servants. I'm just calling you my servants. I'm calling you my friends. And he gives him calling you my friends. And he gives him calling you my friends. And he gives him this beautiful vision of friendship. And this beautiful vision of friendship. And this beautiful vision of friendship. And then he says things like, "Hey," and so then he says things like, "Hey," and so then he says things like, "Hey," and so I want to make this invitation not just I want to make this invitation not just I want to make this invitation not just to the disciples 2,000 years ago, but to to the disciples 2,000 years ago, but to to the disciples 2,000 years ago, but to you. Remain in my love. Abide in my you. Remain in my love. Abide in my you. Remain in my love. Abide in my love. Walk with me. And what does it love. Walk with me. And what does it love. Walk with me. And what does it look like to have a friendship with look like to have a friendship with look like to have a friendship with Jesus today?

Jesus today? Jesus today? On the same way Abraham spent time On the same way Abraham spent time On the same way Abraham spent time walking with God, Moses spent time in walking with God, Moses spent time in walking with God, Moses spent time in God's presence, we can also learn to God's presence, we can also learn to God's presence, we can also learn to have a friendship have a friendship have a friendship with Jesus. with Jesus. with Jesus. What does it mean to have a friendship What does it mean to have a friendship What does it mean to have a friendship with Jesus? with Jesus? with Jesus? Well, was I was preparing for this Well, was I was preparing for this Well, was I was preparing for this message. I I thought of a couple message. I I thought of a couple message. I I thought of a couple moments. One was like this last Tuesday moments. One was like this last Tuesday moments. One was like this last Tuesday morning, I woke up and morning, I woke up and morning, I woke up and the sky was painted with this incredible the sky was painted with this incredible the sky was painted with this incredible sunrise. sunrise. sunrise. And I could have said, "God, thanks for And I could have said, "God, thanks for And I could have said, "God, thanks for the sunrise. the sunrise. the sunrise. But for some reason, because this was on But for some reason, because this was on But for some reason, because this was on my mind, I just said, "Jesus, my mind, I just said, "Jesus, my mind, I just said, "Jesus, thanks for making that for me." thanks for making that for me." thanks for making that for me." And it's just like just this moment of And it's just like just this moment of And it's just like just this moment of connection. connection. connection. Or before I walk out here, Or before I walk out here, Or before I walk out here, [clears throat] I could say, "Jesus, [clears throat] I could say, "Jesus, [clears throat] I could say, "Jesus, here we go. We're doing this together." here we go. We're doing this together." here we go. We're doing this together." Because I don't know if you know this or Because I don't know if you know this or Because I don't know if you know this or not, but Jesus doesn't need me or you, not, but Jesus doesn't need me or you, not, but Jesus doesn't need me or you, but he delights to use us in this but he delights to use us in this but he delights to use us in this beautiful friendship and partnership. beautiful friendship and partnership. beautiful friendship and partnership. This is what it means to have a This is what it means to have a This is what it means to have a friendship with Jesus. friendship with Jesus. friendship with Jesus. But he also invites us to have a But he also invites us to have a But he also invites us to have a friendship with others. And so I'm going friendship with others. And so I'm going friendship with others. And so I'm going to ask you this question that maybe to ask you this question that maybe to ask you this question that maybe you've never asked yourself before that you've never asked yourself before that you've never asked yourself before that Jesus invites us to ask. And that's Jesus invites us to ask. And that's Jesus invites us to ask. And that's this. What is your vision this. What is your vision this. What is your vision for friendship?

for friendship? for friendship? Your vision for your entire life if it's Your vision for your entire life if it's Your vision for your entire life if it's the most important thing according to the most important thing according to the most important thing according to God's word and the researchers on human God's word and the researchers on human God's word and the researchers on human health and happiness. health and happiness. health and happiness. Do you have a vision for your Do you have a vision for your Do you have a vision for your friendships? Because because most of us friendships? Because because most of us friendships? Because because most of us have a vision for our money. We have a have a vision for our money. We have a have a vision for our money. We have a financial planner. We do our budget. We financial planner. We do our budget. We financial planner. We do our budget. We vision if I save, here's what I'll be vision if I save, here's what I'll be vision if I save, here's what I'll be able to accomplish. We have a vision for able to accomplish. We have a vision for able to accomplish. We have a vision for our education. I'm going to get this our education. I'm going to get this our education. I'm going to get this degree and this degree and this degree. degree and this degree and this degree. degree and this degree and this degree. We have we have a vision for our We have we have a vision for our We have we have a vision for our parenting. I want my kids to go from parenting. I want my kids to go from parenting. I want my kids to go from here to here to here. We have we have a here to here to here. We have we have a here to here to here. We have we have a vision for lots of things, but almost no vision for lots of things, but almost no vision for lots of things, but almost no one has a vision for friendship. one has a vision for friendship. one has a vision for friendship. And yet, if it's one of the most And yet, if it's one of the most And yet, if it's one of the most important factors and Jesus models us, important factors and Jesus models us, important factors and Jesus models us, well, we would be wise to consider what well, we would be wise to consider what well, we would be wise to consider what would those friendships look like? And would those friendships look like? And would those friendships look like? And so I want us to see four things that we so I want us to see four things that we so I want us to see four things that we see Jesus do that if we put into see Jesus do that if we put into see Jesus do that if we put into practice, it would deepen our friendship practice, it would deepen our friendship practice, it would deepen our friendship and give us a broader vision of how can and give us a broader vision of how can and give us a broader vision of how can I experience this beautiful gift that I experience this beautiful gift that I experience this beautiful gift that God has given. And so I'm going to give God has given. And so I'm going to give God has given. And so I'm going to give you four points right up front and then you four points right up front and then you four points right up front and then we're going to go through them one at a we're going to go through them one at a we're going to go through them one at a time. Here it is. If you want to grow in time. Here it is. If you want to grow in time. Here it is. If you want to grow in friendship, you got to take a risk. You friendship, you got to take a risk. You friendship, you got to take a risk. You got to show up. You got to call up. And got to show up. You got to call up. And got to show up. You got to call up. And you got to take off your mask.

you got to take off your mask. you got to take off your mask. All right. So, you ready? We're gonna do All right. So, you ready? We're gonna do All right. So, you ready? We're gonna do this one at a time. Everybody ready? this one at a time. Everybody ready? this one at a time. Everybody ready? >> Wow, that was so enthusiastic. >> Wow, that was so enthusiastic. >> Wow, that was so enthusiastic. [clears throat] [clears throat] [clears throat] Is everybody ready? Is everybody ready? Is everybody ready? >> Okay, here we go. First [snorts] one, >> Okay, here we go. First [snorts] one, >> Okay, here we go. First [snorts] one, take a risk. take a risk. take a risk. Friendship is a risk. Friendship is a risk. Friendship is a risk. Why is friendship a risk? Because if I Why is friendship a risk? Because if I Why is friendship a risk? Because if I put myself out there and you do this, put myself out there and you do this, put myself out there and you do this, no, thank you. I feel rejected. I don't no, thank you. I feel rejected. I don't no, thank you. I feel rejected. I don't want to feel rejected. want to feel rejected. want to feel rejected. Or if you put yourself out there and Or if you put yourself out there and Or if you put yourself out there and someone starts a relationship with you, someone starts a relationship with you, someone starts a relationship with you, they could hurt you. They could use you. they could hurt you. They could use you. they could hurt you. They could use you. They could betray you. They could betray you. They could betray you. Anybody know what I'm talking about? Anybody know what I'm talking about? Anybody know what I'm talking about? Jesus knows this and chooses friends Jesus knows this and chooses friends Jesus knows this and chooses friends anyway. He chooses 12 and one of them anyway. He chooses 12 and one of them anyway. He chooses 12 and one of them was named Judas. was named Judas. was named Judas. And here's the description of Judas in And here's the description of Judas in And here's the description of Judas in Psalm 41. Even my close friend, someone Psalm 41. Even my close friend, someone Psalm 41. Even my close friend, someone I trusted who shared my bread, has I trusted who shared my bread, has I trusted who shared my bread, has turned against me.

turned against me. turned against me. Jesus knew he would be betrayed Jesus knew he would be betrayed Jesus knew he would be betrayed and it would lead to his death because and it would lead to his death because and it would lead to his death because of a close friend and he chose of a close friend and he chose of a close friend and he chose friendship friendship friendship anyway. anyway. anyway. Just let that rest on you for a second. Just let that rest on you for a second. Just let that rest on you for a second. Some of you like, I I can't make friends Some of you like, I I can't make friends Some of you like, I I can't make friends because I've been hurt. because I've been hurt. because I've been hurt. Listen, Listen, Listen, the only risk greater than starting a the only risk greater than starting a the only risk greater than starting a relationship that leads to your hurt is relationship that leads to your hurt is relationship that leads to your hurt is not starting a relationship at all. You not starting a relationship at all. You not starting a relationship at all. You see, we read through Ecclesiastes in see, we read through Ecclesiastes in see, we read through Ecclesiastes in Ecclesiastes chapter 4. Solomon Ecclesiastes chapter 4. Solomon Ecclesiastes chapter 4. Solomon describes a man. He says, "This man was describes a man. He says, "This man was describes a man. He says, "This man was all alone. He didn't have a a son to all alone. He didn't have a a son to all alone. He didn't have a a son to take his inheritance. He didn't have a take his inheritance. He didn't have a take his inheritance. He didn't have a friend to walk with him and protect him. friend to walk with him and protect him. friend to walk with him and protect him. And everything he was doing in life And everything he was doing in life And everything he was doing in life though it looked very successful was though it looked very successful was though it looked very successful was meaningless meaningless meaningless because he was all because he was all because he was all alone. And then and then Solomon gives alone. And then and then Solomon gives alone. And then and then Solomon gives this vision of why friendship is so this vision of why friendship is so this vision of why friendship is so important because two are better than important because two are better than important because two are better than one because they have a good return for one because they have a good return for one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls their labor. If either of them falls their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But down, one can help the other up. But down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who fail falls and has no pity anyone who fail falls and has no pity anyone who fail falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie one to help them up. Also, if two lie one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But down together, they will keep warm. But down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one how can one keep warm alone? Though one how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend may be overpowered, two can defend may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. And a cord of three strands themselves. And a cord of three strands themselves. And a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

is not quickly broken. is not quickly broken. The only thing worth or worse than The only thing worth or worse than The only thing worth or worse than taking a risk and getting hurt is never taking a risk and getting hurt is never taking a risk and getting hurt is never taking the risk. Is never trying. taking the risk. Is never trying. taking the risk. Is never trying. Because if that's the case, you won't Because if that's the case, you won't Because if that's the case, you won't get hurt, but you'll be all alone. And get hurt, but you'll be all alone. And get hurt, but you'll be all alone. And when you need help, there'll be no one when you need help, there'll be no one when you need help, there'll be no one there to keep you warm or defend you or there to keep you warm or defend you or there to keep you warm or defend you or fight for you or help you. fight for you or help you. fight for you or help you. Solomon says, "You don't want to be that Solomon says, "You don't want to be that Solomon says, "You don't want to be that isolated man." And so for me, isolated man." And so for me, isolated man." And so for me, it was the fall of 1988. I walked onto it was the fall of 1988. I walked onto it was the fall of 1988. I walked onto the campus of Florida International the campus of Florida International the campus of Florida International University. And at this point in my University. And at this point in my University. And at this point in my life, for the first time in my life, I life, for the first time in my life, I life, for the first time in my life, I had no friends. had no friends. had no friends. I knew Jesus. I was learning again to I knew Jesus. I was learning again to I knew Jesus. I was learning again to walk with him and and learning his word. walk with him and and learning his word. walk with him and and learning his word. And but I I didn't know where to look. And but I I didn't know where to look. And but I I didn't know where to look. And so I went to the student union. I And so I went to the student union. I And so I went to the student union. I saw this table. It said Interverity saw this table. It said Interverity saw this table. It said Interverity Christian Fellowship. And so I I found Christian Fellowship. And so I I found Christian Fellowship. And so I I found out they were having meetings on like a out they were having meetings on like a out they were having meetings on like a Thursday night. And so I just showed up Thursday night. And so I just showed up Thursday night. And so I just showed up and and I saw people that were very and and I saw people that were very and and I saw people that were very different than me. I met for the first different than me. I met for the first different than me. I met for the first time a Pentecostal. time a Pentecostal. time a Pentecostal. Anybody meet a Pentecostal for the first Anybody meet a Pentecostal for the first Anybody meet a Pentecostal for the first time? You're like, "What? What is that?" time? You're like, "What? What is that?" time? You're like, "What? What is that?" I met Presbyterians and Baptists. I met I met Presbyterians and Baptists. I met I met Presbyterians and Baptists. I met people from all over the world. Florida people from all over the world. Florida people from all over the world. Florida International University, International University, International University, people who spoke different languages, people who spoke different languages, people who spoke different languages, who had different cultures, but there who had different cultures, but there who had different cultures, but there was something about when they worshiped was something about when they worshiped was something about when they worshiped that they all loved Jesus. And there was that they all loved Jesus. And there was that they all loved Jesus. And there was something about that thing that was something about that thing that was something about that thing that was like, I don't know how all these people like, I don't know how all these people like, I don't know how all these people fit together, but they love Jesus, so fit together, but they love Jesus, so fit together, but they love Jesus, so I'm just going to give this a shot. It I'm just going to give this a shot. It I'm just going to give this a shot. It was a risk.

was a risk. was a risk. You see, sometimes when we think about You see, sometimes when we think about You see, sometimes when we think about friendship, like, okay, Doug, I'm with friendship, like, okay, Doug, I'm with friendship, like, okay, Doug, I'm with you so far. I love God. I I love his you so far. I love God. I I love his you so far. I love God. I I love his word. I want to make friends. I feel word. I want to make friends. I feel word. I want to make friends. I feel that sense of loneliness, but do you that sense of loneliness, but do you that sense of loneliness, but do you know how hard it is to make friends? know how hard it is to make friends? know how hard it is to make friends? Yeah. And sometimes I hear people say, Yeah. And sometimes I hear people say, Yeah. And sometimes I hear people say, you know, my only friend is Jesus or I you know, my only friend is Jesus or I you know, my only friend is Jesus or I only trust God. And and that's code for only trust God. And and that's code for only trust God. And and that's code for I'm going to be all by myself. It's a I'm going to be all by myself. It's a I'm going to be all by myself. It's a rejection of the way you are wired. You rejection of the way you are wired. You rejection of the way you are wired. You are wired not to connect with God alone are wired not to connect with God alone are wired not to connect with God alone but with his people. And so it sounds but with his people. And so it sounds but with his people. And so it sounds spiritual at first. And our ultimate spiritual at first. And our ultimate spiritual at first. And our ultimate trust is only in God. But he creates trust is only in God. But he creates trust is only in God. But he creates this outflow in relation with him that this outflow in relation with him that this outflow in relation with him that flows into other relationships. And so flows into other relationships. And so flows into other relationships. And so as you think about the groups that maybe as you think about the groups that maybe as you think about the groups that maybe you would navigate towards or the you would navigate towards or the you would navigate towards or the friendships you would try to there's a friendships you would try to there's a friendships you would try to there's a tendency to go, you know, but I like him tendency to go, you know, but I like him tendency to go, you know, but I like him but he talks too much or I like her but but he talks too much or I like her but but he talks too much or I like her but she seems too aloof or I like that group she seems too aloof or I like that group she seems too aloof or I like that group but they're not like me in this way. And but they're not like me in this way. And but they're not like me in this way. And we can already write people off in a we can already write people off in a we can already write people off in a sort of little internal judgy way sort of little internal judgy way sort of little internal judgy way because it's not exactly what we want it because it's not exactly what we want it because it's not exactly what we want it to be. And and there's a a theologian to be. And and there's a a theologian to be. And and there's a a theologian named Dietri Bonhoffer who warned us named Dietri Bonhoffer who warned us named Dietri Bonhoffer who warned us against putting this trip on other against putting this trip on other against putting this trip on other people to be the perfect community people to be the perfect community people to be the perfect community before we join. And here's what he says.

before we join. And here's what he says. before we join. And here's what he says. Those who love the dream of a Christian Those who love the dream of a Christian Those who love the dream of a Christian community more than they love the community more than they love the community more than they love the Christian community itself become Christian community itself become Christian community itself become destroyers of that Christian community. destroyers of that Christian community. destroyers of that Christian community. Even though their personal intentions Even though their personal intentions Even though their personal intentions may be ever so honest, earnest, and may be ever so honest, earnest, and may be ever so honest, earnest, and sacrificial, sacrificial, sacrificial, he's saying, "Don't be that person who's he's saying, "Don't be that person who's he's saying, "Don't be that person who's waiting for the perfect community." waiting for the perfect community." waiting for the perfect community." Because if you find a perfect community, Because if you find a perfect community, Because if you find a perfect community, whatever you do, don't join it because whatever you do, don't join it because whatever you do, don't join it because you're going to mess it up. you're going to mess it up. you're going to mess it up. Every community is imperfectly Every community is imperfectly Every community is imperfectly perfect. perfect. perfect. And so, you're going to have to at some And so, you're going to have to at some And so, you're going to have to at some point take a risk with a certain group point take a risk with a certain group point take a risk with a certain group of people. If you're feeling that sense of people. If you're feeling that sense of people. If you're feeling that sense of loneliness or chronic loneliness or I of loneliness or chronic loneliness or I of loneliness or chronic loneliness or I have no deep or long-term friends, have no deep or long-term friends, have no deep or long-term friends, you're going to have to take a risk. I you're going to have to take a risk. I you're going to have to take a risk. I want to encourage you. How would you do want to encourage you. How would you do want to encourage you. How would you do that? Well, you could show up here on a that? Well, you could show up here on a that? Well, you could show up here on a Wednesday night. You could you could Wednesday night. You could you could Wednesday night. You could you could join a group. You you could join the join a group. You you could join the join a group. You you could join the classes that are going to start in a few classes that are going to start in a few classes that are going to start in a few weeks, but find a way to get out of a weeks, but find a way to get out of a weeks, but find a way to get out of a bigger venue into a smaller venue where bigger venue into a smaller venue where bigger venue into a smaller venue where someone knows your name. And that's someone knows your name. And that's someone knows your name. And that's going to require you taking a risk. going to require you taking a risk. going to require you taking a risk. Number two, Number two, Number two, show up.

show up. show up. I was given the choice to show up every I was given the choice to show up every I was given the choice to show up every week at that interarity meeting week at that interarity meeting week at that interarity meeting at college. I was given the opportunity at college. I was given the opportunity at college. I was given the opportunity to show up every week at my local to show up every week at my local to show up every week at my local church. And when you show up at the same church. And when you show up at the same church. And when you show up at the same place every week, these connections place every week, these connections place every week, these connections happen. Jesus models this because if you happen. Jesus models this because if you happen. Jesus models this because if you look at Harvard University study, they look at Harvard University study, they look at Harvard University study, they said, you know, the the number one way said, you know, the the number one way said, you know, the the number one way that social connections are made, it's that social connections are made, it's that social connections are made, it's proximity. proximity. proximity. You show up at the same place every You show up at the same place every You show up at the same place every week. And the closer you are to a week. And the closer you are to a week. And the closer you are to a community, the more connections that community, the more connections that community, the more connections that will happen. And the further away you will happen. And the further away you will happen. And the further away you are, well, the less will happen. And so are, well, the less will happen. And so are, well, the less will happen. And so you look at the early church. The early you look at the early church. The early you look at the early church. The early church lived this. I mean, there's a church lived this. I mean, there's a church lived this. I mean, there's a description of the early church, the description of the early church, the description of the early church, the first Christians, and it says they met first Christians, and it says they met first Christians, and it says they met together together together daily daily daily in the temple. They broke bread in the temple. They broke bread in the temple. They broke bread together. They prayed together. They together. They prayed together. They together. They prayed together. They fellowship together. Daily Christians fellowship together. Daily Christians fellowship together. Daily Christians were meeting. and they were showing up were meeting. and they were showing up were meeting. and they were showing up and learning about Jesus and they're and learning about Jesus and they're and learning about Jesus and they're building this community together. It was building this community together. It was building this community together. It was imperfect. If you read the book of Acts, imperfect. If you read the book of Acts, imperfect. If you read the book of Acts, there was a lot of imperfect characters there was a lot of imperfect characters there was a lot of imperfect characters in the early church just like there are in the early church just like there are in the early church just like there are today. But there was a great investment today. But there was a great investment today. But there was a great investment in I'm going to show up every day. And in I'm going to show up every day. And in I'm going to show up every day. And there's a there's a kind of a warning in there's a there's a kind of a warning in there's a there's a kind of a warning in the book of Hebrews for Christians who the book of Hebrews for Christians who the book of Hebrews for Christians who got out of that habit. And here here's got out of that habit. And here here's got out of that habit. And here here's here's what the author of Hebrews says.

here's what the author of Hebrews says. here's what the author of Hebrews says. Do not give up meeting together as some Do not give up meeting together as some Do not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but encourage are in the habit of doing, but encourage are in the habit of doing, but encourage one another. And all the more as you see one another. And all the more as you see one another. And all the more as you see the day approaching. the day approaching. the day approaching. And so if you get in the habit of not And so if you get in the habit of not And so if you get in the habit of not showing up, you're not going to be showing up, you're not going to be showing up, you're not going to be encouraged. You're going to be encouraged. You're going to be encouraged. You're going to be discouraged. You're going to feel discouraged. You're going to feel discouraged. You're going to feel isolated. You're going to be like, "This isolated. You're going to be like, "This isolated. You're going to be like, "This I feel so lonely." But if you choose to I feel so lonely." But if you choose to I feel so lonely." But if you choose to show up, you will encourage others and show up, you will encourage others and show up, you will encourage others and others will encourage you. and you'll others will encourage you. and you'll others will encourage you. and you'll find these deep connections beginning to find these deep connections beginning to find these deep connections beginning to grow. So, where where do you show up grow. So, where where do you show up grow. So, where where do you show up every week? every week? every week? Or maybe who do you show up for Or maybe who do you show up for Or maybe who do you show up for every week? And I want to just say this every week? And I want to just say this every week? And I want to just say this to anyone who's in the online community to anyone who's in the online community to anyone who's in the online community and you're not watching online because and you're not watching online because and you're not watching online because you're live in another city or because you're live in another city or because you're live in another city or because you're unable because of physical issues you're unable because of physical issues you're unable because of physical issues to show up. You just choose to say, to show up. You just choose to say, to show up. You just choose to say, "Hey, this is the way I want to engage. "Hey, this is the way I want to engage. "Hey, this is the way I want to engage. I just want to I want to give you this I just want to I want to give you this I just want to I want to give you this warning that that habit of saying I I'd warning that that habit of saying I I'd warning that that habit of saying I I'd rather just watch on a device rather just watch on a device rather just watch on a device is dangerous for your soul because is dangerous for your soul because is dangerous for your soul because saying, "Oh, I learned a lot." is just saying, "Oh, I learned a lot." is just saying, "Oh, I learned a lot." is just part of the following Jesus. Learning part of the following Jesus. Learning part of the following Jesus. Learning about doctrine or Bible verses is all about doctrine or Bible verses is all about doctrine or Bible verses is all good and great. Understanding the gospel good and great. Understanding the gospel good and great. Understanding the gospel and living it out is great, but it was and living it out is great, but it was and living it out is great, but it was meant not just to fill your mind, but to meant not just to fill your mind, but to meant not just to fill your mind, but to fill your soul and to fill your life.

fill your soul and to fill your life. fill your soul and to fill your life. And so maybe your step is just to show And so maybe your step is just to show And so maybe your step is just to show up here on a weekly basis and go, I'm up here on a weekly basis and go, I'm up here on a weekly basis and go, I'm going to start being together with God's going to start being together with God's going to start being together with God's people again. This habit of showing up people again. This habit of showing up people again. This habit of showing up every week together is a powerful every week together is a powerful every week together is a powerful powerful connector when it comes to powerful connector when it comes to powerful connector when it comes to showing up. So So how do you know showing up. So So how do you know showing up. So So how do you know that you're deeply connected with a that you're deeply connected with a that you're deeply connected with a friend? Here's one of the ways. friend? Here's one of the ways. friend? Here's one of the ways. Call them when you have to move. Call them when you have to move. Call them when you have to move. You want to find out who your real You want to find out who your real You want to find out who your real friends are? friends are? friends are? move and see who shows up to help you. move and see who shows up to help you. move and see who shows up to help you. Now, before you get all salty like no Now, before you get all salty like no Now, before you get all salty like no one showed up for me, here's the next one showed up for me, here's the next one showed up for me, here's the next question. Who have you helped move? Ah, question. Who have you helped move? Ah, question. Who have you helped move? Ah, right. Cuz friendship goes both ways. right. Cuz friendship goes both ways. right. Cuz friendship goes both ways. And that's one of the ways friends will And that's one of the ways friends will And that's one of the ways friends will show up to help you move. And if you're show up to help you move. And if you're show up to help you move. And if you're really friends, you'll help your friend really friends, you'll help your friend really friends, you'll help your friend move two or three times, which I've move two or three times, which I've move two or three times, which I've done. It's just part of what friendship done. It's just part of what friendship done. It's just part of what friendship is. You show up and you sacrifice for is. You show up and you sacrifice for is. You show up and you sacrifice for your friends. or maybe this. If if you your friends. or maybe this. If if you your friends. or maybe this. If if you were going to go, you're going through a were going to go, you're going through a were going to go, you're going through a difficult time and you had to call difficult time and you had to call difficult time and you had to call someone at 3:00 a.m., who would pick up someone at 3:00 a.m., who would pick up someone at 3:00 a.m., who would pick up your phone call at 3:00 a.m.?

your phone call at 3:00 a.m.? your phone call at 3:00 a.m.? Now, if you know their name right away, Now, if you know their name right away, Now, if you know their name right away, that's a good friend. that's a good friend. that's a good friend. If you have no one, then maybe you're If you have no one, then maybe you're If you have no one, then maybe you're more isolated than you think because in more isolated than you think because in more isolated than you think because in a need physical, I need help moving in a a need physical, I need help moving in a a need physical, I need help moving in a need emotionally or spirit. I need this need emotionally or spirit. I need this need emotionally or spirit. I need this in a crisis. Here, here's what the Bible in a crisis. Here, here's what the Bible in a crisis. Here, here's what the Bible says about showing up for friends. A says about showing up for friends. A says about showing up for friends. A friend loves at all times and a brother friend loves at all times and a brother friend loves at all times and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Yesterday I was with a group of friends Yesterday I was with a group of friends as we watched this couple that we love as we watched this couple that we love as we watched this couple that we love say goodbye to their son who's in the say goodbye to their son who's in the say goodbye to their son who's in the process of dying. process of dying. process of dying. And when you see a house full of sorrow And when you see a house full of sorrow And when you see a house full of sorrow and you see people hugging each other and you see people hugging each other and you see people hugging each other and laughing and telling stories and and laughing and telling stories and and laughing and telling stories and sharing food in a moment where your son sharing food in a moment where your son sharing food in a moment where your son is passing literally right before your is passing literally right before your is passing literally right before your eyes, it's one of those moments you'll eyes, it's one of those moments you'll eyes, it's one of those moments you'll never forget. never forget. never forget. You know, I I used to think it was corny You know, I I used to think it was corny You know, I I used to think it was corny when people would say like, "Well, when people would say like, "Well, when people would say like, "Well, friends, they they multiply your joy and friends, they they multiply your joy and friends, they they multiply your joy and they divide your sorrows." they divide your sorrows." they divide your sorrows." I thought, "Yeah, that's something that I thought, "Yeah, that's something that I thought, "Yeah, that's something that people put on a bookmark, whatever, people put on a bookmark, whatever, people put on a bookmark, whatever, whatever." But I' i've come to realize whatever." But I' i've come to realize whatever." But I' i've come to realize it's one of the most powerful truths in it's one of the most powerful truths in it's one of the most powerful truths in life that when you're celebrating life that when you're celebrating life that when you're celebrating something, I don't care if it's your something, I don't care if it's your something, I don't care if it's your team wins the Super Bowl. I don't care team wins the Super Bowl. I don't care team wins the Super Bowl. I don't care if you're it's your grandson that if you're it's your grandson that if you're it's your grandson that graduates. I don't care if it's a moment graduates. I don't care if it's a moment graduates. I don't care if it's a moment where you rededicate their vows.

where you rededicate their vows. where you rededicate their vows. Everything you do with other people Everything you do with other people Everything you do with other people makes it that much better because you makes it that much better because you makes it that much better because you have someone to celebrate it with. have someone to celebrate it with. have someone to celebrate it with. Friendship multiplies your joy. Friendship multiplies your joy. Friendship multiplies your joy. And yesterday I experienced friendship And yesterday I experienced friendship And yesterday I experienced friendship divide sorrow. divide sorrow. divide sorrow. The sorrow wasn't sung a couple, a The sorrow wasn't sung a couple, a The sorrow wasn't sung a couple, a family on their own in an unimaginable family on their own in an unimaginable family on their own in an unimaginable moment of grief. It was friends and moment of grief. It was friends and moment of grief. It was friends and family all around them. And that grief family all around them. And that grief family all around them. And that grief was being shared and the comfort of was being shared and the comfort of was being shared and the comfort of Christ was being shared in that Christ was being shared in that Christ was being shared in that environment. And this is what friendship environment. And this is what friendship environment. And this is what friendship looks like. A friend is born for a day looks like. A friend is born for a day looks like. A friend is born for a day of adversity. Galatians 6 says it this of adversity. Galatians 6 says it this of adversity. Galatians 6 says it this way. Carry each other's burdens and this way. Carry each other's burdens and this way. Carry each other's burdens and this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. way you will fulfill the law of Christ. way you will fulfill the law of Christ. And so if we want to experience the And so if we want to experience the And so if we want to experience the friendships that Jesus modeled that we friendships that Jesus modeled that we friendships that Jesus modeled that we see in the early church, we want to be see in the early church, we want to be see in the early church, we want to be showing up for the right people in the showing up for the right people in the showing up for the right people in the right places, making those friendships a right places, making those friendships a right places, making those friendships a priority. priority. priority. Number three, if you want to grow in Number three, if you want to grow in Number three, if you want to grow in your friendship, you have to call up.

your friendship, you have to call up. your friendship, you have to call up. You have to call people up and call You have to call people up and call You have to call people up and call people out. You see Jesus do this people out. You see Jesus do this people out. You see Jesus do this masterfully. I mean, his initial masterfully. I mean, his initial masterfully. I mean, his initial invitation to the disciples is a invitation to the disciples is a invitation to the disciples is a challenge. Follow me and I will make you challenge. Follow me and I will make you challenge. Follow me and I will make you fishers of men. You're here, but here's fishers of men. You're here, but here's fishers of men. You're here, but here's what I see you can be. And if you follow what I see you can be. And if you follow what I see you can be. And if you follow me, I will call you up. I will speak me, I will call you up. I will speak me, I will call you up. I will speak this into your life. So many times he's this into your life. So many times he's this into your life. So many times he's saying to Peter and the disciples, you saying to Peter and the disciples, you saying to Peter and the disciples, you are Simon. You are a little stone, but are Simon. You are a little stone, but are Simon. You are a little stone, but I'm about to make you a rock. Here's I'm about to make you a rock. Here's I'm about to make you a rock. Here's where you are. Here's where you could where you are. Here's where you could where you are. Here's where you could be. And Jesus also had no problem be. And Jesus also had no problem be. And Jesus also had no problem calling his disciples out. calling his disciples out. calling his disciples out. In one moment he's like, "Peter, God, In one moment he's like, "Peter, God, In one moment he's like, "Peter, God, and the spirit of God has inspired you and the spirit of God has inspired you and the spirit of God has inspired you to see that I am Messiah." And the next to see that I am Messiah." And the next to see that I am Messiah." And the next second, "Get behind me, Satan. You don't second, "Get behind me, Satan. You don't second, "Get behind me, Satan. You don't know the things of God." And it's this know the things of God." And it's this know the things of God." And it's this push and pull of friendship that calls push and pull of friendship that calls push and pull of friendship that calls up and calls out. up and calls out. up and calls out. Friends can say hard things to friends. Friends can say hard things to friends. Friends can say hard things to friends. And this is the gift of friendship. And And this is the gift of friendship. And And this is the gift of friendship. And this is the gift of community. this is the gift of community. this is the gift of community. And if you if you don't have friendships And if you if you don't have friendships And if you if you don't have friendships like this, then you're going to have a like this, then you're going to have a like this, then you're going to have a lot of blind spots because friends lot of blind spots because friends lot of blind spots because friends provide something called self-awareness, provide something called self-awareness, provide something called self-awareness, the gift that no one wants.

the gift that no one wants. the gift that no one wants. Here's how John Orford describes Here's how John Orford describes Here's how John Orford describes community. When we are alone, we believe community. When we are alone, we believe community. When we are alone, we believe we love everyone. we love everyone. we love everyone. But community is the place where our But community is the place where our But community is the place where our limitations, our fears, and our pride limitations, our fears, and our pride limitations, our fears, and our pride are revealed to us. are revealed to us. are revealed to us. A friend A friend A friend is like a mirror. is like a mirror. is like a mirror. They show us our blind spots. They show us our blind spots. They show us our blind spots. So, what does that sound like? Well, a So, what does that sound like? Well, a So, what does that sound like? Well, a good friend when you're having good friend when you're having good friend when you're having conversations, well, they might say conversations, well, they might say conversations, well, they might say something like this. Hey. Hey, Doug. Why something like this. Hey. Hey, Doug. Why something like this. Hey. Hey, Doug. Why do you do that? do you do that? do you do that? Do what? Well, you made that Do what? Well, you made that Do what? Well, you made that conversation was about other people. You conversation was about other people. You conversation was about other people. You made it all about yourself. Why do you made it all about yourself. Why do you made it all about yourself. Why do you do that? do that? do that? Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Hey, Doug. Why do you do that? Do what? Hey, Doug. Why do you do that? Do what? Hey, Doug. Why do you do that? Do what? Like when it gets serious, you crack a Like when it gets serious, you crack a Like when it gets serious, you crack a joke because you can't handle the joke because you can't handle the joke because you can't handle the emotional intensity. Why? Why do you do emotional intensity. Why? Why do you do emotional intensity. Why? Why do you do that? [snorts] that? [snorts] that? [snorts] Ouch. Now I have a choice when that Ouch. Now I have a choice when that Ouch. Now I have a choice when that happens to me or when it happens to you. happens to me or when it happens to you. happens to me or when it happens to you. I don't see any wings on your back. I I don't see any wings on your back. I I don't see any wings on your back. I get defensive. I put my walls up. Or I get defensive. I put my walls up. Or I get defensive. I put my walls up. Or I can be like, "Oh, maybe maybe there's can be like, "Oh, maybe maybe there's can be like, "Oh, maybe maybe there's something they see in me that that I something they see in me that that I something they see in me that that I need to change because I have a need to change because I have a need to change because I have a perception of myself that's different perception of myself that's different perception of myself that's different than what they're experiencing." And than what they're experiencing." And than what they're experiencing." And especially when your friend doesn't just especially when your friend doesn't just especially when your friend doesn't just call you out, but calls you up. Hey, I call you out, but calls you up. Hey, I call you out, but calls you up. Hey, I see a leadership quality in you that's see a leadership quality in you that's see a leadership quality in you that's here, but this limitation here is here, but this limitation here is here, but this limitation here is getting in your way from who God's getting in your way from who God's getting in your way from who God's called you to be. Friendships were called you to be. Friendships were called you to be. Friendships were always meant to be mutually always meant to be mutually always meant to be mutually transforming.

transforming. transforming. But you know, the definition and vision But you know, the definition and vision But you know, the definition and vision for friendship has changed for for friendship has changed for for friendship has changed for centuries. The Greeks, Aristotle, all centuries. The Greeks, Aristotle, all centuries. The Greeks, Aristotle, all the people who talked about friendship. the people who talked about friendship. the people who talked about friendship. Two people who deeply connect will both Two people who deeply connect will both Two people who deeply connect will both be transformed and grow in character and be transformed and grow in character and be transformed and grow in character and maturity. But that's not what friendship maturity. But that's not what friendship maturity. But that's not what friendship is today. is today. is today. You know what friendship has become You know what friendship has become You know what friendship has become today? today? today? I need you to affirm me. I need you to I need you to affirm me. I need you to I need you to affirm me. I need you to encourage me. Here are my list of needs encourage me. Here are my list of needs encourage me. Here are my list of needs for you to be my friend. And if you fill for you to be my friend. And if you fill for you to be my friend. And if you fill those needs, I'll be your friend. And if those needs, I'll be your friend. And if those needs, I'll be your friend. And if not, I need to find someone else who not, I need to find someone else who not, I need to find someone else who knows me and sees me and understands me knows me and sees me and understands me knows me and sees me and understands me because I am a rainbow. I am a flower. And we have developed such thin skin And we have developed such thin skin that we can't handle a rebuke that we can't handle a rebuke that we can't handle a rebuke or a correction. or a correction. or a correction. And so, do you know what one of the And so, do you know what one of the And so, do you know what one of the scariest trends is in our day today? scariest trends is in our day today? scariest trends is in our day today? It's not that we touch this 2600 times a It's not that we touch this 2600 times a It's not that we touch this 2600 times a day. It's not that we look at it 150 day. It's not that we look at it 150 day. It's not that we look at it 150 times.

times. times. It's what we ask it. It's what we ask it. It's what we ask it. I had a conflict at work I had a conflict at work I had a conflict at work and I don't want to hear my friend say, and I don't want to hear my friend say, and I don't want to hear my friend say, "Well, maybe a little bit of that was "Well, maybe a little bit of that was "Well, maybe a little bit of that was you with a co-orker and with the boss." you with a co-orker and with the boss." you with a co-orker and with the boss." I don't want to hear that, Claude. I had I don't want to hear that, Claude. I had I don't want to hear that, Claude. I had this, you know, issue with my boss and this, you know, issue with my boss and this, you know, issue with my boss and he said something in front of other he said something in front of other he said something in front of other people and I felt ashamed. And what do people and I felt ashamed. And what do people and I felt ashamed. And what do you think? Oh, you think I was treated you think? Oh, you think I was treated you think? Oh, you think I was treated unjustly? unjustly? unjustly? You think I should be the boss? You think I should be the boss? You think I should be the boss? You think that person was wrong to say You think that person was wrong to say You think that person was wrong to say that? I I love you. that? I I love you. that? I I love you. And so there's a trend toward what's And so there's a trend toward what's And so there's a trend toward what's called digital intimacy. called digital intimacy. called digital intimacy. I want to hear what I want to hear, but I want to hear what I want to hear, but I want to hear what I want to hear, but I want to hear from something else. And I want to hear from something else. And I want to hear from something else. And I don't even care if it's a chatbot I don't even care if it's a chatbot I don't even care if it's a chatbot that's clicking back what I want to that's clicking back what I want to that's clicking back what I want to hear. hear. hear. And it's called a frictionless And it's called a frictionless And it's called a frictionless relationship. relationship. relationship. A frictionless relationship where I A frictionless relationship where I A frictionless relationship where I don't have to change, where I can be don't have to change, where I can be don't have to change, where I can be affirmed. And what we don't realize is affirmed. And what we don't realize is affirmed. And what we don't realize is that makes us even more isolated from that makes us even more isolated from that makes us even more isolated from the world. And that's not what the world. And that's not what the world. And that's not what friendship is for. Friendship is not friendship is for. Friendship is not friendship is for. Friendship is not supposed to be a frictionless supposed to be a frictionless supposed to be a frictionless relationship. Here here's here's how the relationship. Here here's here's how the relationship. Here here's here's how the Bible describes this relationship. As Bible describes this relationship. As Bible describes this relationship. As iron sharpens iron, so one person iron sharpens iron, so one person iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

sharpens another. sharpens another. That that's sparks flying. That's you That that's sparks flying. That's you That that's sparks flying. That's you both getting sharper in the process. both getting sharper in the process. both getting sharper in the process. that that requires some pain, some that that requires some pain, some that that requires some pain, some staying in the pocket and saying, staying in the pocket and saying, staying in the pocket and saying, [snorts] [snorts] [snorts] and one of the ways you know you have a and one of the ways you know you have a and one of the ways you know you have a friendship like this is you've had a friendship like this is you've had a friendship like this is you've had a difficult conversation with your friend difficult conversation with your friend difficult conversation with your friend in the last few weeks or months. in the last few weeks or months. in the last few weeks or months. So, here's here's the question. So, here's here's the question. So, here's here's the question. Everyone, buckle your seat belt. Everyone, buckle your seat belt. Everyone, buckle your seat belt. When was the last time one of your When was the last time one of your When was the last time one of your friends said, "Hey, I want to share friends said, "Hey, I want to share friends said, "Hey, I want to share something with you. Here's what I see." something with you. Here's what I see." something with you. Here's what I see." And you're like, "Oh, no. None of my And you're like, "Oh, no. None of my And you're like, "Oh, no. None of my friends say that. friends say that. friends say that. Well, I want to say this. It's not Well, I want to say this. It's not Well, I want to say this. It's not because you're perfect. because you're perfect. because you're perfect. It's because maybe you've sent a certain It's because maybe you've sent a certain It's because maybe you've sent a certain message that you don't invite feedback message that you don't invite feedback message that you don't invite feedback into your life. into your life. into your life. And so, if you really want to test a And so, if you really want to test a And so, if you really want to test a friendship, friendship, friendship, ask who you consider your best friend ask who you consider your best friend ask who you consider your best friend this week. Ready? Buckle your seat belt. this week. Ready? Buckle your seat belt. this week. Ready? Buckle your seat belt. [snorts] Hey, has there been anything [snorts] Hey, has there been anything [snorts] Hey, has there been anything you've wanted to say to me that you see you've wanted to say to me that you see you've wanted to say to me that you see in me, but you haven't because you don't in me, but you haven't because you don't in me, but you haven't because you don't think I could handle it or our think I could handle it or our think I could handle it or our friendship could handle it?

And if you mean it And if you mean it and you're ready to listen, you might and you're ready to listen, you might and you're ready to listen, you might get some of the most enlightening get some of the most enlightening get some of the most enlightening insight that will help you to grow in insight that will help you to grow in insight that will help you to grow in character and maturity that will make character and maturity that will make character and maturity that will make you a better friend, a better father, you a better friend, a better father, you a better friend, a better father, mother, son, daughter, leader. If you're mother, son, daughter, leader. If you're mother, son, daughter, leader. If you're open to it, Solomon says, "A wise person open to it, Solomon says, "A wise person open to it, Solomon says, "A wise person invites correction." invites correction." invites correction." And so I want to say this too that in And so I want to say this too that in And so I want to say this too that in friendship, conflict is inevitable, friendship, conflict is inevitable, friendship, conflict is inevitable, but resentment is optional. but resentment is optional. but resentment is optional. In other words, if you're going to go In other words, if you're going to go In other words, if you're going to go deep with someone, there's going to be deep with someone, there's going to be deep with someone, there's going to be sparks. There's going to be moments you sparks. There's going to be moments you sparks. There's going to be moments you have to ask for forgiveness, give have to ask for forgiveness, give have to ask for forgiveness, give forgiveness, just like family, just like forgiveness, just like family, just like forgiveness, just like family, just like marriage, like everything else. marriage, like everything else. marriage, like everything else. But because marriage and and family are But because marriage and and family are But because marriage and and family are more connected, friendships were more more connected, friendships were more more connected, friendships were more easily just dismissed. Like we're not easily just dismissed. Like we're not easily just dismissed. Like we're not friends anymore. And if all your friends anymore. And if all your friends anymore. And if all your friendships are like a year long, you friendships are like a year long, you friendships are like a year long, you realize you just keep dismissing realize you just keep dismissing realize you just keep dismissing friendships and you're not keeping these friendships and you're not keeping these friendships and you're not keeping these long-term friendships. And what we see long-term friendships. And what we see long-term friendships. And what we see in Jesus life and the lives of the in Jesus life and the lives of the in Jesus life and the lives of the apostles, these long-term friendships apostles, these long-term friendships apostles, these long-term friendships over time where even if brokenness over time where even if brokenness over time where even if brokenness happens, there's this desire for happens, there's this desire for happens, there's this desire for forgiveness and reconciliation, this forgiveness and reconciliation, this forgiveness and reconciliation, this rupture and repair that makes the rupture and repair that makes the rupture and repair that makes the relationship stronger over time. And relationship stronger over time. And relationship stronger over time. And then finally, number four, we see Jesus then finally, number four, we see Jesus then finally, number four, we see Jesus do this. Take off your mask.

do this. Take off your mask. do this. Take off your mask. Inviting people into a whole another Inviting people into a whole another Inviting people into a whole another level. If you notice Jesus' life, he level. If you notice Jesus' life, he level. If you notice Jesus' life, he spent three times as much time with his spent three times as much time with his spent three times as much time with his 12 disciples as he did with the big 12 disciples as he did with the big 12 disciples as he did with the big crowds. crowds. crowds. And toward the end of his life in And toward the end of his life in And toward the end of his life in ministry, he pulled even to a narrower ministry, he pulled even to a narrower ministry, he pulled even to a narrower group, just three of those 12 disciples, group, just three of those 12 disciples, group, just three of those 12 disciples, Peter, James, and John. And on three Peter, James, and John. And on three Peter, James, and John. And on three occasions, he invites them to see what's occasions, he invites them to see what's occasions, he invites them to see what's actually going on behind the scenes. The actually going on behind the scenes. The actually going on behind the scenes. The first case is the miracle of raising first case is the miracle of raising first case is the miracle of raising Gyrus's daughter. He pulls Peter, James, Gyrus's daughter. He pulls Peter, James, Gyrus's daughter. He pulls Peter, James, I want to show you something. And they I want to show you something. And they I want to show you something. And they get to see a resurrection happen. No get to see a resurrection happen. No get to see a resurrection happen. No one, the other disciples get to see it. one, the other disciples get to see it. one, the other disciples get to see it. He takes him another day on this He takes him another day on this He takes him another day on this mountain of transfiguration. He says, "I mountain of transfiguration. He says, "I mountain of transfiguration. He says, "I want to show you something." And he want to show you something." And he want to show you something." And he shows Peter, James, and John what he shows Peter, James, and John what he shows Peter, James, and John what he looks like in heaven, his glory. He this looks like in heaven, his glory. He this looks like in heaven, his glory. He this the shining of his glory, his the shining of his glory, his the shining of his glory, his countenance looks like the sun. And then countenance looks like the sun. And then countenance looks like the sun. And then he says, "Peter, James, John, don't tell he says, "Peter, James, John, don't tell he says, "Peter, James, John, don't tell the other disciples about this. This is the other disciples about this. This is the other disciples about this. This is just for you and me. Into me. See just for you and me. Into me. See just for you and me. Into me. See intimacy. I want to take off my mask. I intimacy. I want to take off my mask. I intimacy. I want to take off my mask. I want to show you who I am." And then the want to show you who I am." And then the want to show you who I am." And then the third time is the garden of Gethsemane. third time is the garden of Gethsemane. third time is the garden of Gethsemane. Peter, James, and John's, I want you to Peter, James, and John's, I want you to Peter, James, and John's, I want you to follow me.

follow me. follow me. And he looks him in the eyes and he says And he looks him in the eyes and he says And he looks him in the eyes and he says something that he's never said to the something that he's never said to the something that he's never said to the disciples before in any way that's ever disciples before in any way that's ever disciples before in any way that's ever been recorded. He shows them his been recorded. He shows them his been recorded. He shows them his weakness. weakness. weakness. He says, "I'm overwhelmed with sorrow to He says, "I'm overwhelmed with sorrow to He says, "I'm overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Please the point of death. Please the point of death. Please pray for me." pray for me." pray for me." Jesus is revealing intimacy at this Jesus is revealing intimacy at this Jesus is revealing intimacy at this level with just a few people taking off level with just a few people taking off level with just a few people taking off this mask. And so we as people, we're this mask. And so we as people, we're this mask. And so we as people, we're like, do I am I finding myself going like, do I am I finding myself going like, do I am I finding myself going from the large groups to the small from the large groups to the small from the large groups to the small groups to this one or two or three groups to this one or two or three groups to this one or two or three people where I can be completely open? people where I can be completely open? people where I can be completely open? And I'm a little nervous about that. And And I'm a little nervous about that. And And I'm a little nervous about that. And I I just want to show you like how that I I just want to show you like how that I I just want to show you like how that might work. And I'm going to show you might work. And I'm going to show you might work. And I'm going to show you this this friendship matrix. And I want this this friendship matrix. And I want this this friendship matrix. And I want you to think think about where you are you to think think about where you are you to think think about where you are in this with different friendships and in this with different friendships and in this with different friendships and relationships. So our greatest need is relationships. So our greatest need is relationships. So our greatest need is to be fully accepted and fully known and to be fully accepted and fully known and to be fully accepted and fully known and loved. It's our greatest hope and it's loved. It's our greatest hope and it's loved. It's our greatest hope and it's our greatest fear. And in the top right our greatest fear. And in the top right our greatest fear. And in the top right quadrant, we see if you are fully known quadrant, we see if you are fully known quadrant, we see if you are fully known and fully accepted, this is intimacy. and fully accepted, this is intimacy. and fully accepted, this is intimacy. This is the deepest form of human This is the deepest form of human This is the deepest form of human connection you can have in life. But connection you can have in life. But connection you can have in life. But most of us don't get there in all areas most of us don't get there in all areas most of us don't get there in all areas of our life. And so if you look at the of our life. And so if you look at the of our life. And so if you look at the the top left, impression management the top left, impression management the top left, impression management means you're accepted, but you're not means you're accepted, but you're not means you're accepted, but you're not known. Which means you feel like an known. Which means you feel like an known. Which means you feel like an impostor. The people know the you want impostor. The people know the you want impostor. The people know the you want them to know, the social media you, the them to know, the social media you, the them to know, the social media you, the successful you, than the ones without successful you, than the ones without successful you, than the ones without all the flaws. And the question is, if I all the flaws. And the question is, if I all the flaws. And the question is, if I let people know who I really am, will let people know who I really am, will let people know who I really am, will they still accept me? So, I work so they still accept me? So, I work so they still accept me? So, I work so hard. This is exhausting. Making sure hard. This is exhausting. Making sure hard. This is exhausting. Making sure everyone sees the best of me. But bottom everyone sees the best of me. But bottom everyone sees the best of me. But bottom left is isolation. I mean, think Peter

left is isolation. I mean, think Peter left is isolation. I mean, think Peter Parker in Brand New Day. No one knows Parker in Brand New Day. No one knows Parker in Brand New Day. No one knows me. No one accepts me. I'm I'm me. No one accepts me. I'm I'm me. No one accepts me. I'm I'm invisible. Even Spider-Man needs a invisible. Even Spider-Man needs a invisible. Even Spider-Man needs a friend, guys. Come on. I mean, this is friend, guys. Come on. I mean, this is friend, guys. Come on. I mean, this is real real real isolation. No one knows me. No one isolation. No one knows me. No one isolation. No one knows me. No one cares. I'm all by myself. And then into cares. I'm all by myself. And then into cares. I'm all by myself. And then into the bottom right is I put myself out the bottom right is I put myself out the bottom right is I put myself out there. And when people find out the real there. And when people find out the real there. And when people find out the real me, they're like, "No thanks." [sighs] me, they're like, "No thanks." [sighs] me, they're like, "No thanks." [sighs] And so we want to be conscious of how And so we want to be conscious of how And so we want to be conscious of how this works in our life and and how we're this works in our life and and how we're this works in our life and and how we're navigating between these quadrants navigating between these quadrants navigating between these quadrants because when we feel the sense of because when we feel the sense of because when we feel the sense of rejection, we want to hide. rejection, we want to hide. rejection, we want to hide. You see, if you want the joy of being You see, if you want the joy of being You see, if you want the joy of being fully known and fully loved, you have to fully known and fully loved, you have to fully known and fully loved, you have to go through the discomfort and the pain go through the discomfort and the pain go through the discomfort and the pain of of showing who you are. of of showing who you are. of of showing who you are. Healing Healing Healing doesn't come when we hide. It comes when doesn't come when we hide. It comes when doesn't come when we hide. It comes when we step out into the light. And so, so we step out into the light. And so, so we step out into the light. And so, so here's the process of progressive here's the process of progressive here's the process of progressive disclosure, bringing your friends even disclosure, bringing your friends even disclosure, bringing your friends even closer, taking a risk, and saying, "This closer, taking a risk, and saying, "This closer, taking a risk, and saying, "This is what's actually going on." This is is what's actually going on." This is is what's actually going on." This is harder to do than it is to confess to harder to do than it is to confess to harder to do than it is to confess to God. I'll just give you a quick God. I'll just give you a quick God. I'll just give you a quick scenario. If you're confessing to God, scenario. If you're confessing to God, scenario. If you're confessing to God, you can pretty much say it because you you can pretty much say it because you you can pretty much say it because you know he already knows it. So, you're know he already knows it. So, you're know he already knows it. So, you're like, "God, I like, "God, I like, "God, I I lied to my boss this week."

I lied to my boss this week." I lied to my boss this week." And you saw that and then I slandered And you saw that and then I slandered And you saw that and then I slandered him just to try to get rid of that shame him just to try to get rid of that shame him just to try to get rid of that shame and make maybe put it on him. And then I and make maybe put it on him. And then I and make maybe put it on him. And then I got with a coworker who was disgruntled got with a coworker who was disgruntled got with a coworker who was disgruntled and and fed that a little bit just try and and fed that a little bit just try and and fed that a little bit just try to get the deflection off me. And then I to get the deflection off me. And then I to get the deflection off me. And then I felt guilty. And I came home and I felt guilty. And I came home and I felt guilty. And I came home and I yelled at my kids. And then I felt even yelled at my kids. And then I felt even yelled at my kids. And then I felt even more guilty. And then I I looked at more guilty. And then I I looked at more guilty. And then I I looked at porn. And now I feel like but God, I porn. And now I feel like but God, I porn. And now I feel like but God, I know that your grace is sufficient for know that your grace is sufficient for know that your grace is sufficient for all those sins. I want to live live all those sins. I want to live live all those sins. I want to live live right. That's honesty with God. That's right. That's honesty with God. That's right. That's honesty with God. That's intimacy with God. That's real. But then intimacy with God. That's real. But then intimacy with God. That's real. But then you go to your your guys group and you go to your your guys group and you go to your your guys group and you're like, "Hey, what's up? How was you're like, "Hey, what's up? How was you're like, "Hey, what's up? How was your week?" "Oh, it was good." You know, your week?" "Oh, it was good." You know, your week?" "Oh, it was good." You know, regular struggles, just little things regular struggles, just little things regular struggles, just little things here and there. You know, it's not fall here and there. You know, it's not fall here and there. You know, it's not fall short. God's, you know, God's perfect, short. God's, you know, God's perfect, short. God's, you know, God's perfect, I'm not. And what you experience is like I'm not. And what you experience is like I'm not. And what you experience is like a general confession with a general a general confession with a general a general confession with a general repentance and a general transformation. repentance and a general transformation. repentance and a general transformation. And and your relationships are just uh And and your relationships are just uh And and your relationships are just uh it's not real. it's not real. it's not real. And and what we discover, it's more And and what we discover, it's more And and what we discover, it's more embarrassing to look someone in the embarrassing to look someone in the embarrassing to look someone in the face, a human being, and confess than it face, a human being, and confess than it face, a human being, and confess than it is to confess to a God that we can't see is to confess to a God that we can't see is to confess to a God that we can't see or touch. But God says in his word, "If or touch. But God says in his word, "If or touch. But God says in his word, "If you confess your sins to one another, you confess your sins to one another, you confess your sins to one another, you'll experience you'll experience you'll experience healing." James 5:16. Wow. And there's healing." James 5:16. Wow. And there's healing." James 5:16. Wow. And there's something more than just physical something more than just physical something more than just physical healing in that verse. There's something healing in that verse. There's something healing in that verse. There's something about saying, "I am as sick as my about saying, "I am as sick as my about saying, "I am as sick as my secrets. I want to step into the light.

secrets. I want to step into the light. secrets. I want to step into the light. I want to find that one person I take a I want to find that one person I take a I want to find that one person I take a risk with. I go deep. to take off my risk with. I go deep. to take off my risk with. I go deep. to take off my mask. This is me. Will you love me mask. This is me. Will you love me mask. This is me. Will you love me anyway? And this is a beautiful anyway? And this is a beautiful anyway? And this is a beautiful invitation of Jesus as he models this invitation of Jesus as he models this invitation of Jesus as he models this with his disciples. with his disciples. with his disciples. Dietri Bonhaofer says it this way. If if Dietri Bonhaofer says it this way. If if Dietri Bonhaofer says it this way. If if a Christian is in fellowship of a Christian is in fellowship of a Christian is in fellowship of confession with another brother, he will confession with another brother, he will confession with another brother, he will never be alone again anywhere. never be alone again anywhere. never be alone again anywhere. And just so you know, the weakness part And just so you know, the weakness part And just so you know, the weakness part scares you. You connect with human scares you. You connect with human scares you. You connect with human beings way more over your weaknesses beings way more over your weaknesses beings way more over your weaknesses than you do over your strengths. Our than you do over your strengths. Our than you do over your strengths. Our strengths keep us from each other, but strengths keep us from each other, but strengths keep us from each other, but our weaknesses connect us deeply. And so our weaknesses connect us deeply. And so our weaknesses connect us deeply. And so I invite you to take a step. Here's I invite you to take a step. Here's I invite you to take a step. Here's here's the question. Are you in your here's the question. Are you in your here's the question. Are you in your life in your vision of friendship moving life in your vision of friendship moving life in your vision of friendship moving toward one person or two people who know toward one person or two people who know toward one person or two people who know everything everything everything about you, about you, about you, fully disclosing your life, a man of fully disclosing your life, a man of fully disclosing your life, a man of many companions comes to ruin, but there many companions comes to ruin, but there many companions comes to ruin, but there is that one friend who sticks closer is that one friend who sticks closer is that one friend who sticks closer than a brother. And over the last 35 or than a brother. And over the last 35 or than a brother. And over the last 35 or so years, from a brand new Christian who so years, from a brand new Christian who so years, from a brand new Christian who had no friends to a a guy who took a had no friends to a a guy who took a had no friends to a a guy who took a risk and showed up at different places, risk and showed up at different places, risk and showed up at different places, God has blessed me with several God has blessed me with several God has blessed me with several friendships that are 25, 30 years long friendships that are 25, 30 years long friendships that are 25, 30 years long where we raised our kids together.

where we raised our kids together. where we raised our kids together. We went through marriage together, went We went through marriage together, went We went through marriage together, went to celebrations together, went through to celebrations together, went through to celebrations together, went through death and loss together, went through death and loss together, went through death and loss together, went through tragedy and financial crisis together, tragedy and financial crisis together, tragedy and financial crisis together, went through all these moments together, went through all these moments together, went through all these moments together, up and down and up and down and up and up and down and up and down and up and up and down and up and down and up and down. And it's a beautiful gift that God down. And it's a beautiful gift that God down. And it's a beautiful gift that God gives when he can find those friends and gives when he can find those friends and gives when he can find those friends and have a vision for friendship for have a vision for friendship for have a vision for friendship for decades. decades. decades. This is what God has for us. And it's This is what God has for us. And it's This is what God has for us. And it's what Jamie and Don and Donna have found. what Jamie and Don and Donna have found. what Jamie and Don and Donna have found. This this testimony was shared at the This this testimony was shared at the This this testimony was shared at the gathering. I thought it was so gathering. I thought it was so gathering. I thought it was so appropriate. I thought we we need to appropriate. I thought we we need to appropriate. I thought we we need to watch it here again. And if you haven't watch it here again. And if you haven't watch it here again. And if you haven't seen it, I want you to watch what seen it, I want you to watch what seen it, I want you to watch what happens as friendship is formed over happens as friendship is formed over happens as friendship is formed over decades. Take a look at Jaime's story. Before I was a Christian, I was seeking. Before I was a Christian, I was seeking. I was unsure. And I was filled with I was unsure. And I was filled with I was unsure. And I was filled with fear. fear. fear. And I met [music] this girl at a job I And I met [music] this girl at a job I And I met [music] this girl at a job I was working at. And was working at. And was working at. And she was the epitome of this blonde she was the epitome of this blonde she was the epitome of this blonde surfer girl. Like, "Oh, everything's surfer girl. Like, "Oh, everything's surfer girl. Like, "Oh, everything's great. Always smiling. I used to think great. Always smiling. I used to think great. Always smiling. I used to think she did drugs." It's like, "Why are you she did drugs." It's like, "Why are you she did drugs." It's like, "Why are you so happy all the time?" And when I went so happy all the time?" And when I went so happy all the time?" And when I went up to her one day, I said, "Robin, you up to her one day, I said, "Robin, you up to her one day, I said, "Robin, you need to like punch out because Michael, need to like punch out because Michael, need to like punch out because Michael, who he was our [music] manager, sees who he was our [music] manager, sees who he was our [music] manager, sees that you're you're stone. You're going that you're you're stone. You're going that you're you're stone. You're going to get fired." And she just looked at to get fired." And she just looked at to get fired." And she just looked at me. says, "I don't do drugs." I said, me. says, "I don't do drugs." I said, me. says, "I don't do drugs." I said, "Well, [music] then why are you so "Well, [music] then why are you so "Well, [music] then why are you so happy?" She said, "Because I'm a happy?" She said, "Because I'm a happy?" She said, "Because I'm a Christian." I said, "Oh." And she says, Christian." I said, "Oh." And she says, Christian." I said, "Oh." And she says, "Would you like to come to Bible study "Would you like to come to Bible study "Would you like to come to Bible study with me?" I'm like, "Yeah, sure. I'll with me?" I'm like, "Yeah, sure. I'll with me?" I'm like, "Yeah, sure. I'll come." Heard the gospel. And one night, come." Heard the gospel. And one night, come." Heard the gospel. And one night, I was by myself in my room. And I just I was by myself in my room. And I just I was by myself in my room. And I just said prayed to receive the Lord like, said prayed to receive the Lord like, said prayed to receive the Lord like, "Lord, please forgive [music] me. I "Lord, please forgive [music] me. I "Lord, please forgive [music] me. I don't know what I'm doing, but I need don't know what I'm doing, but I need don't know what I'm doing, but I need you to come into my life." I met Dawn

you to come into my life." I met Dawn you to come into my life." I met Dawn when my daughter was in first grade and we just uh became [music] friends and we just uh became [music] friends throughout the years. That was many many throughout the years. That was many many throughout the years. That was many many years ago, over 30 years ago that I've years ago, over 30 years ago that I've years ago, over 30 years ago that I've known Don. She stopped teaching there known Don. She stopped teaching there known Don. She stopped teaching there and um [music] I went my way and but we and um [music] I went my way and but we and um [music] I went my way and but we still kept in touch. I'd see her at still kept in touch. I'd see her at still kept in touch. I'd see her at church and she always sent me the church and she always sent me the church and she always sent me the Christmas cards of her and her family. Christmas cards of her and her family. Christmas cards of her and her family. And then one day almost nine years ago And then one day almost nine years ago And then one day almost nine years ago when the Lord called me to [music] start when the Lord called me to [music] start when the Lord called me to [music] start working with high school ministry up and working with high school ministry up and working with high school ministry up and she was leading a group with Donna and she was leading a group with Donna and she was leading a group with Donna and that's how we met and never looked back. Once we [music] started serving together Once we [music] started serving together in youth in youth in youth just that rhythm of Saturday nights day just that rhythm of Saturday nights day just that rhythm of Saturday nights day after day it became special to me just after day it became special to me just after day it became special to me just working [music] working [music] working [music] serving alongside her and um our other serving alongside her and um our other serving alongside her and um our other friend Donna. I couldn't wait to go just friend Donna. I couldn't wait to go just friend Donna. I couldn't wait to go just because I got to serve with them. We because I got to serve with them. We because I got to serve with them. We just started doing life together. That's just started doing life together. That's just started doing life together. That's all. It was just like we served all. It was just like we served all. It was just like we served together. Then we started going out. We together. Then we started going out. We together. Then we started going out. We would go out for coffee, for lunch. We would go out for coffee, for lunch. We would go out for coffee, for lunch. We had lunch dates [music] all the time.

had lunch dates [music] all the time. had lunch dates [music] all the time. And we just like sort of became more And we just like sort of became more And we just like sort of became more than just friends, more like family. than just friends, more like family. than just friends, more like family. Biblical friendship [music] that I've Biblical friendship [music] that I've Biblical friendship [music] that I've experienced through Jamie and through experienced through Jamie and through experienced through Jamie and through Donna is not being afraid to just be who Donna is not being afraid to just be who Donna is not being afraid to just be who I am and not being afraid to tell them I am and not being afraid to tell them I am and not being afraid to tell them when I'm [music] having a rough day and when I'm [music] having a rough day and when I'm [music] having a rough day and I need prayer and I'm at my lowest or I I need prayer and I'm at my lowest or I I need prayer and I'm at my lowest or I celebrate my joys with them and they do celebrate my joys with them and they do celebrate my joys with them and they do the same for for us. [music] My daughter, she developed [music] My daughter, she developed Crohn's disease and that changed her Crohn's disease and that changed her Crohn's disease and that changed her life. life. life. She was able still to go to college and She was able still to go to college and She was able still to go to college and finish [music] her four years, but like finish [music] her four years, but like finish [music] her four years, but like I said, the Crohn's disease took I said, the Crohn's disease took I said, the Crohn's disease took everything out of her and um she everything out of her and um she everything out of her and um she developed colon cancer. [music] [music] The first year that I lost her, [music] The first year that I lost her, the anniversary, I told them, I don't I the anniversary, I told them, I don't I the anniversary, I told them, I don't I want I just I need to be alone. I don't want I just I need to be alone. I don't want I just I need to be alone. I don't want to talk to anybody. [music] want to talk to anybody. [music] want to talk to anybody. [music] So, first thing in the morning, I hear a So, first thing in the morning, I hear a So, first thing in the morning, I hear a knock on the door and there they are.

knock on the door and there they are. knock on the door and there they are. Every year they're there for me. They're Every year they're there for me. They're Every year they're there for me. They're [music] not forgotten. They give me a [music] not forgotten. They give me a [music] not forgotten. They give me a plant. They g they gave me this necklace plant. They g they gave me this necklace plant. They g they gave me this necklace with R on it. Rachel, [music] with R on it. Rachel, [music] with R on it. Rachel, [music] that's loyalty. that's loyalty. that's loyalty. That's friendship. And they have always That's friendship. And they have always That's friendship. And they have always been there for me. And I will always be been there for me. And I will always be been there for me. And I will always be there for them. God's [music] timing is there for them. God's [music] timing is there for them. God's [music] timing is always perfect. always perfect. always perfect. And he knew what I needed when I needed And he knew what I needed when I needed And he knew what I needed when I needed it. When I lost [music] my daughter, I it. When I lost [music] my daughter, I it. When I lost [music] my daughter, I tried to do it alone. I didn't want to tried to do it alone. I didn't want to tried to do it alone. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I just God's [music] talk to anybody. I just God's [music] talk to anybody. I just God's [music] got those people there for you to hold got those people there for you to hold got those people there for you to hold you up. I hear and think of the word you up. I hear and think of the word you up. I hear and think of the word friend. First off, [music] I think of my friend. First off, [music] I think of my friend. First off, [music] I think of my relationship with the Lord. He's not relationship with the Lord. He's not relationship with the Lord. He's not only my savior. Oh, I [clears throat] only my savior. Oh, I [clears throat] only my savior. Oh, I [clears throat] get so emotional. [music] He's my get so emotional. [music] He's my get so emotional. [music] He's my friend. What is a friend? A friend loves friend. What is a friend? A friend loves friend. What is a friend? A friend loves unconditionally. A friend stands by you. unconditionally. A friend stands by you. unconditionally. A friend stands by you. A friend is [music] loyal. A friend A friend is [music] loyal. A friend A friend is [music] loyal. A friend calls you out when it needs to be called calls you out when it needs to be called calls you out when it needs to be called out. But a friend is committed. That's out. But a friend is committed. That's out. But a friend is committed. That's what a friend is. And that's kind of what a friend is. And that's kind of what a friend is. And that's kind of like what the Lord is. He's everything.

like what the Lord is. He's everything. like what the Lord is. He's everything. [music] [music] [music] Faithful. He's good. He's loving. He's Faithful. He's good. He's loving. He's Faithful. He's good. He's loving. He's kind. He's generous. He's giving. He's kind. He's generous. He's giving. He's kind. He's generous. He's giving. He's forgiving. [music] forgiving. [music] forgiving. [music] That's the epitome of what a friendship That's the epitome of what a friendship That's the epitome of what a friendship is. And we learn from that, from what is. And we learn from that, from what is. And we learn from that, from what God is to us, how our friendship is with God is to us, how our friendship is with God is to us, how our friendship is with God. It it [music] just works out into God. It it [music] just works out into God. It it [music] just works out into what our friendship with other people what our friendship with other people what our friendship with other people should be. The same qualities and should be. The same qualities and should be. The same qualities and characteristics as our friendship with characteristics as our friendship with characteristics as our friendship with God should be implemented in our God should be implemented in our God should be implemented in our friendship with other people. That's friendship with other people. That's friendship with other people. That's what friendship [music] is about. That's what friendship [music] is about. That's what friendship [music] is about. That's what community is all about. You get what community is all about. You get what community is all about. You get that all the nuances when you have a that all the nuances when you have a that all the nuances when you have a friendship and it's all based on the friendship and it's all based on the friendship and it's all based on the Lord. It's there's nothing better. >> Jaime articulates a truth >> Jaime articulates a truth that I think most followers of Jesus that I think most followers of Jesus that I think most followers of Jesus never discover never discover never discover that all of the best qualities of God that all of the best qualities of God that all of the best qualities of God toward her are the ingredients toward her are the ingredients toward her are the ingredients in healthy friendship toward others.

in healthy friendship toward others. in healthy friendship toward others. This is the vision that the Bible gives This is the vision that the Bible gives This is the vision that the Bible gives us for friendship. It's the vision that us for friendship. It's the vision that us for friendship. It's the vision that Jesus models and speaks of and that Jesus models and speaks of and that Jesus models and speaks of and that we're invited into. And so my my prayer we're invited into. And so my my prayer we're invited into. And so my my prayer for us is that we don't live life alone. for us is that we don't live life alone. for us is that we don't live life alone. And so some of you, you're going to need And so some of you, you're going to need And so some of you, you're going to need to take a first step. Some of you who to take a first step. Some of you who to take a first step. Some of you who have been watching online for a year, have been watching online for a year, have been watching online for a year, your step is just to show up and just be your step is just to show up and just be your step is just to show up and just be with God's people. Maybe you show up on with God's people. Maybe you show up on with God's people. Maybe you show up on a Wednesday or you show up in a small a Wednesday or you show up in a small a Wednesday or you show up in a small group. Maybe some of you who sat and group. Maybe some of you who sat and group. Maybe some of you who sat and just face forward for for years. You're just face forward for for years. You're just face forward for for years. You're like, you know what? I'm going to I'm like, you know what? I'm going to I'm like, you know what? I'm going to I'm going to try to join the group. I'm going to try to join the group. I'm going to try to join the group. I'm going to sign up to serve. If you show going to sign up to serve. If you show going to sign up to serve. If you show up at the same place every week, it's up at the same place every week, it's up at the same place every week, it's going to be amazing how you find those going to be amazing how you find those going to be amazing how you find those friends and those connections. For some friends and those connections. For some friends and those connections. For some of you, you have really good friends and of you, you have really good friends and of you, you have really good friends and you already serve and you're already you already serve and you're already you already serve and you're already part of a group, but but you've never part of a group, but but you've never part of a group, but but you've never prioritized friendship, like it's never prioritized friendship, like it's never prioritized friendship, like it's never on your calendar, sort of like a on your calendar, sort of like a on your calendar, sort of like a leftover. What if you began to schedule leftover. What if you began to schedule leftover. What if you began to schedule a weekly coffee or a monthly dinner with a weekly coffee or a monthly dinner with a weekly coffee or a monthly dinner with those friends? You plan a mission trip those friends? You plan a mission trip those friends? You plan a mission trip together, a vacation together, or you together, a vacation together, or you together, a vacation together, or you just more intentional when you get just more intentional when you get just more intentional when you get together. You you ask intentional together. You you ask intentional together. You you ask intentional questions. questions. questions. questions about what is God teaching questions about what is God teaching questions about what is God teaching you? Where do you feel like you need you? Where do you feel like you need you? Where do you feel like you need prayer? How can I begin to inject prayer? How can I begin to inject prayer? How can I begin to inject spiritual and vulnerable connections in spiritual and vulnerable connections in spiritual and vulnerable connections in my everyday rhythms of with my friends my everyday rhythms of with my friends my everyday rhythms of with my friends and family? And you're going to find and family? And you're going to find and family? And you're going to find that those relationships go deeper. And that those relationships go deeper. And that those relationships go deeper. And so, we just want to pray right now that so, we just want to pray right now that so, we just want to pray right now that God would help us each to take our own God would help us each to take our own God would help us each to take our own step in these relationships. Let's pray step in these relationships. Let's pray step in these relationships. Let's pray together.

together. together. Holy Spirit, you brought something to Holy Spirit, you brought something to Holy Spirit, you brought something to our mind. Help us to pay attention to our mind. Help us to pay attention to our mind. Help us to pay attention to what came to mind. a person's name, a what came to mind. a person's name, a what came to mind. a person's name, a step you want us to take, step you want us to take, step you want us to take, maybe a sense of comfort that in our maybe a sense of comfort that in our maybe a sense of comfort that in our loneliness, there's hope for change, loneliness, there's hope for change, loneliness, there's hope for change, maybe a sense of conviction that we've maybe a sense of conviction that we've maybe a sense of conviction that we've made a lot of our life, a lot about made a lot of our life, a lot about made a lot of our life, a lot about ourselves. ourselves. ourselves. Father, whatever you brought to our Father, whatever you brought to our Father, whatever you brought to our mind, I pray you give us the courage to mind, I pray you give us the courage to mind, I pray you give us the courage to take that step and trust you forward and take that step and trust you forward and take that step and trust you forward and that our life and this church and all of that our life and this church and all of that our life and this church and all of our relations go richer and deeper as we our relations go richer and deeper as we our relations go richer and deeper as we follow you, Jesus, and as we practice on follow you, Jesus, and as we practice on follow you, Jesus, and as we practice on earth. what will be our practice in earth. what will be our practice in earth. what will be our practice in heaven. heaven. heaven. And so Jesus, make us those people. We And so Jesus, make us those people. We And so Jesus, make us those people. We pray this in Jesus name. pray this in Jesus name. pray this in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Amen. Hey, I want to make a final invitation. Hey, I want to make a final invitation. Hey, I want to make a final invitation. And the final invitation is for anyone And the final invitation is for anyone And the final invitation is for anyone here who doesn't feel or know that sense here who doesn't feel or know that sense here who doesn't feel or know that sense of friendship with God that we talked of friendship with God that we talked of friendship with God that we talked about. So, I'm going to ask every about. So, I'm going to ask every about. So, I'm going to ask every Christian in the room to stay in your Christian in the room to stay in your Christian in the room to stay in your seats and pray because for someone who's seats and pray because for someone who's seats and pray because for someone who's not a Christian, who's never experienced not a Christian, who's never experienced not a Christian, who's never experienced this relationship with God, this is this relationship with God, this is this relationship with God, this is going to be the most important part of going to be the most important part of going to be the most important part of the service and their entire life.

the service and their entire life. the service and their entire life. So Jesus said this to his disciples the So Jesus said this to his disciples the So Jesus said this to his disciples the night he was arrested, the night he was night he was arrested, the night he was night he was arrested, the night he was going to die for them and for all of us. going to die for them and for all of us. going to die for them and for all of us. He said, "There is no greater love than He said, "There is no greater love than He said, "There is no greater love than a man will lay down his life for his a man will lay down his life for his a man will lay down his life for his friend." friend." friend." Now, maybe you've never thought about Now, maybe you've never thought about Now, maybe you've never thought about this, but Jesus died this, but Jesus died this, but Jesus died so that you could be reconnected with so that you could be reconnected with so that you could be reconnected with God, so that you could be a friend of God, so that you could be a friend of God, so that you could be a friend of God. Jesus died so that your sins that God. Jesus died so that your sins that God. Jesus died so that your sins that have separated from God can be paid for. have separated from God can be paid for. have separated from God can be paid for. That gap between you and God can be That gap between you and God can be That gap between you and God can be restored. Jesus died so you could restored. Jesus died so you could restored. Jesus died so you could experience a relationship with him, the experience a relationship with him, the experience a relationship with him, the son, and his father in a way that would son, and his father in a way that would son, and his father in a way that would be uninterrupted between the moment you be uninterrupted between the moment you be uninterrupted between the moment you make this decision make this decision make this decision and the moment you close your eyes in and the moment you close your eyes in and the moment you close your eyes in death and wake up in eternity. death and wake up in eternity. death and wake up in eternity. This is God's reaching out to you just This is God's reaching out to you just This is God's reaching out to you just like he's reached out to all of us in like he's reached out to all of us in like he's reached out to all of us in this room who have made this decision. this room who have made this decision. this room who have made this decision. And so we're going to invite you if And so we're going to invite you if And so we're going to invite you if you've not yet made a decision to follow you've not yet made a decision to follow you've not yet made a decision to follow Jesus. He invites us to repent to change Jesus. He invites us to repent to change Jesus. He invites us to repent to change the way we think. that life is not about the way we think. that life is not about the way we think. that life is not about us and to believe the good news of the us and to believe the good news of the us and to believe the good news of the gospel that God so loved the world that gospel that God so loved the world that gospel that God so loved the world that he sent his only son that whoever would he sent his only son that whoever would he sent his only son that whoever would believe in him put their faith and trust believe in him put their faith and trust believe in him put their faith and trust in him pledge their allegiance to him in him pledge their allegiance to him in him pledge their allegiance to him would not have to perish but they could would not have to perish but they could would not have to perish but they could have everlasting life and this beautiful have everlasting life and this beautiful have everlasting life and this beautiful extravagant invitation of someone who extravagant invitation of someone who extravagant invitation of someone who would die for you when you didn't even would die for you when you didn't even would die for you when you didn't even think about them or know about them think about them or know about them think about them or know about them someone who would give all this up just someone who would give all this up just someone who would give all this up just so you could reconnect to God is a love so you could reconnect to God is a love so you could reconnect to God is a love that the Bible says transcends that the Bible says transcends that the Bible says transcends understanding you are so loved by God.

understanding you are so loved by God. understanding you are so loved by God. And this requires a decision. This And this requires a decision. This And this requires a decision. This lavish gift, this invitation, this price lavish gift, this invitation, this price lavish gift, this invitation, this price has been paid. You have a choice. You has been paid. You have a choice. You has been paid. You have a choice. You either say, "No thanks. I'm good." Or either say, "No thanks. I'm good." Or either say, "No thanks. I'm good." Or you receive this gift that will change you receive this gift that will change you receive this gift that will change your life. And so in this moment, we your life. And so in this moment, we your life. And so in this moment, we affectionately call this moment an altar affectionately call this moment an altar affectionately call this moment an altar call. This is an altar with space for call. This is an altar with space for call. This is an altar with space for anyone who would come. We're going to anyone who would come. We're going to anyone who would come. We're going to play a song and we're going to invite play a song and we're going to invite play a song and we're going to invite you to stand up and walk to this you to stand up and walk to this you to stand up and walk to this platform and pray a very simple prayer platform and pray a very simple prayer platform and pray a very simple prayer that goes like this. God, I open my that goes like this. God, I open my that goes like this. God, I open my heart and I invite you inside. I want to heart and I invite you inside. I want to heart and I invite you inside. I want to start a relationship with you through start a relationship with you through start a relationship with you through your son, Jesus. your son, Jesus. your son, Jesus. I believe you came for me and died for I believe you came for me and died for I believe you came for me and died for me and now I want to live for you. It's me and now I want to live for you. It's me and now I want to live for you. It's not even about the perfect words. It's not even about the perfect words. It's not even about the perfect words. It's about a heart that's ready. This about a heart that's ready. This about a heart that's ready. This decision is the most important decision decision is the most important decision decision is the most important decision a human being can make a human being can make a human being can make because your greatest need is for because your greatest need is for because your greatest need is for forgiveness. Your greatest need is to be forgiveness. Your greatest need is to be forgiveness. Your greatest need is to be reconnected with the God who made you. reconnected with the God who made you. reconnected with the God who made you. And if that's you, I know it's going to And if that's you, I know it's going to And if that's you, I know it's going to require courage. So, we call this this require courage. So, we call this this require courage. So, we call this this moment 20 seconds of insane courage moment 20 seconds of insane courage moment 20 seconds of insane courage where you stand up in front of all these where you stand up in front of all these where you stand up in front of all these people and walk forward. people and walk forward. people and walk forward. And you're not going to get side eyes And you're not going to get side eyes And you're not going to get side eyes like, man, they must have been a bad like, man, they must have been a bad like, man, they must have been a bad sinner. What's wrong with them? You're sinner. What's wrong with them? You're sinner. What's wrong with them? You're going to start hearing applause break going to start hearing applause break going to start hearing applause break out in the room because all of us know out in the room because all of us know out in the room because all of us know what this meant for us. All of us are what this meant for us. All of us are what this meant for us. All of us are sinners. All of us need a savior. All of sinners. All of us need a savior. All of sinners. All of us need a savior. All of us, we need the same thing. And you're us, we need the same thing. And you're us, we need the same thing. And you're surrounded by people who love you, who surrounded by people who love you, who surrounded by people who love you, who are praying for you. So, if right now, are praying for you. So, if right now, are praying for you. So, if right now, this is the moment you're like, I need this is the moment you're like, I need this is the moment you're like, I need this connection with God. I want to this connection with God. I want to this connection with God. I want to experience eternal life and the experience eternal life and the experience eternal life and the forgiveness of my sins. I want this forgiveness of my sins. I want this forgiveness of my sins. I want this relationship. I'm going to ask you to relationship. I'm going to ask you to relationship. I'm going to ask you to stand wherever you are right now and stand wherever you are right now and stand wherever you are right now and walk forward [music] and we will walk forward [music] and we will walk forward [music] and we will celebrate with all of heaven as you

celebrate with all of heaven as you celebrate with all of heaven as you come. Come on. He's waiting for you. come. Come on. He's waiting for you. come. Come on. He's waiting for you. >> How great the >> How great the >> How great the lay between us. How high the mountain lay between us. How high the mountain lay between us. How high the mountain I could not climb. I could not climb. I could not climb. In desperation, In desperation, In desperation, I turned to heaven. I turned to heaven. I turned to heaven. Spoke your name into [music] Spoke your name into [music] Spoke your name into [music] the night. the night. the night. And through the darkness, And through the darkness, And through the darkness, your loving [singing] your loving [singing] your loving [singing] kindness kindness kindness tore through the shadows tore through the shadows tore through the shadows of my soul. of my soul. of my soul. The end is written. The end is written. The end is written. The it is written, [music] The it is written, [music] The it is written, [music] Jesus Christ, my livinging Jesus Christ, my livinging Jesus Christ, my livinging hope. hope. hope. Oh, hallelujah.

Praise the world who set me free. Praise the world who set me free. Hallelujah. Death has [music] lost its grip Death has [music] lost its grip [singing] on me. You have broken every [singing] on me. You have broken every [singing] on me. You have broken every chain. There's salvation chain. There's salvation chain. There's salvation [music and singing] [music and singing] [music and singing] in your name, Jesus Christ, my living in your name, Jesus Christ, my living in your name, Jesus Christ, my living hope. hope. hope. [music] [music] [music] Oh, we celebrate with you. [applause] Oh, we celebrate with you. [applause] Oh, we celebrate with you. [applause] Living hope. That's what this is about Living hope. That's what this is about Living hope. That's what this is about right now. And we are honored to be a part of this And we are honored to be a part of this moment where you pray this prayer. I moment where you pray this prayer. I moment where you pray this prayer. I mean, today is August 23rd, 2026. God mean, today is August 23rd, 2026. God mean, today is August 23rd, 2026. God knew on this day he would meet you here knew on this day he would meet you here knew on this day he would meet you here that you would be ready and as you that you would be ready and as you that you would be ready and as you confess that you're a sinner that you confess that you're a sinner that you confess that you're a sinner that you need to save or all your sins are going need to save or all your sins are going need to save or all your sins are going to be forgiven and all the shame and to be forgiven and all the shame and to be forgiven and all the shame and guilt that goes with that sin God's guilt that goes with that sin God's guilt that goes with that sin God's going to begin the work of new creation going to begin the work of new creation going to begin the work of new creation taking the brokenness of your life and taking the brokenness of your life and taking the brokenness of your life and bringing redemption. Listen, his his bringing redemption. Listen, his his bringing redemption. Listen, his his redemption is greater than your redemption is greater than your redemption is greater than your brokenness. His power is greater than brokenness. His power is greater than brokenness. His power is greater than any stronghold in your life. His any stronghold in your life. His any stronghold in your life. His forgiveness is greater than any sin forgiveness is greater than any sin forgiveness is greater than any sin you've ever committed. and you're about you've ever committed. and you're about you've ever committed. and you're about to experience this miraculous beginning to experience this miraculous beginning to experience this miraculous beginning with God. That's just the first day, with God. That's just the first day, with God. That's just the first day, just the starting point. And so, we're just the starting point. And so, we're just the starting point. And so, we're excited for you. I want to pray with you excited for you. I want to pray with you excited for you. I want to pray with you in just a moment.

in just a moment. in just a moment. But I want to just pause for just one But I want to just pause for just one But I want to just pause for just one more minute more minute more minute for all the procrastinators out there for all the procrastinators out there for all the procrastinators out there who are thinking I should be up there, who are thinking I should be up there, who are thinking I should be up there, but I missed it. I know that because but I missed it. I know that because but I missed it. I know that because that was me for a long time. I should, I that was me for a long time. I should, I that was me for a long time. I should, I should, I should. I'll wait next week. should, I should. I'll wait next week. should, I should. I'll wait next week. Maybe some other time. I have questions. Maybe some other time. I have questions. Maybe some other time. I have questions. I still want to do my own thing. like I still want to do my own thing. like I still want to do my own thing. like all the things. all the things. all the things. And I just want to say don't hesitate. don't hesitate. This invitation is given for today. The This invitation is given for today. The This invitation is given for today. The Bible says today is the day of Bible says today is the day of Bible says today is the day of salvation. Today is the day of salvation. Today is the day of salvation. Today is the day of redemption. If you hear his voice, do redemption. If you hear his voice, do redemption. If you hear his voice, do not harden your heart. If that's anyone not harden your heart. If that's anyone not harden your heart. If that's anyone here, you're already standing. Just step here, you're already standing. Just step here, you're already standing. Just step into the aisle and walk this way. We we into the aisle and walk this way. We we into the aisle and walk this way. We we don't want you to miss this moment. And don't want you to miss this moment. And don't want you to miss this moment. And so this is your opportunity to come. so this is your opportunity to come. so this is your opportunity to come. Come on. Come on. Come on. >> [applause] >> Welcome. Glad you're here.

>> Welcome. Glad you're here. Come on. Come on. Come on. [applause] [applause] [applause] Come on, church. Let's applaud these Come on, church. Let's applaud these Come on, church. Let's applaud these decisions of faith as they're being decisions of faith as they're being decisions of faith as they're being made. This is lifechanging, eternity made. This is lifechanging, eternity made. This is lifechanging, eternity changing stuff right now. [applause] changing stuff right now. [applause] changing stuff right now. [applause] We celebrate with heaven. We celebrate with heaven. We celebrate with heaven. So good. [applause] So good. Welcome. Welcome. Glad you're here. Welcome. Welcome. Glad you're here. [applause] So now for you that have come, I'm just So now for you that have come, I'm just going to give you some simple words to going to give you some simple words to going to give you some simple words to say out loud to God. So just repeat this say out loud to God. So just repeat this say out loud to God. So just repeat this out loud. He's listening and he'll out loud. He's listening and he'll out loud. He's listening and he'll answer this prayer. Say this to God. answer this prayer. Say this to God. answer this prayer. Say this to God. Lord God, I open my heart and I invite Lord God, I open my heart and I invite Lord God, I open my heart and I invite you inside. Forgive my sin you inside. Forgive my sin you inside. Forgive my sin today. I repent. today. I repent. today. I repent. Now fill me with your spirit Now fill me with your spirit Now fill me with your spirit and I will walk with you all the days of and I will walk with you all the days of and I will walk with you all the days of my life. I pray this in Jesus name.

my life. I pray this in Jesus name. my life. I pray this in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Guys, congratulations. Amen. Amen. Guys, congratulations. Amen. Amen. Guys, congratulations. Welcome to the family of God. So, I'm Welcome to the family of God. So, I'm Welcome to the family of God. So, I'm going to ask you just to give us five going to ask you just to give us five going to ask you just to give us five more minutes. You just made the most more minutes. You just made the most more minutes. You just made the most important decision in your life. I'm important decision in your life. I'm important decision in your life. I'm going to ask you to follow me and our going to ask you to follow me and our going to ask you to follow me and our crew over that open door right there crew over that open door right there crew over that open door right there where we're going to give you a Bible where we're going to give you a Bible where we're going to give you a Bible and have a quick conversation. You'll be and have a quick conversation. You'll be and have a quick conversation. You'll be back with your friends in 5 minutes. back with your friends in 5 minutes. back with your friends in 5 minutes. Church, can we give them a hand as they Church, can we give them a hand as they Church, can we give them a hand as they go this way? go this way? go this way? [applause] And listen, if you still feel [applause] And listen, if you still feel [applause] And listen, if you still feel that sense of aloneeness, we're going to that sense of aloneeness, we're going to that sense of aloneeness, we're going to invite you to come forward for prayer invite you to come forward for prayer invite you to come forward for prayer right now or show up on Wednesday night. right now or show up on Wednesday night. right now or show up on Wednesday night. But right now, let's respond in worship But right now, let's respond in worship But right now, let's respond in worship to Jesus who is worthy of our praise. to Jesus who is worthy of our praise. to Jesus who is worthy of our praise. Let's [music] worship, church. Let's [music] worship, church. Let's [music] worship, church. >> Come on, let's put our hands together. >> Come on, let's put our hands together. >> Come on, let's put our hands together. Sing this. Sing this. Sing this. Everybody clap your hands. Everybody Everybody clap your hands. Everybody Everybody clap your hands. Everybody move [music] your feet. Isn't he move [music] your feet. Isn't he move [music] your feet. Isn't he [singing] worthy, worthy of everything? [singing] worthy, worthy of everything? [singing] worthy, worthy of everything? [music] Give it all. Don't hold back. [music] Give it all. Don't hold back. [music] Give it all. Don't hold back. Praise him with all you have. [singing] Praise him with all you have. [singing] Praise him with all you have. [singing] Isn't [music] he worthy, worthy of Isn't [music] he worthy, worthy of Isn't [music] he worthy, worthy of everything? Everybody clap your hands. everything? Everybody clap your hands. everything? Everybody clap your hands. Everybody move your feet. Isn't [music] Everybody move your feet. Isn't [music] Everybody move your feet. Isn't [music] he worthy? Worthy [singing] of he worthy? Worthy [singing] of he worthy? Worthy [singing] of everything. Give it all. Don't hold everything. Give it all. Don't hold everything. Give it all. Don't hold back. Praise him with all you have.

back. Praise him with all you have. back. Praise him with all you have. [music] [music] [music] Isn't he worthy? Worthy of everything. Isn't he worthy? Worthy of everything. Isn't he worthy? Worthy of everything. [singing] Everybody Everybody is worthy. [music] is worthy. [music] is worthy. [music] Worthy of everything. [music] Praise all your house be worthy, [music] Praise all your house be worthy, worthy of everything. worthy of everything. worthy of everything. He shall be [music and singing] praised. He shall be [music and singing] praised. He shall be [music and singing] praised. He shall be praised He shall be praised He shall be praised in heaven and ever to in heaven and ever to in heaven and ever to [music and singing] save. He shall be [music and singing] save. He shall be [music and singing] save. He shall be praised. He shall be praised. praised. He shall be praised. praised. He shall be praised. Exha. [music] Amen.

Amen. If you need [music] prayer, we have a If you need [music] prayer, we have a If you need [music] prayer, we have a prayer team down here at their front. prayer team down here at their front. prayer team down here at their front. They would love to pray for you. But They would love to pray for you. But They would love to pray for you. But enjoy your Sunday and we'll see you enjoy your Sunday and we'll see you enjoy your Sunday and we'll see you [music] back next week. >> Thanks for listening to today's message. >> Thanks for listening to today's message. You know, here at Calvary, we believe a You know, here at Calvary, we believe a You know, here at Calvary, we believe a relationship with Jesus [music] changes relationship with Jesus [music] changes relationship with Jesus [music] changes everything. And if you've decided to everything. And if you've decided to everything. And if you've decided to follow Jesus, we'd love for you to text follow Jesus, we'd love for you to text follow Jesus, we'd love for you to text the word believe to 31352 the word believe to 31352 the word believe to 31352 so you can find out what it means to so you can find out what it means to so you can find out what it means to follow Christ. And to learn more about follow Christ. And to learn more about follow Christ. And to learn more about Calvary and all of our campuses, you're Calvary and all of our campuses, you're Calvary and all of our campuses, you're free to visit calvaryftl.org.